


Chez Benjamin

by BloomsburySet1981



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Restaurant, Eventual Smut, M/M, Sexual Tension, Thriller
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:20:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 49,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23378278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloomsburySet1981/pseuds/BloomsburySet1981
Summary: Ben Mitchell is the owner/manager of a new restaurant in Walford and Callum Highway is the hot shot new head chef. Both are striving for glory in the restaurant world.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 57
Kudos: 189





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is one day away from opening up Walford's latest eatery Chez Benjamin and he has still to hire a new head chef after the first guy he hired turned out to be a disaster.

It's 4am and Ben is tip-toeing out of the bedroom. There's a stirring in the bed and Ben thinks he's blown it but soon the movement stops and he hears loud snores. He carefully grabs his shoes and heads downstairs as silently as he can manage. He sits in the flash designer kitchen and ties his trainers. Luckily it's Monday so he doesn't have to worry about looking smart and as put together as he normally is. He grabs a glass of water as quietly as he can manage but just as he's about to leave by the back door he's caught in a bear hug from behind. 'Darling it's 4am where are you going? Come back to bed and let's snuggle'. Ben shudders slightly at the breath on his neck. He slowly turns around and plants a big grin on his face. He removes the hands that have been planted on his shoulders and takes the other man's hands in his own. 'Liam, I have to get to the restaurant. The soft opening last week was a disaster. The chef Ian originally hired was a charlatan, a total blow-hard who completely ruined service. We had to fire Tom on the spot. Thank fuck it was only friends and family.'

Liam just huffs and turns around to head to the fridge to grab some orange juice. He drinks it straight from the carton. Ben cannot suppress an eye-roll. Luckily Liam didn't pick up on it or it would be the start of yet another argument about Ben being immature. Despite the fact that here Liam was yet again drinking straight from the carton after Ben has asked him again and again not to do it. Ben knows he it's a little bit petty but Liam picks apart everything Ben does as yet another example of Ben being a brat ... or spoiled ... or entitled ... or basically any other insult he can throw Ben's way. They've been going out for nearly three years now and hadn't moved in together yet but Liam pretty much treated Ben's place as his own. Sometimes he wondered whether it was because his place was closer to Liam's work that he stayed here all the time or whether he actually wanted to spend time with him. Liam was a solicitor at a local firm, top notch, well according to Liam himself. He was short, just a little shorter than Ben, and in his late-forties. They had met when he had represented Ben back in wilder days, when his dad got him in trouble constantly and before he had gone into the restaurant business with his brother. Now that he thinks about it wasn't very appropriate of Liam to start a relationship with a client, especially a client who was so young, and sometimes he wonders why he's stuck it out for so long.

'What's wrong?' Ben runs his hands through his short hair and sits down at the kitchen table. He looks around his kitchen. It's top of the range but he barely uses it. Part of the perk of working in the restaurant business is that he gets restaurant quality meals all day but it means that he probably wasted the guts of twenty grand on this part of the house renovation. At the time it was all Liam's idea, he practically picked everything down to the most expensive kettle he could find. Ben has slowly spent the last year discovering more facets of Liam's personality that perturb him. Most recently it was the drinking out of the carton no matter how many times Ben and his daughter Lexi asked him. Before that it was his view that as long it was expensive it was better than anything else. Ben learned this the hard way during the house renovation. Funny enough when it came to Liam putting his own hands in his pocket he preferred to not spend anything at all. Most nights he ended up in whatever restaurant Ben was managing and would end up eating for free. Ben knew it annoyed his brother and most of the other staff but until recently he was totally under Liam's spell. Then it was all the other stuff, how he treated Ben, his family and friends and how he seemed to feel that he was above everyone else. Liam was always right, everyone else was always wrong it seemed.....especially Ben.

'Benny, I just want to spend some time with you. We barely see each other anymore, especially since you opened Chez Benjamin. I thought opening up a restaurant two minutes from your own door would mean that we would have more time together. Maybe we could have that conversation about moving in together finally. I think that might be the best course of action for us longterm. I could rent my apartment and then we could maybe extend the kitchen and change the spare room into an office.' Liam stood with his back against the counter nonchalantly picking his nails oblivious to the fact that Ben was about to explode in anger. 'Spare room! What the hell are you on about Liam, that's Lexi's room and you know that!' He stood up quickly and grabbed his keys and coat. 'Look I just spent a small fortune on the renovation which only got finished what like two months ago, nothing else is being done to my gaff in like five years max.' 

Liam just looked at him with a small smirk. 'There you go again, overreacting. Darling, you really need to start looking at the bigger picture. Lexi barely spends one day a month here. She could just stay on a roll-out bed and we could put the room to better use.' Ben looked at the older man, tilting his head to one side with his jaw in a dangerous straight sharp line. 'Not going to happen Liam, she's my little girl and she'll always have a room no matter how many days a month she stays. Look I think it might be a good idea if we took some space from each other alright.' Suddenly Liam has a panicked look and rushes towards Ben, holding him in his arms. Ben feels trapped ... suffocated ... and it dawns on him on how long he's felt this way. A relationship shouldn't be like this. He remembers the early days of their courtship and how he felt so flattered by the attention of such a sophisticated and handsome older man. Now he's beginning to realise that he was just so eager to be loved by anyone because of his dysfunctional relationship with his father. He remembers how awful it was coming out to his old man and how Phil was so disgusted by him. Then to placate and impress his father he took on any dodgy job no matter how dangerous or illegal. When he got arrested for money laundering (money laundering for his old man) Phil hired Liam DeVere to be his solicitor and somehow Liam got him off the charge. Ben's still not entirely sure how the hell he managed it. The case seemed pretty indefensible at the time. The day he told his father that he was dating Liam, Phil actually hugged him. Ben was shocked and thought finally Phil Mitchell was over his homophobia. He should have known Phil was just delighted because he assumed he would get any necessary legal services at cost price or even better free. He's pretty sure half of Liam's workload is Phil's dodgy dealings.

'Please Benny, look I'm sorry. I just love you so much. I get so excited about the thought of us finally living together. Look I have a lecture series over the next couple of nights in the city after work so I'm going to stay in mine because it'll be easier to get home but we'll have dinner together in the restaurant on Friday and sort out a few things. Right darling.' Liam clings and presses onto Ben's body. He may be short but he's stacked and looks like Hugh Jackman in the right light. Ben looks him in his deep brown eyes and sees why he fell for him. He's handsome with dark hair, peppered with grey now, but this just makes him look distinguished. His muscles are strong and firm. Ben knows he has to end this toxic relationship, he has known for some time but each time he broaches the topic Liam skilfully manoeuvres the conversation to another topic. Guess that's what makes him such an excellent solicitor. 'Ok, I'll see you in the restaurant Friday around eight. I have to go now though Liam. I'm meeting Ian early at the restaurant Liam, he has the details of some new chefs that I want to look at and I need to catch up on a lot of admin before tomorrow.' They kiss and Ben has to admit that this is something that hasn't fizzled out of their relationship, the physical side. Ben pulls himself away with a sigh. 'Right have a good day, get back to bed and I'll text you later.'

It's a beautiful bright June morning as Ben makes his way to Chez Benjamin. He started working with his brother Ian nearly three years ago, bringing an end to his life of crime. At first he shadowed his brother in his other restaurants, in Soho, Manchester, Greenwich and Melbourne. This was the fifth restaurant in the Beale empire, right back where it all started and this was the one Ben had the full reins of. His big chance to prove himself in the restaurant world. He just had to find the right head chef to achieve his dream of being the hottest new restaurant in the east end. He could run front of house with no problem at all, but unlike his brother he could barely fry an egg. Although if his brother was brutally honest, which he wasn't unfortunately, Ian barely cooked anymore. He spent most of his time schmoozing now that he was a bigwig in the restaurant world. He'd even opened a cookery school five years ago two boroughs from Walford and hired the majority of his staff, front of house and kitchen, from the classroom. 

Ben smiled as he spotted the doors of Chez Benjamin, set in the former grounds of Walford East. He had been spruced up to the highest spec. The outside was painted dark navy and the sign above the door was a bold straight font with artistically rusted edges. Inside the decor was tasteful. Somehow Ben had managed to leave Liam out of the decision making otherwise it might have ended up looking like the palace at Versailles. The walls and exposed wooden facades of the benches were all painted the same dark navy. Delicate simple chandeliers were sparsely dotted around the ceiling alongside more industrial lighting. Ben had opened up the front of the building and put some large windows in to allow more light to enter during the daytime and to allow the restaurant to be more inviting at night. The chairs were plush and all decorated in the same burnt gold velvet. The bar looked like something straight from a speakeasy and Ben prided himself on being an expert mixologist. On the walls were pictures of Walford though the ages, mostly black and white. Whenever Ben walked through the restaurant floor he felt a huge sense of achievement and excitement about what the next couple of years would bring.

His office was at the back of the restaurant just opposite the kitchen and he knew that's where his brother, Ian, would be. As it went in the office door it irked him that his brother was sitting in his chair with his feet on his desk rifling through the files. 'Ahem, are you quite comfortable Ian?' Most people would have the modesty to look embarrassed when caught snooping but not Ian Beale. His brother just smirked at him while he put the files back in the drawer, 'This chairs a bit crap isn't it. Right I'll have to make this quick I have a flight to catch to a cookery demo in Edinburgh. I found a half decent bloke, came recommended by Mick Carter funnily enough but his credentials check out and he should do for here anyways.' Ben quirked his eyebrows at his brothers rudeness, 'So I don't get a veto or anything then'. Ian just smiled at his brother as he stood up and made his way to leave. "Sorry Ben but you don't really have time for that do you, opening is tomorrow. He'll be in this morning around six to make himself familiar with the menu I designed. Look have to go, my Uber's outside.' Ben stood opened mouthed as his brother legged it out the door. 'Eh wait .. wait .. Ian come back. What's his name? Ian?' Ben huffed out a breath as he tried to catch his brother who was currently speeding out of Walford on his way to the airport. 'Shit! Ian you are a massive plonker.'

As the morning progressed, Ben got to work in the office clearing the backlog of emails that he had to reply to and sorting out some invites to the grand opening. At 5.45am he slowly stretched and made his way to the front of the restaurant to see if anything needed to be sorted. behind the bar. After the morning he's had he's very tempted to pour himself a large whiskey but he refrains and makes himself a large black coffee instead. As he potters about sipping his coffee he notices a tall man standing opposite the restaurant. Ben leans against one of the tables and regards the stranger outside. The stranger is tall, not imposingly so, he's slightly stooped as if to compensate for his height and he's looking down the road. Ben sits against the table and wonders who he's waiting for. He has light brown hair gelled back into an extravagant quiff and Ben thinks he can make out golden streaks caught in the early morning June sunshine. He looks nervous and has in hands stuffed into his light green jacket despite the heat. As Ben is wondering if this tall man's ass is as peachy as the meaty thighs he can view, the man turns and catches Ben eye. Ben feels his whole face turn scarlet after being caught rotten checking this guy out and is about to leg it back to his office when the man starts waving. Confused Ben begins to wave until the penny drops, 'Ah shit,' he whispers to himself,'I've just been perving on the new head chef'.

Ben rushes to unlock the front door of the restaurant. The taller man is making his way slowly towards him and as he nears Ben can make out how handsome his face is. As he nears Ben can see that this man has the most beautiful blue eyes he has ever seen, clear like a tropical ocean and Ben feels himself begin to drown in them. He gulps, 'Wow'. The other man quirks his head, 'Sorry couldn't make out what you just said, I assume you're Ben Mitchell, Ian told me you'd be here this morning.' Ben feels flustered and quickly tries to compose himself before he can reveal more of his inner monologue. 'Eh yeah that's me', he stutters. 'Welcome to Chez Benjamin. Come inside, do you want a coffee or anything?' The chef walks by him and looks approvingly at his surroundings; 'Nice decor mate, very welcoming'. Ben blushes at the compliment,'Cheers I really wanted it to a comfortable space, not just style over substance ya know.' The other man nods in agreement and surveys his surroundings further. Ben regains his composure, 'Let's go into my office and I can fill you in ... uhm ... I'm so so sorry my brother never gave me your name.' Callum smiles, quirks his eyebrows and holds out his hand, 'That's alright Ben, the name's Callum .... Callum Highway'.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum finds his feet in the kitchen.

'So we have Chantelle, she runs the front of house and keeps everyone on their toes. Any issues with any of the waiting staff just go straight to her. I trust her judgement completely, she has never steered me wrong. Billy is the head barman. He's harmless and related to me so you know nepotism and all that.' Callum looks up at Ben and doesn't know whether to laugh but Ben is smiling so he feels safe and lets out a chuckle. 'He's a good barman though. The waiting staff are all pretty decent; my nephew Bobby, more nepotism I know, I know, Tiffany and Whitney. In the kitchen, the brigade is a pretty tight ship, hopefully you'll approve but I think they're a good lot. There's Keegan on pot wash, Tubbs is the sous chef and Honey, Billy's wife, is the pastry chef.' Callum sits and drinks his coffee letting all the information wash over him. They've been chatting for the last fifteen minutes, Ben doing most of the talking and Callum just taking it all in.

'Right point me in the direction of the kitchen then Ben.' Callum jumps up from his seat and claps his hands together ready for action. Ben looks up confused, 'Uhm .. do you not have any questions for me?' Callum smiles gently 'Don't know if I'll take the job 'til I see the kitchen do I.' Ben is taken aback by his cheekiness but must admit to himself that it impresses him as well. He quirks his eyebrows 'Oh I was under the impression you were a sure thing Cal, well according to my brother anyways.' Callum beams and leans back against the door frame 'A sure thing? I'm one of the best chefs in the country right now Ben, not to blow my own trumpet or anything. But I always want to be better. I always want to make sure the kitchen that I work in is of the best standard so that it'll make my job easer and will also allow my brigade to work to the best of their ability.' 

'Ah I can ensure you we have the most up to date equipment, I've definitely not spared any expense in the kitchen Cal,' Ben smiles as he moves from his seat to guide Callum to the nearby kitchen. 'The kitchen is just here ... all mod cons as you can see' Ben quips. Callum wanders around the space running his fingers all over the surfaces, checking in ovens, sous vides, grills and fridges. 'It's not about the money you spend Ben. It's about the quality which is not necessarily found in the most expensive equipment out there. If a chef can't cook with just a knife, pot and chopping board I think that chef needs to rethink their career choice don't you. Sure the bells and whistles make our life easier but most of the time it's about the flow of the kitchen, how the space has been used and Ben this space. Well this space flows very nicely.'

Ben's not quite sure what to say. He's pretty certain that he's not come across a chef quite like Callum Highway before. There's a balance of confidence, charm, naivety and vulnerability evident that is bewitching to Ben, to say the least. 'Woah ... ok ...cool. Eh what I mean is thanks. I designed the layout so that means a lot. Thanks.' Ben feels very flustered all of a sudden. 'So I left some menus over there for you to peruse, my brother designed the menu of course. The soft opening to be honest didn't go too well and I'm a bit worried as we open properly tomorrow. The other guys know the menus inside out but the diners weren't too excited if you know what I mean. I thought it might have been the previous head chef, he was very flustered and just wasn't the right fit. He rubbed the others up the wrong way and dismissive of their input.' Ben watched as the taller man took the menus in his hands and perused them. Every now and then Callum would shake his head and tut or take a bit breath. It felt like a lifetime 'til he spoke again.

'Right it's too late to change the menu as it stands.' Callum bites his bottom lip and begins to pace the kitchen gesticulating animately. Ben starts to get worried that he'll knock over the pans sitting clean on the sink. 'I can work on it over the next couple of weeks, I'll start trying to introduce some modernity to it, definitely a lot more local produce. We have some amazing artisans in the vicinity so we should be using their products. If we're trading on being local with photos of Walford through the ages all over the walls, we need to support other local producers and suppliers.' Ben is instantly impressed by Callum's knowledge and passion. Suddenly it feels like someone is on the same page as him and wants the same results. 

'Great .. fantastic ... this sounds amazing Cal. I'm totally on board but what are we going to do about tomorrow night. I really want to make a good impression.' Callum stops pacing and looks up at Ben smiling. 'Don't worry Ben. I'm going to cut this menu down to size. It's way too big. No wonder your last head chef was overwhelmed and the diners unimpressed. It's all about quality not quantity as I said before. I can tweak a couple of the dishes here to make them more impressive but more importantly taste better. I'm not too sure what your brother was thinking with this menu at all. It's huge. Look let me cook a couple of tasters today so you can get the idea of what I can achieve here and settle some of your nerves about tomorrow. What do ya think.' It's funny but this new guy is making Ben feel calm already. 'Yeah that sounds great Cal. Thank you so much for doing this.' 

'All part of the job Ben,' Callum walks over to Ben and puts his arm around Ben's shoulder, squeezing him gently and assuredly. Ben feels like suddenly his whole body is on fire by this one friendly gesture alone and his face feels like it's gone purple. It seems like Callum doesn't notice his effect on Ben at all, smiling down on the smaller man kindly and reassuringly, 'Look you head back to your office and get what you need to get done finished and I'll give ya a shout when I'm done. This will give me a chance to get to know the kitchen properly and give it a deep clean afterwards. You can take the man out of the army.' Callum's smile is infectious, Ben just can't help but beam back at him. He reminds him of a lad called Paul that he got to know a few years back, early on in his relationship with Liam. Liam didn't like them spending time together and Ben would do anything to please Liam at that stage in his life so they kept their distance. But he remembers Paul's smile and how it seemed to light up the darkest room. Unfortunately he was killed in a tragic attack not long after they had gotten to know each other, a senseless attack that they had yet to find the perpetrator for. He remembers how it had affected him. At the funeral he remembers how Paul's grandparents had held onto him and told them how much he meant to Paul. At the time he dismissed it but now he remembers how Liam had smiled inappropriately at the scene in front of him. Paul's grandmother Pam had held Ben's face in her hands and mysteriously said - _Oh love, you and Paul, what could have been_. She had kissed him on the forehead and walked away to her husband Les before he could ask her what she meant. He had tried to find her later at the funeral reception at the Vic but Liam had insisted Ben come home with him. At the time if Liam said jump, Ben jumped, so he left reluctantly trying to see if he could catch Pam before he left to no avail. As he sits in his office he wonders where Pam and Les are now. He knows they moved away shortly after the funeral but he can't remember where they ended up. He should check in with his brother Jay. Jay runs their undertaker business now so surely he would know their contact details.

As the morning progresses Ben gets through all his admin work and catches up with some drinks suppliers. He hears Callum in the kitchen from his office and smiles as he can hear the other man sing as he cooks. Not a bad voice at all he thinks to himself. The aroma drifting into his office from the kitchen is mouth watering and Ben's stomach starts to rumble. He realises all he's had this morning was coffee followed by more coffee. He wanders into the kitchen unnoticed by the singing chef. Callum has put on the uniform Ben has provided, not the usual chef whites, but a tight black t-shirt with the restaurant logo in red covered with a matching black apron. Now that his jacket has been removed, Ben notices that Callum is wearing tight dark grey skinny jeans. Ben stares approvingly at Callum's ass and notices that it is indeed as peachy as he thought it would be. He shakes his head and thinks to himself - _I have got to stop checking this new guy out. What the hell is wrong with me!!._ _I'm like a dog in heat._

'Ahem,' Ben stands up straight and composes himself. 'Alright Ben mate, nearly done here. Look you just make yourself comfortable inside and I'll bring this all in.' Ben surveys the kitchen and is astounded at how many pots, ovens and grills Callum has on the go. Despite this Callum is the master of his domain, there's no mess and everything looks completely under control. The aromas are divine and it looks like Callum has done the work of ten chefs not one. Ben is suitably impressed already and he hasn't even tasted a morsel. 'Alright I'll grab a bottle of vino and I'll see you inside Cal.'

Ben heads to the front of the restaurant and picks a seat right beside the window, his favourite in fact. He selects a nice light white wine, a pinot gris, although he's normally a beer or whiskey drinker or maybe the odd cheeky cocktail, and grabs two glasses. Callum appears at the table with the first round of plates and steadily brings more and more, putting some on a nearby table. 'Ok so let me start with the starters. Badum tish!' Callum beams excitedly at Ben despite the terrible joke and Ben can't help but giggle like a schoolgirl. 'Ok so where do we start Cal because this all looks amazing. I took the liberty of pouring you a glass, is that alright mate.' Callum plonked himself down across from Ben and took a glass and raised it in the air 'Here's to the beginning of a wonderful partnership'. They clinked their glasses and proceeded to tuck in.

"Ok so I've trimmed the menu down to five starters, five mains and five desserts for now with some specials that will change weekly. I've just done a couple of samples to give you a flavour of what I can do. I think I've improved the dishes but I haven't changed them too much so the brigade won't have too much trouble picking them up if they're any good. I've done two of the starters up; the pork croquettes I've removed most of the unnecessary faff and just paired them with a red pepper emulsion, chorizo crisp and a quails egg. The Jerusalem artichoke risotto will be the veggie option and I can adapt that to make it vegan if needs be.' Ben tucks in and is immediately impressed. They're small dishes but the flavour is immense. 'Oh my God, Cal these are out of this world.' He makes short work of the dishes and is suitably geared up to try the mains. Already Ben feels much more confident about the impending restaurant opening if this is what this new cookery wizard can achieve in a morning. 

Callum looks ridiculously happy, the biggest grin appearing on his face. 'Great, I'm so happy you like them. Right for mains I managed to rustle up some cod with pumpkin gnocchi with a curry foam for one dish and some pigeon with a burnt onion sauce served with roasted barley. I think long term I'd like to develop a tasting menu we could serve at weekends to try and draw in some foodies. What do you think?' While Callum was describing the dishes Ben had pretty much devoured everything in sight. Looking up he felt a little embarrassed to appear so gluttonous but he'd never eaten food as well cooked before and suddenly he felt like the luckiest restaurant manager in the world. 'Cal mate I think I've just struck gold with you. Every dish is better than the last. The tasting menu idea sounds amazing, if you think it's a good idea I'm on board.' The chef took a big gulp of wine and jumped up, 'I'm just gonna run and finish the desserts, here let me top up your glass.' Callum leaned over Ben's shoulder and refilled his wine glass laying his arm behind Ben's chair for support. As Ben looked up to the taller man's face he became transfixed again by his sparkling blue eyes. Slowly Callum turned to look at him and time seemed to freeze. Up close he could almost feel the scratch of the other man's stubble and could smell the soft woody scent of his cologne. Ben wasn't entirely certain but he thought the chef quickly glanced at his lips before he pulled away and swiftly made his way to the kitchen. 'Eh, will just be a fifteen minutes or so mate'. Ben shifted uncomfortably in his seat trying to think of unsexy thoughts - _His dad in his holiday speedos. There that's fixed that problem._

Exactly fifteen minutes later Callum reappears from the kitchen with desserts in hand. Ben looks up from his phone. 'To finish we have a pistachio soufflé with an almond milk ice-cream and then a dark chocolate tart which when I have enough time will come with vanilla ice cream. But for now we have some Chantilly cream. I'd recommend we start with the soufflé, because, well it's a soufflé,' he giggles. 

After they finish, Ben feeling like his stomach might explode from all the delectable food he has consumed, they sit and chat for a while about hobbies, family and their backgrounds. It turns out they like a lot of the same music and films, both come from dysfunctional families although neither goes into too much detail and that they have a similar sense of humour. 'I'm staying with the Carters at the Vic at the moment. It's pretty crowded but I'm hoping once I finally settle in the area I can find a small flat or house-share.' Callum had been filling in Ben on his relationship with their mutual acquaintances, the Carters. 'Well I've lived on square for practically my whole life, so if I hear of anything going I'll keep you posted, alright.' Callum beams what Ben is considering his trademark winning smile and lightly touches his elbow, 'Cheers mate that would be ace.' 

'So Cal what do you think we can achieve here? I'm surprised no one has snapped someone like you up yet, I mean like to be a head chef you know.' Ben can feel himself become flustered again but hides it by taking another gulp of wine. For the first time since he has entered the restaurant Callum seems standoffish and nervous. It seems like Ben has found a chink in the armour and he feels instantly guilty even though it was such a harmless question. 'Uhm I suppose it took me a while to ... I mean I've got ambition but I wanted to learn as much as I could before I took that step ya know. It's a big step to become a head chef and you have to be ready to run a brigade. It's a massive responsibility. I feel completely in control .. I mean ready .. now. I want this more than ever now.' Ben sits back and considers Callum's demeanour, it had completely changed and it made him curious. But he wasn't going to push the subject further so he just nodded and raised his glass in a toast. 'To Chez Benjamin then and its new top chef.' Callum chinked his glass against Bens. 'Cheers Ben'.

Outside unseen by the two men currently laughing and sipping wine, stood Liam. If Ben looked out the window at this moment and noticed the look on Liam's face, he would have had only one word to describe his appearance ...... murderous.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The grand opening of Chez Benjamin

Ben thrummed with nervous energy. Finally opening night was here! The day was spent running around making sure everything was perfect for the grand opening. Chantelle was his faithful co-commander and between them they managed to corral all the waiting and bar-staff into order. Ben had no such worries in the kitchen. As soon as Callum walked over the threshold he had them working like a well-oiled machine; all prep completed in record time and each chef confident that the night ahead would be challenging yes, but completely manageable. As he was heading into his office he popped into the kitchen to check how everything was proceeding for the evening ahead. He could see Callum in the corner of the kitchen with the young pot-washer Keegan. Keegan was a new face to Ben, brother to his sister's fiancé Keanu, but he seemed to have a few more brain cells than his older brother which was refreshing. Keanu had been Ben's 'replacement' when he finished working for his father and he knew his sister worried that he was getting deeper and deeper in the criminal underbelly thanks to their father. He had attempted on occasion to talk to Keanu and try to make him see some sense but the dolt kept getting the impression Ben was flirting with him so he gave up eventually happy in the knowledge that he at least tried. Currently his sister was visiting her mum in Spain but she was expected back soon and he couldn't wait for her to see his new venture.

He moved closer to see what the two men were deep in conversation about. 'Ok Keegan mate, take the clean tea towel in your hand and hold the oyster firmly. Alright great, take the oyster knife with your other hand and place the tip at base of the hinge ... ok good. Alright mate twist into that hinge there with a bit of pressure, good .. right begin to lever, not too much pressure ... alright great. Ok bring the knife around the top lightly to release the shell. Fantastic job Keegan!' Ben looked on impressed at the guidance Callum was providing to the young pot washer. Keegan looked proud as punch with himself. 'Thanks chef, I've always wanted to have a go at this.' 'Not a problem mate, now do you think you could shuck twenty more for me.' Keegan stood open-mouthed, 'Wow really, thanks Callum. I won't let you down.' Callum left Keegan to get on with the job and moved over to Honey, 'Pastry looks good for the tartlets Hon. Ok let me taste some of that ice-cream.' He grabbed a spoon and took a sample from the ice cream maker. Ben was rapt as Callum delicately licked the spoon while closing his eyes, 'Hmmm this is delicious Hon, just the right amount of vanilla.' 'Thanks Callum, I'm just going to pop in the pastry cases in to bake now, everything looks like it's on time.' Ben was impressed with how Callum seemed to reassure the kitchen and instil a quiet confidence into everyone around him.

Ben jumped as Tubbs came up up behind him and slapped him on the back, 'Alright boss checking up on us riff-raff are ya now.' He laughed at his own joke as he returned to his work station kneading what seemed to look like endless amounts of dough for loaves of bread. Callum looked up and spotted Ben, beckoning him over to him.' Come here Ben and try this ice cream, it's delicious.' 

'Ah it's alright Cal, you'll be rolling me out of here the way you've been feeding me,' he joked. 'Ah come on, you can't deprive yourself of some ice cream. I eat the stuff all year round me.' Ben let out a small breathy chuckle and moved closer to his head chef. As he neared, Callum grabbed a clean spoon from the station and heaped up a big scoop of ice cream. 'Here let me,' he held the spoon out for Ben to take a taste. 'What do you think?' The ice cream was indeed delicious, the perfect balance of vanilla. 'Hmmm that is so good Hon, thanks for letting me have a taste,' Ben nodded towards to Honey who looked delighted. He was about to leg it out of the kitchen before his crimson face melted all the confectionary but Callum grabbed his arm. 'Wait Ben ... there's just a little cream around your lips ... let me.' Ben could feel his cheeks begin to colour as Callum softly traced the pad of his thumb across his bottom lip. 'There that's better.'

'Ahem thanks Cal ... uhm ... ok I better head to the office so, best of luck everyone,' Ben slowly dragged himself away from the kitchen. As he took one last glimpse before he opened his office door he thought he could almost make out Callum sucking on the tip of his thumb lightly. By the time he sat down on his office chair he had convinced himself that it was just his over active imagination which seemed to have gone into overdrive lately and he mentally tried to give himself a cold shower. To distract himself from the tall chef in the other room he caught up with some accounts and printed out the menus for the evening. He checked his phone messages and saw a text from Liam - _Best of luck for tonight darling. I'm sure that it'll be ok._ Ben feels a little guilt shiver through him. He had to admit to himself he hasn't missed Liam one little bit in the last 36 hours. It was nice having his own house to himself last night for what feels like the first time in eons so he sends a short thank you message to Liam before he forgets and returns to the rest of his jobs for the afternoon.

It was two hours to opening and Ben was helping Billy shine glasses at the bar, preparing all the cocktail shakers and ensuring that enough lemons and limes were sliced. In this spot he couldn't help but overhear the various conversations of the waiting staff. 'The new head chef's a bit of all alright,' Whitney whispered to Chantelle and Tiffany. Instantly Ben's interests were piqued. 'Thought you might have met him before Whit, wasn't he good mates with your ex Lee.' Whitney blushed, she always seemed to be unlucky in love but she never seemed to give up hope, 'When I was with Lee, Callum was still deployed in Afghanistan or somefink so I never got to meet him. Lee did used to talk about him a lot though. He talked about all the scrapes they used to get into when they were younger and stuff. He always said he was super sweet despite all the stuff they used to get up to. Really kind and a bit sensitive underneath it all. I think he's staying with Mick and Linda. I must pop over some time to visit the Carters.' She giggled along with Chantelle. Ben could feel himself begin to lose his cool 'Eh stop gossiping Whit and get a wriggle on will you, those napkins aren't going to fold themselves'. 'Woah ok Ben, don't get your knickers in a twist'. Whitney hurriedly got back to work, while Chantelle peered quizzically at Ben for his sudden, uncalled for, outburst. 'Shit, sorry Whit, just nervous about tonight is all.' The brunette just nodded and smiled, 'It's alright Ben. Look it's going to go great, we'll make sure front of house runs as smoothly as possible.' 

Ben decided to gather all his staff for a last minute pep talk. 'Alright everyone best of luck tonight. We've got some bigwigs coming in tonight. My mum for one! Also we have a guy from the local paper so lets make sure his meal and service is spot on. We've got a free glass of bubbly for all the customers tonight so make sure once they are comfortably seated you ask them if they would like a complementary glass. It's the first night everyone so I expect there will be some teething problems but any issues please keep me in the loop.' It was fifteen minutes until the door was due to open and Ben felt like he was going to explode with nervousness. He stood at the bar gripping the edge trying to calm himself down. Suddenly he felt an arm around his shoulder and the warmth of the body of his new head chef. 'Could feel your nerves all the way from the kitchen' Callum quipped. Ben grinned faintly feeling the tension escape his body. 'Can't believe the night is finally here Cal. I'm just worried that no one will turn up.'

Callum grinned down at Ben and squeezed his shoulders lightly, 'They'll be here. Your family will be here anyway so at least that's a couple of customers,' he giggled. Ben playfully swatted at his arm, 'Oi cheeky!' The chef jumped back to dodge the onslaught and winked, with two eyes, 'Made you calm down though didn't I'. Ben watched as he made his way back to the kitchen, aware that he was staring at the confident little swagger that just emphasised the peachy ass of its owner. 'Phew!' Out of the corner of his eye he could just make out Chantelle peering at him inquisitively. 'Eh what's that all about then Benjamin? Do I need to talk to hr?' Ben could feel his face go scarlet. 'Oh my god, you were totally checking him out. I was just joking before! This is too good.' Ben could feel himself begin to panic 'Please Chantelle, don't say anything. It's just a crush I'm sure. It'll go away. I think it's because myself and Liam are going through a bad patch you know.' Chantelle leaned over the bar and took Ben's hands in her own. 'You know Liam's always reminded me a little of my ex-husband. Not just the job before you get cheeky with me. They have a few other character traits in common. So of course I won't say anything love alright but I will leave you with this ok. I think this bad patch with Liam is not just a bad patch, I think this might be you slowly discovering that you deserve better.'

The night has gone smoothly so far, a few hiccups here and there but Ben feels on top of the world. At around nine things are hopping and the customers all seem to be having a great night. There's laughter and conversations are flowing. Most of all the compliments about the food are flying into the kitchen. His mum, mother of his child Lola and her boyfriend, his best mate/brother Jay, are all sitting together. Ben pops over to check how they are faring. 'Sorry that I haven't had time to check with you guys yet. What do you think?' Kathy stands up, wobbles a bit because she has been hitting the champagne hard, and envelops her son in a massive hug. 'Ben, love, this place is fantastic. Please can you go get your new chef so we can thank his personally. The food, oh love the food is out of this world. I'm so impressed.' 

'Sure I'll see if he's free.' Ben makes his way to the kitchen. Service is calming down a bit and Ben can make out the banter that's already developed between the brigade in the kitchen. 'Alright Hon, these soufflés look amazing. Service please! Two pistachio soufflés! Quick Whit and careful alright, we don't want them to drop. Oh hey Ben how is everything going out front'. Callum throws a towel over his shoulder and drags his fingers through his gelled hair. 'I'd say we've smashed it mate. Tips are flying in and everyone sends compliments to the chef including my mum. She'd love it if she could thank you personally if that's alright.' Callum leans over the pass and smiles at Ben. There's a sheen of perspiration on his brow and barely a stain on his apron. Right now to Ben he looks like he's straight out of a food magazine. The heat of the kitchen has flattened his quiff but he still looks incredibly handsome. 'Sure just let me finish up the last couple of orders. I'll bring out some coffees and some petit fours to the table in around twenty minutes. That good for you? Can't wait to meet your mum.' Ben looks down at his feet and grins shyly. 'Thanks Cal.'

As he heads back to the restaurant floor he notices that Liam has joined his family and he feels his stomach drop. From the back of the restaurant where they can't notice him, he sees that his family look uncomfortable in Liam's company. Lola and Jay visibly shrink from his presence and the look of distaste on his mum's face is evident. Yet again he questions how he could have been so blind to the obvious. 'Oh hi Liam, I thought you were going to be at those talks you mentioned yesterday.' Ben wasn't surprised to see Liam, he had a tendency to say he was going to give Ben some space but then turning up unannounced. 

'Oh Benny how has your little opening gone?' Out of the side of his eye he can see how Lola sneers at Liam's pet name for him. It's another one of the habits of Liam that he dislikes, he has never liked being called Benny and Liam is the only person that seems to call him this particular nickname. On cue Callum appears with the petit fours. 'Alright you must be Ben's family, Mrs Beale and Mr Beale, it's a pleasure to meet you both, my name's Callum Highway'. Lola basically spurts her drink out, Jay slapping her back and Kathy failing to hide her tittering face behind her napkin. Ben blushes and feels Liam bristle beside him. Callum stands awkwardly waiting for someone to fill him in on his mistake. 'Eh no Cal this is my... uhm, my boyfriend Liam,' Ben gestures meekly hoping Liam won't kick off. 'Oops sorry about that, bit of a social faux pas right there. Well it's nice to meet you all and I've hoped you all enjoyed the food. I have some macaroons and other goodies here if you all have room for more food.' Kathy stands up Callum places the dishes down on the table and takes his hands in hers. 'Callum I just want to thank you for what has been the best meal of my life. Truly amazing, I can't wait to see what you two get up to with this place. I think you'll make an amazing team. Plus Lola, Jay don't ya think they just look so great together, so photogenic, I'll bet all the papers will have you on the front page of the food sections.' Lola and Jay begin to agree with Kathy wholeheartedly and Callum looks delighted and completely enamoured with his family. He sits right beside his mum and they all launch into conversation like they're lifelong friends, Callum with his arm placed right behind his mum's chair. Ben cannot help the look of pure happiness on his face as he surveys the scene. Beside him Liam looks like he's chewing a wasp. Callum looks over at Ben and visibly recoils at the look of pure venom Liam is sending his way. 'Well it was so nice meeting all of you and I can't wait to meet you all again, soon I hope, but I better get back and help the brigade clean the kitchen.' 'Aww that's a shame love,' sighs Kathy.

As Callum leaves she leans over to Jay and Lola to whisper, 'He's very handsome isn't he.' On the other side of the table Ben is trying to engage Liam in conversation so neither are able to make out their whisperings. 'I wish Ben was with someone like Callum. Someone who was ... well. ... someone who just a bit nicer. I've never been able to warm to Liam at all and I don't like the way he controls Ben.' Lola nods in agreement, 'Lexi hates him. She's hardly staying at her dad's anymore and I know it hurts Ben's feelings but I kinda don't blame her. She says he's always saying snide little things to her; makes fun of her dancing. I mean who does that to a child.' Jay throws daggers to the other side of the table, 'Look guys I don't think he'll be much of a problem soon. I think Ben is beginning to realise what a total tosser Liam is. Wish he realised it three years ago but better late than never right.' 

All three co-conspirators looked at the two men across the table, Liam splayed arrogantly across the chair taking up the room of three people and Ben sitting uncomfortably looking like he wanted to leg it as soon as possible. Liam started to pick at the macaroons, taking each in his thick fingers one by one inspecting the surface microscopically. 'Eh Liam, could you not touch all the pastries with your grubby hands,' Lola exclaimed pulling the plate from the middle of the table and managing to save a couple of untainted treats for the rest of the table. Liam sneered at her and threw one macaroon into his mouth ungracefully. 'Not very nice are they? Very dry and bland. Cheap tasting. Did your chef purchase these from a cheap supermarket Benny?' Ben felt his temper fray and he stood up swiftly, 'Don't be such a dipshit Liam. You know they taste divine. Sometimes you can be a right div.' Ben strutted away before Liam could call him immature or berate him in any other way. He could hear Lola mutter, 'Yay Ben' as he made his way to his office. 

It was nearing eleven and the restaurant had wound down. He finished all the admin in the office and helped Chantelle cash up. His family and Liam were still sitting down near the front of the restaurant but all the other customers had left for the evening. Ben motioned to Chantelle and glanced at the bottles of champagne his mum had brought in as a gift for everyone earlier. 'Think we all deserve one now don't we. Go grab the guys from the kitchen and I'll sort out the glasses, thanks Chantelle.' Chantelle had very quickly grabbed all the troops who now stood around the bar. 

'Well everyone I just want to thank you making tonight a success. It couldn't have gone better really thanks to you lot', Ben smiled and raised his champagne flute to his staff. 'And I just want to thank my family, especially mum for the champagne of course and also just ya know believing in me.' Ben ducked his head and grinned at his mum. 'But I think everyone will agree with me that the absolute stars of the night were the kitchen.' Everyone raised their glasses and nodded towards the chefs in. admiration. While toasting the kitchen, Ben made eye contact with Callum and mouthed the words 'thank you'. In return Callum scrunched his nose, raised his glass in return and smiled shyly. The exchange went unnoticed by the everyone else in the room, well almost everyone else. Liam stood behind Ben's family looking the picture of congeniality, but he dug bloody half-moons into his palms, directing every piece of his rage in his body towards his hands.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chez Benjamin staff night out ...

The next couple of nights went smoothly for the restaurant. On Friday morning Ben grabbed the local paper and went straight to the restaurant. The review from opening night was out and he wanted to read it to all his staff when they got in. ' _Everyone in the restaurant world knows that the name Beale is synonymous with large restaurants which turnover big profits but mostly lack any real identity or character. However the newest venture under the watchful eye of younger brother Ben Mitchell is an antithesis to this trend. The food is out of this world and Chez Benjamin has found in Callum Highway, the hottest new chef in the east end. This chef is definitely one to watch and I would not be surprised if we see his name pop up on chef of the year lists when December rolls around. The food is bold and the surroundings are luxurious without feeling overly decadent. I cannot wait to see what this new dream team of Mitchell and Highway bring to the culinary world in the next few years_ '. Ben feels like he's floating on air and there's a huge cheer from the assembled staff in front of him. 'Can't believe we managed this on our first review guys. I'm so proud of everyone in this room.' 

Friday evening rolled around in a flash and as it neared eight o'clock Ben began to wonder whether his boyfriend Liam would turn up for their date night. It was just so typical of Liam to think that a date in his boyfriend's own restaurant could be considered romantic and special. As he sits and waits, he thinks back to the early days, just after Liam had gotten him off the money laundering charge. Liam had brought him on a really expensive sun holiday to Miami. It was amazing and Liam and been so attentive the whole trip, picking out all their activities, buying Ben clothes he thought he might look good in and showing him off in all the best nightclubs. Without the rose tinted glasses Ben can finally see how this couldn't be truly called romantic, in fact it smacked of the controlling behaviour that seemed to be part and parcel of his current relationship with Liam. The arrival of his boyfriend sauntering through the front door of the restaurant broke him from his reverie and as he glanced at his watch he noticed it was 8.45. 'Thought we were having dinner at eight?' Ben questioned Liam as he sat down. 'Sorry darling I was in an important meeting with your ... eh ... father and it ran slightly .... over shall we say.' Ben hadn't seen his dad Phil in few weeks and there was a curious side to him that wondered what scheme he was involved in now. 'What has he done then my dear dad?' 

Liam begins to chuckle, 'Ah my dear Ben. I can't break client confidentiality rules even if he is your dear dad as you say. Let's just say Phil was caught doing some creative accounting .... again.' He arches his eyebrows at Ben alluding not too subtly at Ben's past indiscretions. 'Right let's see what the big deal is about the food here than shall I. I'm absolutely famished. Here waitress bring us some glasses of Moet please.' He clicked his fingers at the young waitress Tiffany who looked down on him with a disgusted sneer. 'Right away sir,' she snarked back at him. Ben leaned on his hand already exhausted by Liam's company, 'You'll have to pay for the drinks Liam ok, I can't afford to be giving out freebies of the top shelf alcohol.' Liam huffed and threw his eyes up to heaven, 'Oh course Benny darling, what did you take me for? I'll pay for our whole meal to celebrate your first successful week running a business. Who would have thought it? Ben Mitchell, successful .. legitimate ... businessman.' 

The rest of the meal was almost pleasant. Liam couldn't find fault with the food and even he had to admit that it was really special. It was nearing twelve and the kitchen had closed for the evening. Both Liam and Ben had consumed the guts of two bottles of wine and were sitting languidly at the front of the restaurant. Ben had momentarily forgotten the issues in their relationship and was cuddled in close to his boyfriend. It was at moments like this when the conversation stopped and they sat in silence that Ben liked the security of their relationship. He loved being held, it made him feel protected and safe, something he lacked in his childhood with a distant father and a mother who at the time was presumed dead. This was the part of being in a couple that he didn't want to lose, maybe it was this that made him stay with Liam, despite all their issues. Liam held him tight and ran his fingers through his hair and Ben could feel himself being lulled into a half sleep. Suddenly the gang from the kitchen barrelled through the restaurant. Ben sat up quickly and tried to look a bit more professional. 'Alright everyone that was great tonight by the way.' He smiled at the crew and couldn't help but notice Callum looked a bit annoyed. Liam jumped up and was all charm and lightness, 'Let me shake your hands for a great meal.' He shook everyone's hand enthusiastically but when it came to Callum he looked him up and down gratuitously. 'Sorry we didn't get a full proper introduction the other day my dear Callum. You caught me at a difficult time the other evening, I'd just finished up a brutal case that I finally can talk about now that it has finished. It was truly horrific .... involving a former soldier in a private security firm in Afghanistan. Ah look I shouldn't ... wouldn't want to put a dampener on such a wonderful evening.' Ben looked at Callum who he was sure was going paler by the second, 'Uhm ... lovely to meet you properly Liam. Thank you for your wonderful comments. I'd better go, promised Mick I'd have a drink with him before the night was out.' Ben watched as the tall chef hightailed it out of the restaurant and across the square. 'Right darling let's go home, I can't wait to get you upstairs,' Liam leered at Ben. Ben in his inebriated state was easily persuaded to go home with Liam and spend the night together.

On Saturday morning, Ben awoke with a huge crushing sense of guilt. It was times like this that he wished he was stronger, that he would not succumb to the desire to be held, to be loved, even if that love was less than it should be. He also wished the sex with Liam wasn't so good. It always made him so weak to his advances. But last night he could not help himself, not with that much alcohol in his system to make him more pliable. He also couldn't help picture a certain tall handsome chef at key moments during their union last night. It definitely doesn't help him feel less guilty this morning as he tip toes yet again out of his own bedroom.

It was nine as it entered the restaurant and the kitchen was already abuzz in preparation for lunch time service. Billy and Honey were sat at the end of the bar grabbing a quick breakfast together and catching up on their children's activities for the weekend. 'Alright Ben, how's the head this morning'. Ben just nodded to Billy and Honey and legged it to his office, embarrassed about the previous evening. He shouldn't have let Liam get that second bottle! He managed to spend the majority of the morning holed up in his office braving the restaurant just to grab the occasional cup of coffee. It was nearing 11.30 when he heard a soft knock on the door. It was Callum, 'Hey how's the head, here I brought you some fruit and yoghurt ... might be a bit better than the coffee you've been mainlining this morning.' Ben looked up, feeling guilty about his thoughts the previous night, and also for being so unprofessional in his own restaurant. 'Thanks Cal, you're a saviour. Look about last night ... I wasn't on the ball. Instead of helping out I was too busy trying to placate my boyfriend. It won't happen again alright. It's not fair on everyone else. It shouldn't be one rule for me and another for everyone else.' Callum took a big breath, 'I was a bit worried to tell you the truth but look I trust you. This is your place Ben and we all want it to be successful. We're a team. Your boyfriend is a bit of a .... character.'

'I'm sorry if he was a bit much the other night. He's a bit possessive I suppose ... ehhh .... of my time you know. We don't get to spend as much time together anymore and ... oh ... forget I said anything, you shouldn't have to hear about my relationship problems.' Ben wished for the ground to swallow him whole, why oh why, did he reveal so much to this new chef. It was like Callum had this truth serum and he couldn't help but reveal every part of himself to this tall man. 'Look Ben let's just forget about it. I won't hold it against you.' Before he could censor himself Ben couldn't help but utter, 'Ah shame'. Callum blushed the cutest shade of pink and looked down at the floor and damn if that didn't increase his attractiveness to Ben. The room was filled with an air of want until the atmosphere was pierced by a small timid knock on the door. 'Daddy ... Daddy ... are you there?' Callum quirked an eyebrow at Ben and mouthed quizzically _Daddy?_

'That would be my beautiful daughter Lexi, a result of me trying to prove to my homophobic dad that I was straight back in my youthful days. And possibly the greatest thing that has ever happened to me so far in my life. I'd love it if I could introduce you both to each other if that's alright?' The chef smiled delightedly, 'Of course I'd be honoured. Tell you what let's all go into the kitchen and we'll rustle something up together ... maybe some waffles and ice cream? Do you think she's like that?' Ben chuckled, 'Forget about Lexi, that sounds right up my street Cal.' They both laughed and opened the door to an excited seven year old. 'Hello Lexi, I'm Callum the new chef. Your dad said you were a brilliant cook. Would you like to help me make some waffles and ice cream in the kitchen?' Lexi stood open-mouthed and the tall man who had just made her dreams come through. 'Yes please,' she squealed with glee, 'Can I have sprinkles as well?' Ben bent down and swung his daughter up onto his hip, 'Of course princess, and I'm gonna help out as well, if that's alright with you and Callum?' Lexi pouted and pretended to mull it over, 'Oh ok dad, but you have to follow our instructions alright.' 

The trio spent the next thirty minutes making a fabulous confection fit for a unicorn princess apparently and Ben could see his daughter loved the company of his new head chef. After they were finished she took her dessert over to where Lola was having lunch with Jay and sat down happily, content with her creation, and regaling her mum and Jay with stories of how Callum was the most amazing chef in the whole world. Ben helped Callum clean down all the surfaces, impressed with how gentle and kind the chef had been with his daughter and how he had taken so much time out from his day to show her how to make such a delicious dessert. 'That was so kind of you Cal. You didn't have to do that but she really appreciated your time.' The chef shrugged his shoulders and beamed at Ben, 'She's a delight Ben so it was no trouble at all. She's very like you .... cheeky but really sweet as well.' It was Ben's turn to turn pink and look down at his shoes. Before he could think of a suitable flirty retort Keegan dropped the largest metal roasting pan he'd ever seen destroying the intimate moment they had just shared. 'Right back to it I suppose,' and with that Callum was back running the kitchen with military precision yet again.

As the weeks progressed the restaurant got busier and busier. Word of mouth travelled and the reviews were all positive. During this time Ben saw less and less of Liam which helped to cement some decisions in Ben's head. He had come to the conclusion that he had most definitely fallen out of love with Liam and was just waiting for the right time to end the relationship. Unusually for Liam, he seemed to be avoiding Ben, apparently because he was working on a some big case that required him to be in the office almost twenty four hours a day. Ben compensated by working flat out in the restaurant helping Callum develop the tasting menu that they were hoping to showcase in a couple of months time during a Walford Food Festival. Ben was instrumental in organising the festival and he was hoping that it would really pay dividends for Chez Benjamin if it was a success. It also helped that while the tasting menu was being developed he got to spend even more time with Callum and if there was a little flirt here and there, sure what was the harm. 

By the end of the month Ben decided that all the staff needed a night out to celebrate in order to recharge the batteries and vent any issues. It was a Sunday and the restaurant closed Mondays so it suited everyone to head out for the night, safe in the knowledge that they could all sleep off their hangovers the next day. Before he headed into work he stood in front of his wardrobe worried about what he would wear later that evening. Ben was always a sharp dresser and normally effortlessly put together outfits but he had to pick something to change into for later. He chuckled to himself at his indecision, finally deciding on a wine polo and black tight jeans. 

The night began with a couple of drinks in the local, the Vic, after they had finished up with last orders in the restaurant. They had managed to finish early, unusually for a restaurant, but Ben had fixed it during the week that he took no reservations for after eight as he thought his staff needed a night to fully recharge their batteries after a busy couple of months. They had time for a drink or two before they moved onto a club to finish off the night. As they entered the bar they all grouped together at one table and Ben went to get all the drinks. It had been a while since he'd been in the Vic. As he looked across the bar he locked eyes with his old man. They both nodded at each other and to an outsider they may have seemed like acquaintances rather than father and son. 'Alright lads and lasses, what are you all having,' Mick the owner of the Vic shouted out to them. 'On the house, son,' he said to Ben as he went to hand over his bank card, 'You've been sending a lot of punters my way, so thanks for that. Tell you what you're new place is definitely good for the area. We are getting a lot of them foodies in here because of you. Not afraid to spend are they?' Ben nodded his thanks to Mick, 'Not a problem at all mate. Although should be thanking you apparently. Your mate Callum has been the making of Chez Benjamin. I don't know where I'd be without him.' He takes a sip of his whiskey and looks for Callum in the bar. 

'He's a good lad, Halfway. It's been nice having him stay with us but he's moving out soon into the flat above Cokers. I'll miss having him about the place, he's like another son but it'll be good for him to have his own space.' 

'Oh I didn't know he got his own place. That's great. I never thought of Pam and Les' old flat. Have you heard from them recently? I was only thinking about them the other day.' Mick quickly served a couple of punters and came back to Ben to return their conversation, 'I was actually chatting to them last week believe it or not son. They've been doing well, enjoying semi-retirement. Pam is actually coming to Walford in a few weeks to catch up with accounts or somefink. She said she'll pop in. You and her Paul were close weren't ya?' Ben nods, thinking how he can bring this up with Jay to find out the exact date of her arrival. Maybe he'll be finally able to clear up what she meant all those years ago at Paul's funeral. While they've been chatting his staff have been getting merrier, a sure sign that they'll shortly be moving on to the club. He notices that his head chef has become quite merrily drunk, his slightly rosy cheeks and glassy eyes a giveaway. Callum and Tubbs are having the worse games of darts that he has ever seen, half the darts are hitting the upholstery of the Vics chairs. 'Oi! Halfwit! You get one more dart in that upholstery and you'll wake up with one rammed up your ....' 

'Mother! Leave Halfway alone, it's his last night staying with us. I think that might be worth the odd puncture to the furniture.' Shirley slopes off muttering and throwing daggers at Callum who looks meekly at Mick from behind Tubbs. 'Sorry Mick, got a bit carried away.' Ben sits in a corner away from everyone surveying the festivities around him. He's amused seeing this side of Callum, being chastised and sparring with Mick and Shirley. It further outlines the charming dichotomy of Callum Highway and makes Ben want to find out more about the elusive chef. From this vantage point he can make out all the little intrigues that are playing out among his staff; Billy and Honey are loved up again after a tough period where Billy nearly sabotaged his own marriage, Keegan and Tiffany are snogging the face off each other in the corner, his nephew Bobby is sitting drinking an orange juice amused by the drunken antics of everyone else and Tubbs is unsuccessfully trying to flirt with Chantelle who is artfully rejecting his advances. To his chagrin, Whitney is spending most of her time flirting with Callum, with artful hair flicks and softly touching his arm. Callum is being polite and is friendly chatting with her but to Ben's eyes it looks like he is indifferent to her attempts at flirtation. At least deep down that’s what Ben hopes.

'Alright son, heard your new place is going well.' Unbeknownst to him, Ben's father had sidled up beside him at the bar while he had been busy checking out his staff's antics. 'Oh hello dad, Liam fill you in the other night did he when he getting you off another charge?' Phil looked at him confused, 'I haven't chatted to your bloke in a while now son. He stopped returning my calls a few weeks back and when I tried his office, they said he didn't work there anymore.' Before Ben could question his father anymore Billy and Honey appeared and started to chat to Phil about a family dinner. He took the opportunity to move away closer to Callum and the others at the table and made a mental note to himself to find out who was telling the truth at a later point.

Later they decided to take the party to Ben's mum's new gay bar a short walk away in the Square. Suddenly it seemed to Ben, that Callum was a little reticent all of a sudden despite his joviality in the Vic. It was like a cloud had appeared over his head. Ben could see him nervously bite his lower lip as they neared the entrance of the Prince Albert. As they reached the bar Ben saw that his mum Kathy had already paid for a round of shots for everyone which Tina proceeded to lay out on the bar in front of everyone. When Ben glanced at Callum he noticed that he seemed to be back to himself but felt the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head when he saw Whitney had her arms around his waist, even if it did seem she was only doing so because she already had one too many and needed physical support. Ben began to rub his stubble in annoyance at the ease that Whitney could just wrap her arms around the tall chef and how Callum didn't seem to mind the intrusion. When he looked up he noticed Chantelle regarding him knowingly, so he shook the bad thoughts from his brain and bought a round of shots at the bar, 'Here Whit get a couple of these into you.' 

As the night went on, everyone was getting drunker and drunker. Finally Ben found himself sitting beside Callum. It seemed like they hadn't been talking to each other for the entire night so Ben broke the ice by bringing up Callum's relationship with the Carters, 'So yourself and Mick seem really close. I heard Chantelle say the other day that you were mates with his son Lee?' Callum drunkenly smiled and leaned in closer to Ben so they could hear each other over the load music. 'Yeah myself and Lee are great mates. Joined the army together, hung around when we was younger and I suppose Mick and Linda have always been like surrogate parents to me.' Ben could feel Callum's thighs brush against his own. He froze to the spot not wanting to chance removing himself from such close contact with the taller man. While they chatted Ben could feel himself being charmed yet again by how Callum became so animated when he talked about his passions; food, the Carters and a brother he briefly mentioned called Stuart, who could get himself into some scrapes it seemed, but was currently sorting himself out in a rehab clinic. 'I was pretty much raised by my grandfather but my bruv was friends with Mick so I suppose that's how I came to know Lee and the rest. My brother tried his best you know, but my mum left when I was really young and well my dad ... my dad ... well my dad was an alcoholic.' Ben smiled gently at Callum and put his hand on the his knee consolingly. Callum looked at Ben's hand on his knee and bit his bottom lip slightly. Ben noticed the small gesture and offered one of his own, a quick smile. 'Same ... my dad ... he was an alcoholic too. Only thing that seemed to stop him was his liver packing it in. He's got a brand new one now. But that was the only thing that stopped him ... not me ... not my sister. So I know what it's like.' Both men felt their bond grow, a further understanding developing between, deepening the connection that was undeniable. To an outsider they would look at this moment like any young couple in love, sitting closely, one man's hand unconsciously drawing circles on the other man's knee as he revealed his innermost secrets.

The bubble was burst as Chantelle came upon them and grabbed them both by their hands, 'Right lads it's time to dance! You're both looking way too serious here. Let's go, everyone is on the dance floor.' For the next half hour the dance floor was dominated by Ben and his staff but as they danced, Whitney was beginning to loose the run of herself and finally had to be brought home by Chantelle. Bobby had left earlier in night along with Billy and Honey. 

As the group thinned everyone else went to the bar but Ben and Callum remained dancing. 'I Feel Love' by Donna Summer came on. Ben and Callum began to find themselves dancing closer together, wrapped up in the rhythm of the music. Ben raised his arms slowly in the arm writhing in time with the beat, his eyes closed feeling the music travel through his bones. Suddenly he felt Callum's hand be placed tentatively on his hip. At the action his eyes shot open and a shy grin adorned his face. Gently he mirrored Callum's action and placed his hand firmly on the other man's waist, savouring the feel of the warm taunt skin beneath his fingers. They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, each caught in the other's blue eyes. Ben's hand travelled slowly to Callum's ass and this action moved them closer together, both hypnotically swaying to the music. Callum licked his lips while he stared at him and Ben is transfixed, wondering how soft Callum's lips are, how his tongue would feel against his. Soon they are practically grinding up against each other in time to the music. Callum is gripping onto Ben's ass, kneading the firm muscle beneath with his large hand. He begins to wonder what other skills these large Highway hands can master and starts to feel his body respond to the idea. As his excitement grows Ben can feel Callum's match his own, the unmistakable large bulge growing in the other man's jeans. Ben can feel his eyes grow wide, seriously impressed with the package that is tented beneath the tight black jean fabric. Both men a mere centimetres away from kissing, a mere breath away from succumbing to their desires. Ben can feel the hairs on his neck stand to attention ... and they're not the only bodily appendages saluting the tall chef writhing against him.

The moment is ruined by the appearance of Liam, an proverbial ice bucket being thrown over both men's desires.Callum physically distances himself from Ben like he's been stung by a scorpion and legs it to the bar to join Tubbs and Keegan who have been oblivious to the action that was unfurling on the dance floor. Ben hopes that Liam hasn't seen what happened between himself and Callum. They had only been dancing but it had been so intimate, the most sensual experience that he has felt in his short life. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Callum grab his coat and leave the club. A very big part of him wants to run after him, to hold him, to kiss him .... but he turns to Liam and plants a smile on his face desperately trying to hide his disappointment. 'Good night dear?' he questions. Ben just nods, 'Yeah, I'm wrecked though, think I'm gonna call it a night.' As they leave the Prince Albert, Ben walking in front and Liam following, Ben doesn't notice Liam's tensely set jawline and narrowed eyes. When they hit the cool air of the square, Ben feels himself begin to sober up. As he drinks in the night air Liam roughly grabs him arm. 'Oops sorry darling don't know my own strength sometimes.' Ben eyes him warily, surprised at his sudden reaction and fears that Liam has seen more than he is making out. 'Come let us get to our bed and get some shut eye.' He just follows the older man, too exhausted to argue, too preoccupied with other thoughts to say that he would prefer to go home alone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The break-up. Finally :)

The next day Ben wakes up with Liam curled up in bed beside him. He feels the ghost of the dream from the previous night's slumber - glimpses of Callum's large hands caressing his body, his hot breath against his neck and the taste of his lips against his own. Ben tried to arrange himself and dowse himself mentally with ice to control the rock hard erection he was now sporting. If Liam wasn't asleep beside him he would take his cock in hand and stroke himself to the memory of the heady dream and the reality of the previous night's dance. Instead he looks guiltily at his snoring boyfriend and quashes the desire to fantasise about his hot head chef. He was too tired and drunk the night before to think of an excuse for Liam not to come home with him. Luckily Ben fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow and there were no fumblings in the night to add fuel to his guilt. Today he decides is the day that he will break up with Liam. It's not only because he fancies Callum, he thinks this break-up would have happened eventually, but it's just that Callum's appearance in his life has made him realise what he has been missing, he’s been a catalyst for necessary change. Ben tries to gently wake Liam but he won't stir no matter how hard Ben tries to encourage him. He's tempted to throw the glass of water from the nightstand on top of him but decides against such a rash action. Giving up he heads down to the kitchen and prepares a simple breakfast of some toast and jam, waiting impatiently for his hopefully soon to be ex-boyfriend to awaken.

As he finishes his breakfast, still waiting for Liam to get up, he comes up with an ironclad plan. He feels strong and determined but Liam has a habit of manipulating Ben and he is sure that he will try to persuade Ben not to break up with him. As he hears the first sound of movement from upstairs he texts Lola and asks her to come around with Lexi in forty minutes, explaining exactly what he is about to do. He gets a text back from her in record time - _You can count on us. Go Team Ben! So proud of you. We'll stick by you no matter what._

He smiles at the message, feeling the support from his family from afar. 'Alright Benny, you're up early. Please tell me you're not heading into work already darling, it should be your day off. I was hoping we could have a couple of hours together in bed. We didn't get to do anything last night, you were disgustingly wasted.' Ben rubs his face with both his hands and lets out a sigh. He steels himself - _It's now or never_. 'Liam, sorry but I think it's time we broke up. I don't think this relationship is working anymore for both if us. I know we'd be happier apart.'

The older man looked up confusedly at Ben, lightly gripping the edge of the kitchen table, 'Then we should see a counsellor, I'll make an appointment straight away today. I've got a couple of contacts through work for someone that would suit us perfectly. You'll get through this bump darling, it's just the stress of work. You're not used to working so hard. It's all so new to you.' Ben huffed out a sigh of frustration. He knew this wasn't going to be easy, it never is when ending a relationship, but he had hoped that Liam wouldn't bring out the counsellor card. Liam continued oblivious to the frustrations of Ben before him, 'If we spent more time together... I'll pull back a little from work, although that would be very difficult as I've so many important cases on at moment, obviously including your father's. So maybe if you cut down on the hours in Chez Benjamin. I've just noticed such a change in you since you opened that little place. You've not been yourself have you darling? That head chef of yours, Colin isn't it, he seems like he's gagging to take over. You could take more of a non administrative role. Just be the pretty face of the venture and take all the glory without any of the elbow grease. Yes that Col, that's the little nickname you have for him isn't it, he'd jump at the chance. Such a elevated opinion of himself hasn't he .... tries to come off as holier than though ... bit of a hypocrite.' The last part of Liam's ramblings are almost a whisper and Ben has to strain to make out the gist of what he's getting at. He shakes his head in confusion but decides not to bring Callum further into this - knowing deep down inside that would be tinder to the flame.

Ben let out a light chuckle and shook his head at the absurdity of Liams statements about his work and restaurant. 'Actually Liam work isn't stressful at all. It's been amazing. I've finally found something that I'm great at, and I think the reviews for the restaurant are all in agreement. What I am finding stressful is our relationship. The thing is Liam I don't love you anymore and there's simply no point in continuing the relationship if the love has gone. I don't want nor need to see a counsellor. I think it would be best if you left and obviously if you could give me your key back. I'll gather up any stuff that you've left here and arrange for it to be couriered to your home or office if that makes it easier for you.'

Liam just stared open-mouthed at Ben, shocked at his resolve. 'Eh but Ben. Surely we can talk this through. I'm sure if we just sit down I can convince you that you're wrong.' Ben was flabbergasted, 'Liam I'm not a jury. This isn't a courtroom. My decision is final and I had hoped you would be mature enough to accept it. If you can't then this is just more proof of why this relationship cannot work.' Liam stuttered some more, finding it increasingly difficult to manipulate Ben to his viewpoint. 'But Benny please .... please Benny .... give me more time. I know that we're meant to be.' Ben just stood stoically by the back door. 'Liam can you please stop calling me Benny, you know I hate it. Now if you don't mind, I need to get ready for a daddy daughter day.'

Suddenly the air felt thick with tension and Ben could hear Liam grip harder on the surface of the table. He was so used to getting his own way all the time that he was indignant with rage. For the first time in their entire relationship Ben was afraid of Liam. 'It is him isn't it. That fucking hotshot new chef, Callum. I saw how he was touching you the other night. I'm not stupid Ben .... I've cottoned on to you both now. Probably fucking him behind my back every chance you get.' Ben steps further back against the wall in his kitchen feeling a queasiness build in the pit of his stomach. In anger Liam has begun to thump the solid oak table and his knuckles are already cracked and bloody. 'Does he let you fuck him ... huh ... is that what this is all about?' Ben swallows his fear and looks Liam directly in the eyes hoping to hammer home his point. 'This isn't about Cal .. Callum ... I haven't slept with him ... I haven't kissed him. This is about us and the fact our relationship is over. It has been for some time now. I can't believe I have to keep telling you this Liam. I was always content with the physical side of our relationship, and yes I would have liked to do some other stuff but really that's neither here nor there. You can't base a relationship just on sex ... not when the love is gone.' It seemed like Liam wasn't going to let the Callum subject go though, 'You think he'll put up with you and your little tantrums. I should get a medal for having to put up with you for as long as I have. I could have anyone but I chose you, you ungrateful prick. The things that I've done for you, if only you realised ... if only you knew the stuff I had to help your father with ... help his associates with .... and all for you ... you absolute cretin.' Liam slowly edged his way closer to Ben who was frozen in terror. This sudden change in Liam, this unbridled rage, was entirely new to Ben. Liam had always been manipulative, scheming but Ben had never felt threatened physically ever before. He felt a cold sweat on his brow as he tried to back away from Liam but he was already trapped against the kitchen wall 'There's nothing going on between Cal and myself Liam. I've felt this way for some time now and I just couldn't ignore it. I think it might be best if you'd leave now alright. Please Liam.'

As if on cue, Lola and Lexi, came through the back door. 'Daddy are you ready to come to the park now?' Lexi cried. Ben audibly expressed a huge sigh of relief as Lola and Lexi entered the room. 'Yes baby, Liam was just leaving. I'm just going to upstairs and grab my keys. Come with me and I'll show you the new puzzle I got for you yesterday.' Ben went to go upstairs with Lexi when Liam grabbed his wrist and twisted it roughly. 'Let go of him Liam', Lola eyed him warningly with her arms crossed. Liam looked at her coldly but Lola held her ground. 'Lexi love you run upstairs to your room. I'll be there in a bit alright love.' Lexi nodded feeling the tension in the room and ran upstairs. By this time Liam's mask had been firmly rearranged, the only sign of his rage the bloody knuckles he now sported. As if by magic his voice returned to its normal soft tenor trying to lure Ben back into his grasp. 'Ben please reconsider. I love you. Deep down you know you love me too. My work has just been a bit demanding lately, I know I should have paid more attention to our relationship. We can fix this together, if you only let me.' 

Ben felt exasperated until the memory of his conversation with his father pinged like a lightbulb in his mind. 'Liam, what exactly are you working on at the moment because you see my dad hasn't been using you. You mentioned some big case being finished the other day but when my dad called your office they said that you didn't work there anymore. Thing is Liam, you've never mentioned changing firm and last week you said you were in a meeting with dad but he said otherwise. Now normally I'd disregard anything Phil says but this time he had no reason to lie. In fact he seemed quite genuine.' Liam's nostrils flared and suddenly the room felt suffocating again as if the switch had been pressed in Liam again, 'Right my darling Benny, that's really none of your concern anymore is it, if we are indeed calling time on our affair. I'll send someone for my belongings'. He shot daggers at them both and left by the back door, slamming it shut, so hard a feather like crack appeared in the tinted glass.

Ben felt his body relax and he huffed out a huge breath of relief. He closed his eyes and felt free. As he stood still against the wall he felt the warm arms of Lola embrace him, holding him close and rubbing his back consolingly. 'You were amazing Ben. I'm so proud that you stood your ground and didn't let him win. You deserve so much better.' He opened eyes and smiled gently at his friend, 'Why did I put up with him for so long? Is there something wrong with me? How ... how didn't I see him for who he is?' Ben pulled from Lola and put the kettle on. 'I'm gasping for something stronger after that but I think a coffee will have to do for now. Fancy one Lo? I think you probably need one two?' Lola pulled on his arm gently, 'You sit down, I'll look after this. Have you eaten?' Bens nods silently. 'Right look I'm gonna pop on some toast for Lex and we'll try to calm down with a nice brew.' Ben plonked himself by the kitchen table and looked at the bloody smears from where Liam bashed the table. Before he could react, Lola had them cleared up with spray and kitchen roll. 'I'm just gonna pop this up to Lex, be back in a second,' she smiled. While Lola was gone Ben picked up his phone and looked at his messages. He saw a couple from Chantelle and they brightened up his mood. They were pictures from night out and it seemed she had surreptitiously taken a picture of himself and Callum when they were having their deep and meaningful. Their heads were dipped towards each other, thighs glued together and Ben could see his hand planted firmly on Callum's knee. He started to bite his thumb remembering the feeling of being so close to his crush. In the picture they looked like lovers deep in conversation, only room for each other and no one else. He quickly sent a message back to Chantelle - _Cheekly cow! How did you manage to take this without me knowing. Good thing I love you mate_. Then he stared at the picture for a few more seconds before sending a second message - _Thanks Chantelle, I love it really!_

Lost in his daydream he didn't notice Lola come up behind him. 'Oo-er Ben! You both look very comfortable in that pic. Is that from last night? You're practically sitting in his lap!' Caught rotten. he looks up guiltily at Lola, 'Eh yeah ... things got a little bit weird last night. There was no funny business, not even a peck on the cheek, but I don't know what would have happened if Liam hadn't turned up.' Lola eyes him suspiciously, 'Did Liam ... well did he see anything? Is Callum the reason you've finally broke up with him?' Ben takes a large gulp of coffee as Lola takes here seat opposite him. 'With Liam it was getting to the point where I had to stop making excuses for his behaviour. The way he treated Lexi .. I mean that should have raised alarm bells to begin with. But it was also how he dealt with everyone really. Everyone is beneath him and nobody is right but him. I don't trust him anymore either. He's been lying to me. Says he's working with my dad and then I find out dad hasn't talked to him in weeks. I’m still trying to figure out why he would lie about his work?’

Lola took hold of his hand from across the table, ‘To keep you with him Ben, to put it plainly. He knows that you avoid talking to your dad if you can help it. He knows that his grip on you was loosening and he had to try any means to keep you on a leash. I'm so proud of you though. You deserve someone better. We all thought you and Paul would end up together a couple of years back. You were so well suited and well Paul thought the moon shone right out of your .... bum. Oh hi Lex , did you enjoy your toast.’ Lexi has barrelled into the room effectively censoring their conversation.

She jumped up in her dad’s lap and hugged him closely, ‘So Daddy about Callum, do you think he'd cook with me again? Will you ask him for me becos last time was amazing. I’d really like to make some fancy cupcakes for my friend Amy’s birthday party.’ Ben smiles contentedly at his daughter, happy that for the first time in ages she feels comfortable in his home. 

‘Now he's very busy Lexi but I'll ask him alright.’ She nods, happy with the decision and leaps from his lap to run into his adjoining room to watch cartoons. Lola beams at her daughter. ‘Nice to see her make herself at home here ain’t it.’ Ben takes his friends hands in his own and mouths a sorry. 

Lola smiles at Ben, 'It’s ok Ben, we all knew that you’d be ok in the end ... now let’s talk about Callum .... or Cal as you call him .... he seems a little bit of you doesn't he?’ Ben nearly chokes on his tea, although he should expect one of his oldest friends to be as blunt as she has always been.

He looks at the ground, trying to hide a smile and the blush creeping up his neck, 'He's pretty hot. But I should probably get over one relationship before I try to pursue another.'

Lola just raises her eyebrows 'Why wait? If it's meant to be you should just go for it. Look at me and Jay .... destiny.'

Ben looks at his friend, the mother of his child, and huffs a laugh. ‘A love for the ages eh?’ he says jokingly. She smacks his arm in mock outrage, ‘Oi you enough of the sarcasm. Just think about what I said alright. If that picture I spied is anything to go by, you look pretty good together. Plus your mum thinks he’s the bees knees and Lex is already obsessed with him.’

Ben bites his lower lip, considering his friend’s assertion. His mind wanders to Callum again and he wonders if he should go for it ... put his heart on the line for his head chef?


	6. Chapter 6

The rest of day was spent happily with Lexi and Lola. Ben had a new sense of freedom. He left his phone at home in case of any unsolicited calls from Liam and spent the day first at the park and then at the cinema with his family. He felt light, like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. At last he could enjoy his own space and not worry about what Liam was going to say all the time. Finally he could spend time with his daughter and not have Liams constant snarky comments being thrown in his face. ‘Daddy can I stay at yours tonight. We could watch a movie together and we could try to make the waffles Callum showed us.’ Lola looked delighted, 'That would be great if that's alright with your dad?' Ben felt so content, happy that his daughter wanted to stay over again. ‘Of course baby. Let’s just grab a few bits from the Minute Mart.’ They made their way across the square to the shop, Lola hugging them both goodbye. As they entered Ben spied Callum at the counter. ‘Callum! Callum!’ Lexi ran over to chef and hugged him much to the tall chef’s surprise. ‘Hello there little lady, this is a lovely surprise. You here with your mum?’ Lexi smiled up at him, ‘No I’m here with daddy. We’re gonna make your waffles and watch a movie. Do you want to come?’ 

  
Callum looked uneasy all of a sudden and Ben felt dejected at his obvious discomfort. ‘I think Callum is busy tonight Lex plus I want you all to myself little lady. Look you go grab some treats and I’ll wait here.’ Lexi ran to the sweets section carefully deciding what treats she would select. ‘Hey sorry bout that Cal. She’s just overexcited from her day out. How’s the head after last night. I’m looking forward to an early night myself.,’ Ben was cringing inwardly at the awkwardness of the conversation and his babbling. Also Callum seemed to be very jittery like he was looking for any excuse to leg it. ‘Eh yeah ... feeling a bit tender alright. Can’t remember much of the end of the night to be honest. Last bit I remember was heading into the Albert and then I woke up this morning. Bit of a mad one wasn’t it.’ Ben felt devastated, not knowing whether Callum seriously didn’t remember or whether he was just trying to brush him off. ‘Right well I better let you get off then. See you at work.’ And with that Callum was gone.

Over the next couple of weeks Ben threw himself further into his work and Lexi was spending a lot more time in his house to his joy. His life felt full again but he still questioned why he had put up with his relationship with Liam for so long. One night, with a whiskey bottle and Jay, and they seemed to get to the root of the issue. ‘Look bruv when you met Liam you were at a low ebb. You were doing so many dodgy deals for Phil, trying to prove yourself. The constant hookups with guys that never lasted a day. You were in self destruct mode mate.’ Ben nodded at the honesty of Jay's words but still how did this really explain Liam. ‘Liam came along and he saved you from going back to prison. He was your knight in shining armour. And bruv we saw you, you were instantly enamoured. Liam was everything you thought you wanted to be. He was charming. I suppose he’s pretty good looking. He was really confident, overconfident if you ask me. Your dad seemed to accept him. He ‘looked’ after you.’ Ben looks at Jay understanding this all in theory but still struggling to accept how stupid he was. Jay could see the conflict in his eyes, ‘Look mate you were twenty, and don’t be insulted by this, but you acted a lot younger than that. You’ve definitely sorted yourself out now but back then ... mate ... it was easy for Liam to charm you. Maybe if Phil was more accepting of who you truly were this never would have happened?’ Ben took another swig if whiskey and felt the veracity of his brother’s opinions wash over him.

After that late night conversation with his brother Ben felt so much better, he felt a great deal more clarity about why he had put up with his ex for so long and some, not all, of that guilt seemed to drift away. Liam eventually sent a car around for his box of belongings, a box that had been sitting gathering dust in Ben's hallway since the day of their break-up. The man driving the dark BMW looked vaguely familiar but Ben couldn't put a name to the face, no matter how hard he tried. He looked decidedly dodgy and Ben was positively sure that he met him before. ‘Alright mate, the box is over here. Sorry have we met before? Your face is really familiar.’ The lanky dark haired guy sneered at him showing a missing front tooth, ‘Nah mate. Just one of those faces ain't it. I’m just a work colleague of Liam’s. He’a just predisposed with the boss at the moment.’ Ben nodded, practically throwing the box of belongings at the wannabe tough guy and shutting the door in his face. It was a very peculiar run-in, but Ben strived to put it to the back of mind, just wanting to get on with his life.

So far Liam hadn't tried to squirm his way back into his life. No calls begging for forgiveness. No showing up on his doorstep. Ben was shocked but hugely relieved at this. He had expected to be pestered by his ex. In the meantime reviews were still glowing for his restaurant and they'd taken on new staff because it had gotten so busy. Keegan had been promoted from pot-washer to junior chef as per Callum's request and Bobby was now pot-washer. He was hoping to begin a career in the trade like Keegan seemed to have achieved and decided to work through the kitchen rather than head to his dad's culinary school. Ben felt that this was the best course of action for Bobby, despite the disagreements he had with his brother over this issue. He had spent nearly the guts of one morning on the phone with Ian, who was off galavanting at food launches as per usual, arguing that Bobby would be best placed under Callum's wings while Ian counter argued that his culinary school was the best in the country. Ben eventually won in the end thanks to some choice words from their mum, telling them both that Bobby was master of his own destiny and that ultimately it was his own choice how he wanted to pursue a career in the culinary world.

It did feel like Callum was avoiding him since the staff night out though. Things were civil but they hadn't had any conversations like they used to. It always felt like Callum made sure there was always someone else in the room with them to avoid any awkward situations. They both still needed to work together to finalise the tasting menu and arrangements for the Taste of Walford festival. Ben made his way to the kitchen, ‘Hey Callum, can we do an early morning meet up tomorrow to go through some of the tasting menu. Just want to check a few things if that’s alright.’ Callum looked up from where he was busy filleting some plaice, ‘Eh yeah sure that’ll be fine.’ He quickly went back to the fish prep and Ben slowly slumped out of the kitchen, trying to hide his devastation at the curt comment. He missed the flirty banter they had previously developed. He missed their bond which seemed to be eroding and he wasn't sure if things would ever go back to how they were. Although if he was honest with himself he wanted more than that, he wanted Callum in his entirety.  
  
The next day Ben felt his nerves build as the minutes passed. It had been so long since the men had been in the room alone together. He busied himself by making up a pot of coffee and printing off some samples for the menu font style from the graphic designer, trying desperately to distract himself. As he arranged some cups for the coffee, he could hear the front door of the restaurant open. Ben could barely hide his desolation. Callum entered the restaurant ... along with Keegan. He tried to put on a mask, to pretend that he didn't want to run to the office to cry, 'Oh hey lads, I'll just grab an extra cup. Coffee good for you both?' Keegan looked like he was on cloud nine, delighted to be included in such an important meeting, delighted that Callum obviously believed in him and was acting as his mentor. 'Thanks boss, coffee would be great.' They all sat down at one of the restaurant tables and Callum kicked off the meeting, taking out a folder stacked full of ideas. 'Rightio I suppose we should get this started, I'm sure you're up to your eyes Ben. Myself and Keegan have been working on some ideas and a lot of them seem to fit with what we want for the tasting menu. Here have a look at these.'

Callum held out an A4 sheet of paper with what looked like the guts of the tasting menu. It looked a little different to ones that himself and Ben had previously gone through together. It left out the first dishes that Callum had ever cooked for Ben, which felt like a kick in the gut to him. 'Oh ... there's eh ... a lot of changes to what we had previously looked at together ... but you're the expert so I'll leave the menu in your excellent hands.' Callum gulped audibly and Ben thought he looked suddenly very pale. He was looking down at his hands and they seemed to be shaking every so slightly. 'Look Callum this is fantastic, if we could get this all finalised by next Friday I should have plenty of time to get it to the printers. These are the samples for the font. I think the first option is the best, nice and clear and it also matches the font style we have on the signage at the front. Colours will be navy and gold to match the decor and I think that should cover it.' Callum seemed to have settled by the time Ben had finished talking which made Ben feel so much better as he was worried that his head chef was going to pass out from the look on his face. He carried on, 'Look lads, why don't you have a look at the calendar for the Taste of Walford. I have some cookery demonstrations if that suits and also some tasting sessions.' Ben left the two chefs with the material while he took a minute in his office to calm his nerves. He wasn't too sure what was going on between himself and Callum but the situation seemed to be getting worse not better. What if they couldn't together anymore? This thought alone brought tears unbidden to Ben's eyes.

Ben’s confidence felt eroded slightly by these recent developments with Callum. In order to make himself feel better he hit the clubs a bit and flirted up a storm with a few blokes. It helped his confidence a bit but he could never seem to be able to muster the courage to bring anyone home, a certain chef was still on his mind. Every night he hit the Albert he hoped that this would be the night Callum showed up. To add to his confusion he heard through the grapevine that Callum had agreed to go out for a drink with Whitney. He saw them get closer at work, Callum especially seemed to be making a huge effort in getting to know the brunette beauty. ‘Tiff! Tiff! Quick come here.’ Yet again Ben was cleaning glasses, unsuspectingly becoming privy to the gossip of the floor staff. ‘Callum’s asked me out on a date tomorrow night. Just a drink in the Vic.’ 

Just by coincidence and definitely not planned at all, he found himself in the Vic on the Monday afternoon of the date and could see Callum and Whitney huddled in the corner. They seemed to be having a nice time. Yet again Whitney was flirting up a storm with Callum but to his eyes there didn't seem to be much in return. Was he fooling himself? But he couldn't help the jealously building and building. Our if the corner of his eye Ben could see Mick regarding the couple with a worried look. He was definitely curious at this development. Why did Mick look so perturbed? He decided to go have a chat with Mick, Callum had yet to see him. But as he got to closer to Mick, it was impossible for Callum not to see Ben anymore. Before he could lower his mask, Ben was certain that Callum looked like a deer caught in the headlights at the sudden appearance of Ben. He was chatting to Whitney, but every minute or so he would seemingly sneak a glance at Ben. Ben had had a few at this stage, beer with whiskey chasers, but he was nearly sure that the looks were almost wistful. 

'Alright Ben mate, how's the restaurant trade going. We barely see Callum, you must be working him hard.' Ben smiled at Mick friendliness. 'Yeah we've been right busy. This Taste of Walford festival coming up is taking a lot of time and effort. We're hoping it's going to be a success. Hopefully it'll be good for the Vic as well. I see you've got a few things on for it.' Mick smiled while still warily regarding Callum and Whitney over Ben's shoulder. 'Yeah mate should be a good day. Here what's the story over there? Nothing serious is it?' Ben tried to put on a friendly smile, 'Just a date I think, was only a matter of time really til she got her claws into him.' Mick stood back at Ben's snarky comment, 'Woah bit harsh even for you son. I just though ... eh ... that ... umm ... Highway was going to concentrate on his career for the moment is all.' As he talked to Mick, he couldn't help peering over at the laughing and smiling couple. He could feel his anger building. Anger at Whitney for absolutely no tangible reason and anger at Callum for acting like the staff night out had never happened. As the rage built he could feel his logic slip away. 

He went to the toilet, making sure that Callum could see him, putting on his best strut. He passed by their table and couldn't help but comment. 'Blimey Whit, not your usual type?' Both looked up at Ben, Whitney flushed with embarrassment and Callum looked like he wanted to knock Ben out. He felt suddenly guilty and scarpered it to the toilet before he made more of a fool of himself. Once ensconced in the bathroom he tried to sort himself out by splashing cold water all over his face. _What the hell was I thinking,_ he thought to himself. As he mentally scolded himself in the Vic toilets he heard the door behind him. In the mirror he could make out that the person who entered was Callum and he couldn't help but feel delighted that he followed him. He normally wasn't one for toilet hook-ups but he would definitely make an exception for Callum. 

'You can't keep away from me can you?' Ben said cheekily. He couldn't help himself and could feel the blush growing. Why did this man have such an affect on him? Unfortunately it looked like a hook-up was the last thing on Callum's mind as he had a face like thunder which made Ben recoil. 'Did you know I was going to be here tonight on a date Ben? Did you follow me?' The chef looked exasperated. 'Eh ok it's my local too ya know Cal. Plus you're the guy who's just followed me into the toilets. I'm just trying to have a wazz in peace.' Callum looked flustered, like he wanted to ground to swallow him whole. 'I should go back to Whit.' He made to leave before turning back, 'You know what, you really hurt her feelings Ben, that was a really shit thing to say.' He made to leave again but Ben slowly blocked his way out feeling his anger grow again, 'You're just embarrassed about the other night aren't you. We didn't do anything ... we were just dancing?' Ben looked at the ground feeling small and rejected, a sadness replacing the anger that had been building. 'No one saw us if that's what you're worried about. Your precious Whitney was already carted home by Chantelle.' He went to touch Callum's arm but the taller man shoved him out of the way and escaped the toilet. He huffed out a breath of air and rubbed the stubble on his face, placing a hand on his chest to try and calm the thumping of the heart in his chest. The heart that felt like it had just been shattered into tiny pieces. Why was he falling for this guy?

Ben quietly left the toilet and returned to his drink. He looked back over to the couple and he watched as Callum pretended that nothing had just happened between them in the toilets. He tried unsuccessfully to stop himself from sobbing, feeling his body wracked with emotion. To quiet his feelings he downed the remainder of his whiskey and with that he marched out of the pub, confused and hurt by Callum's sudden outburst, trying to stem any more unbidden tears that might appear.

He began to pace the square but eventually he decided to just go home, even if he was tempted to go to his mum's bar and find a random hook-up for some meaningless sex. When he got home he instantly felt like there was something out of place. He couldn't exactly put his finger on it but something just didn't feel right in the house. Feeling paranoid he checked all windows and doors, even under the bed, chastising himself for acting like a scared child but still not being able to get rid of that feeling of unease. It just felt like someone was looking at him and he wasn't sure why. The curtains were all drawn, there were no boogeymen under the bed and the doors were all locked. Finally he berated himself for being such a fool, he was feeling this way because of the amount of booze he had managed to consume in one short afternoon and also because his emotions were flying high from his confrontation with Callum of all people. He decided to make some toast to line his stomach and have another beer to settle his nerves, a winning combination he was sure. As he sat and ate his snack he decided that he needed to have a sober conversation with Callum in the morning. They needed to get back to where they were before and Ben had to forget about any romantic notions he had for his head chef. Yes that is what he needed to do, he just had to figure out a way to sort this all out.

It was nearing nine o'clock and Ben was already planning to hit the hay still not sure how he was going to manage this talk with Callum in the morning. As he prepared a glass of water he heard a soft insistent knock at his door and for a fearful moment he thought it might be Liam. That would be the last thing he needed right now. As he moved towards the door he could make out the shape through the tinted glass. It was hard to mistake the stance and the coiffeur of the silhouette. It was Callum, 'I'm so sorry Ben, I should never have shoved you like that. I don't know what got into me.' Ben had barely opened the door and Callum was already hurriedly apologising. He looked wrecked. His eyes were red as if he had been crying. It took all of Ben's strength not to rush and hold him close. He just looked at Callum, 'I should never have said what I said either. I'm gonna apologise to Whit tomorrow. It was uncalled for.' The tiniest smile appeared on Callum's handsome face. Ben looked at him, the only comparison he had was that the smile was like a rainbow after a summer storm.'Do you want to come in for a tea .... coffee .... beer?' he stuttered.

'Thanks a coffee would be great...thanks. I think I've had enough beer for the night to tell you the truth. Too much Dutch courage .... eh not for this if that what's you think ... just for the date thingy.' Ben looked at Callum.. He was the picture of nervousness and it was utterly charming. He couldn't help what escaped out of his mouth next. 'I broke up with Liam.' He looked up at Callum, trying to gauge his reaction. 'Oh .... really? I'm .... eh ... sorry to hear 'bout that.' Callum suddenly looked like he won the lottery, beaming from ear to ear. ‘Actually I should be honest really, I’m not sorry. He was a massive bell-end. Sorry was that bit ... heartless? ’ Ben just chuckled, 'It's ok. I know everyone thinks he's a complete tosser. It just took me a long time to realise I deserve better.' Ben passed a mug of coffee to Callum, grabbing some milk and sugar and laying it out in front of him.

'You do Ben, you're a really great bloke. Thanks for this by the way, should sober me up a bit.’ Callum took a big gulp of coffee and settled against the kitchen counter. ‘I had a bit of a run in with him the other day actually. Now I understand why he was so ... umm ... aggressive let us just say.’

'You think I'm a great bloke? Thanks, that mean a lot. Sorry about that by the way ... about Liam, he's gotten it into his head that we were ... eh ... how to be put this politely ... carrying on behind his back. I tried to put him straight but I think he might have seen us dancing on the staff night out. Plus he's always been a bit jealous of other blokes who talk to me, look at me or even just pass me by in the street. Used to think he was just being protective, now I realise he was just being controlling. I had a friend once, Paul, sadly no longer with us, but he used to be so annoyed if we hung out, even if it was just for coffee, you know what I mean.'

Ben was feeling confident now that Callum seemed to be comfortably leaning against his kitchen counter sipping coffee. It felt like they were back to how they were before the 'incident'. Buoyed by this new situation he chanced his arm, 'Eh Cal can I ask you something. .... about the staff night out.' Suddenly the air was thick with tension. Callum looked anxious all of a sudden, visibly gulping and licking his lips in anticipation. 'Sure ... ok ... not sure what you need to set straight but alright'. Ben giggled nervously, biting at his thumb wondering whether this was the best way to steer the conversation,'Pun intended? Umm sorry forget I said that. Ok let's just go for it ... Well I'm pretty certain that you had your hand on my ass. I definitely had my hand on yours, because your ass is kind of spectacular. I'm also pretty sure that we were practically grinding up against each other. I think if my mum saw us, she would have either poured water over us or kicked us out for public indecency ...... Not that I'm complaining or anything. I was most definitely enjoying myself Cal and the thing is ... well ... I think you were too.' Ben smiled nervously at Callum hoping he wasn't going to scare him away.

Callum looked petrified and was breathing heavily, 'I should go' He went to leave and Ben felt bereft, 'Look I'm sorry Cal. Please stay. I don't want to ruin our working relationship. I've just obviously misread the signs.' He would say anything to make this amazing man feel better, to feel more comfortable. Callum freezes, visibly torn between leaving and staying, swaying gently in both directions. Ben felt his heart thumping and rubbed his jaw, hoping that Callum would stay. In his mind he prays - _Please don't go, Please don't go, Please don't go ..._

Callum exhales loudly and turns back to Ben staring him straight in the eye, 'I'm so confused Ben. I've never really felt this way before.' He ran his fingers through his hair and let his eyes wander slowly all over Ben's face and body, so much so, that Ben can feel himself blush at the way Callum regards him. In this one small gesture Callum lets Ben know that he wants this too. 'What way Cal?' Ben asked cautiously, hoping that he won't push Callum away .. again. Hoping that the answer he would hear would be what he dreamed of.

'Like I just want to rip your clothes off and fuck you against that ridiculous marble counter top'.


	7. Chapter 7

Ben could not help the joyous expression on his face at Callum's admission. 

'Wow did I just say that out loud. I can't believe that I just actually said that.' Callum's face was scarlet. He began to pace, holding the tips of his fingers over his mouth, muffling his refrain, 'Can't believe I just said that. Eh ... eh ... phew ... can't believe I said that.'

Ben just giggled uncontrollably, 'Yeah ya did and I'm bloody hoping that you don't take it back. I've been thinking obscene thoughts about you, Callum Highway, since the day I saw you stood outside my restaurant. You're as fit as fuck, pardon my French.'

Callum walked back to his previous position to lean against the counter and held his hand over his mouth and lightly chuckled. He was still crimson red, the tips of his ears even going a beautiful shade of pink. Ben couldn't help but think how adorable this made him. He looked up, slightly biting his lower lip, at Ben. 'I don't normally say things like that as you can probably guess. Oh wait ... no, I'm not the reason you broke up with your boyfriend, am I. I'd feel awful if I was the cause of any trouble.'

Ben moved slowly towards him, standing directly opposite but not so close that Callum would feel pressurised.'No ... no not at all, believe me my relationship with Liam was toxic Cal. I was barely twenty when we started going out with each other and he was already in his mid-forties, not that is a problem or anything but as my brother Jay succinctly put the other day when we were through the guts of a bottle of whiskey - I acted younger ... fucking hell I looked younger. I was trying to summon the courage to end our relationship for a long time now. ... well before I met you.' Ben reached out and took Callum's hand in his own, both entwining their fingers together. Callum looked at their hands and smiled shyly and Ben was transfixed by how Callum's eyelashes fluttered gently, resisting the temptation to touch them with his fingertips to see if they felt as soft as they looked. Both looked demurely at the other, revelling in the simple act of holdings hands. This gave Ben the courage to open up further to Callum.

'I've been performing a post mortem on my relationship with him for the past couple of weeks now and I've come to some clear conclusions about the whole debacle. I felt weak, stupid, for falling for his charm, for his position and for his influence. I blamed myself for not being stronger to end it sooner. But really what's the use in that. I ended it eventually and that's what matters most and I ended it for the right reasons ... and there were many many reasons, believe me. He controlled me, manipulated me and isolated me from my family. Someone who purports to love you shouldn't do those things. And the thing is Callum ... its pains me to admit this but ... at the start I liked being controlled, it meant I didn't need to think. Didn't need to make decisions for myself. He distorted what I thought a relationship should be. I was young, inexperienced and most importantly my upbringing didn't provide me with any stability. Being in and out of prison and the cop shop didn't help either. I was a mess and he took advantage of that. I see the truth in it now. I don't regret the relationship, not entirely, because the truth is there were parts of it that I did enjoy ... at the start anyways. The crux of it is this ... it just should have been a short fling, a bit of fun, and not such a long relationship if you get my drift. Wow ... don't think I've ever had the chance to talk so much about myself without being interrupted in a very long time. Thanks Cal. It feels good to get that off my chest.' Callum smiled gently sat Ben and rubbed his thumb slowly over Ben's knuckles, soothing the younger man in front of him.

'I think I understand you know .. what you said about the control. I was like that with the army. I liked the regimen, the order that made sense because my head was chaotic. Still is a bit to be honest, it made it easier to hide in a way. To forget about the outside world. Well... for a short time anyway. 'Callum smiled shyly and looked at Ben intently, 'I'm not going to lie to you Ben, I'm not sure if ... whatever this is between us ... if it's worth ruining our working relationship. I made a promise to myself, not long ago now, that I was going to concentrate on my career. I don't want to risk everything going tits up and then being out of a job at the end of it.'

Ben smiled sadly, 'Look I understand, I've worked so hard to get to this point with the restaurant and I don't want to risk losing the best chef in the country to a competitor.' He could feel Callum on the precipice, hoping that he would make the leap of faith but not wanting to push him more than he needed to.

Callum stood up straight and now held both of Ben's hands, 'I need to be entirely frank with you. You know you saw me on a date with Whitney tonight. Tell you the truth I don't know what I was thinking. See I've been trying to reconnect with my father recently. Ha ...thought it was a good idea. My brother Stuart has been doing really well in rehab, has a new sense of purpose ya know. I kind of thought my dad would like to know how well he was doing but ... well ... I was wrong. He's still the same, actually to be honest I think he's gotten worse. His brains a bit fried from all the booze. He kept going on about when was I going to reenlist, when was I going to get married and give him grandkids, when was I going to prove that I was a real man and not some prissy sap. The insults wore me down in the end and I thought ok ... let's give this a shot ... let's try a date with Whit and see how it goes. She was nice, she was kind and she liked me. Great idea huh? And then after what happened in the Vic bathroom I let her down gently, told her I'm still trying to figure out who I am. All I could think about in that bloody toilet was throwing you into that stall and snogging the face off of ya. I think it's obvious I've been struggling a bit with my sexuality for a while now .... all that stuff with my dad and more, the army and ... uhm ... other stuff .... well, they all kind of got in the way. That's one of the reasons that I decided to concentrate on work for a while ... thought it would make everything easier for a while at least. But I didn't reckon on my new boss being .... uhm ... well on him being so hot.'

'Well thank you kind sir', Ben winked. 'I think you know how attractive I find you. I've found it hard to not stare at you constantly to tell you the truth. I am so glad I chose such tight t-shirts for the uniform. But seriously I think we've got a lot in common, dads wise anyway. I think you get me Cal and the thing is I get you too. It can eat you up, not being who you need to be. It can make you do stupid things, trying to prove yourself to your old man. It got me a stint in prison. This idea of there being only one way to be a man, it's ridiculous ... it's antiquated. You are amazing Callum Highway.'

'I'm so nervous Ben. That night we all went out I tried so hard to stay away from you. One because I was confused about who I am, who I want to be. It all gets mixed up in my head sometimes. And secondly because you obviously had a boyfriend. But when we started dancing, I kind of forgot my head for a change and just went with my gut'

'Don't think that was your gut Callum ... think that was your groin.' Callum looked at Ben and shook his head laughing, 'Seriously Ben, I'm trying to open up here.'

Ben looked down with mock innocence and bit his bottom lip, 'Sorry find it hard to be sincere sometimes, If things get a bit too serious I like to throw in a smart comment, probably why I used to get punched so much when I was younger.' Callum looks at him forgivingly, 'Find it hard to be anything but .... especially around you.'

Ben smiles shyly at Callum, 'That's why I like ya.' They move closer to each other, slowly gauging the others reaction.

Both kiss each other tentatively and Ben feels like he's found heaven. Callum's lips are soft, gentle and yielding. He grants access by opening his mouth and Ben moans deeply feeling like all his dreams have finally come true. The taste is sweet with a hint of beer, inviting Ben to lick deeper inside Callum's mouth. Ben can feel Callum's hands run up and down his arms steadily and feels his cock grow and bulge against his jeans seam. Ben leans against Callum who envelops him in his embrace. The chef's hands move to cradle Ben's head, his thumbs tracing the line of his jaw, stopping to pull Ben's lip lower. Ben takes advantage and sucks seductively on the tip of the chef's thumb. Meanwhile Ben's hands travel to Callum's waist travelling under Callum's navy shirt to carress the warm flesh beneath moving slowly up towards his chest, as much as the limits of the shirt allow. If possible this opens Callum up further to him. Both begin to slowly writhe against each other, the room gradually beginning to feel like a sauna from the heat of their passion. Callum uses one hand to squeeze lightly at Ben's neck while his other still gently holds onto Ben's jawline. Ben groans and feels weak at the knees at the sensation, the sensation of being held so confidently by Callum. The kiss rapidly starts to become increasingly heated, both nipping each others bottom lip until Callum suddenly becomes overwhelmed by the occasion. He pushes back slightly, looking overcome with desire, his hair unkempt and his lips pink and swollen, 'Sorry Ben, phew, not sure if I'm ready for that all that yet despite my earlier statement.' Ben stepped back running a hand from his neck to his chest to still the burning desire that was growing within.

'God you taste so good. Oops sorry sometimes I forget to put a filter on my big mouth. Look ... phew ... give me a minute here to catch my breath .......... why don't we leave jumping each others bones for another more sober night and maybe just go on a date or somefink. We've both been on the bottle although I would love, love, L.O.V.E., love to take this further, I'd think we'd both like our first time together to be a less inebriated affair.' Fancy watching a movie together though while you finish your coffee? Callum smiles at Ben, visibly relieved at Ben's astuteness. He takes Ben's face in his hands again, Ben revelling in the feeling of his fingers tracing the hair at the nape of his neck. They kiss again deeply, enjoying the sensation, the feeling of being cocooned by the other. Ben stood back reluctantly feeling utterly content with this new development in their relationship. He held out his hand to Callum and both men retreated to Ben's cinema room to curl up on the large plush velvet sofa. They watched a forgettable action movie together, sweetly holding each others hands, stealing the odd peck on the lips. Neither wanted to push the other further than they felt comfortable although both were transfixed by the other. As Ben sat on the couch, head resting on Callum's chest with the chef's fingers slowing caressing his scalp, he feels something he hasn't felt in a long time. Relaxed, calm and ... cared for. 

As the credits of the movie eventually role, Callum stretches, 'Why don't we go bowling next Monday? Would you fancy that or is that a really cheesy date idea. I could bring you out for dinner but tell you the truth sometimes I get sick of restaurant food.' Ben was charmed by the date suggestion, the last two hours were so relaxing, so he couldn't wait to spend even more time with Callum. Plus he turned out to be an amazing kisser which Ben definitely wanted to do more of. 'That actually sounds really fun. I haven't gone bowling since ... actually I don't think I've ever been bowling.' They both chuckle and become lost in each others arms against spending the next hour, before Callum had to depart, kissing like teenagers on the couch. As Ben climbed the stairs to bed that night, wistfully thinking of Callum and finally feeling sober, he still couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. So much so, that he even in the end checked under the bed and in the wardrobe, still unable to assuage the feeling of eyes on him. The only thing that lulled himself was the memory of Callum's lips on his own. 

The next week uncharacteristically dragged by for both men. They shared longing looks at each other across the kitchen and the odd surreptitious snogging session in Ben's office and once cheekily in the staff cloakroom which barely fitted the two men. Both were still keeping their hands above the hips and Ben was feeling positively monk-like. He spent his mornings dreamily imagining what the chef would look like naked or sometimes he like to fantasise about Callum in just his apron. Monday just seemed so far away. It was finally Sunday afternoon and Ben was waiting for Callum in his office so they could go through and hopefully finalise the tasting menu. They had another couple of weeks to finalise everything but Ben was becoming swamped with all the admin and marketing for the Taste of Walford festival. His brother Ian had suddenly shown an interest in the festival, realising how big it was becoming, wanting to raise his own profile. When he suggested that his own name be front and centre rather than Ben's and Callum's, Ben had lost his temper and now Ian was threatening to pull his twenty per cent investment out of Chez Benjamin. Ben had already pumped all his spare cash into the business and had loans up to his gills. He didn't want to borrow off his mother and he certainly didn't want to ask his dad for the cash. He was in a pickle but he was sure he could come up with a solution. 

'Penny for them,' Callum was stood at the door looking at Ben mulling over his problems. Ben smiled reassuringly, 'Ah it's nothing babe. Just my brother being a div again.' The chef took off his apron and hung it up behind the door, then closed it behind him. Ben sat and watched as Callum made his way across the small office nearing Ben. He stood up and instantly both started kissing, teeth clashing in their fervour ... Ben slightly tempted to sweep off the paperwork off the desk to let Callum take him there and then in the office but both had agreed that their first time together needed to be special, to be romantic ... no matter how tempting it was to throw caution to the wind. As they kissed thoroughly, Ben gasped as he felt Callum's hand push down the front his jeans to rub his now erect cock. He groaned into the chefs mouth, mumbling words of encouragement, 'Please Cal, don't stop. You don't know how much I've dreamed about this.' He could feel that he was already leaking pre-cum and Callum was using this as a lubricant to rub his hands up and down Ben's shaft. He was glad he wore looser jeans then normal this morning but he still took a moment to release them by adeptly popping the button and pulling down the zip allowing Callum more access. Both men were now groaning deeply, messily kissing each other, and Ben used this opportunity to loosen Callum's tighter jeans and push his hand into his pants. His eyes widened comically at the prize he found within ... Callum was definitely very well endowed both in length and girth. 'Fucking hell babe.' Callum chuckled into Ben's mouth and both continued to get the other off. Ben was surprised by the confidence of Callum and he also revelled in finally feeling Callum's cock his hand, imagining what it would be like in other bedroom activities. Soon both were nearing the edge of ecstasy, kisses becoming sloppier and hand movements becoming jerkier. 'Yes Ben, that feels amazing.' "Oh Cal, oh Cal, babe'. Both were coming within seconds of the other, kissing each other slowly, their hands still in the others pants. As they kissed, suddenly the door to the office opened and Chantelle walked in ... 'Ben we've just had a late booking, do you have ... oh fuck ... shit ... sorry .... ha ... umm I'll chat to you later ... haha.' Both men just looked at each, then the closing door, then at each other again and burst out laughing ... hands still jammed in the other's pants.

Shortly thereafter, after both men cleaned up and sat down for their actual meeting, Ben reassured Callum, 'Look I'll have a chat with Chantelle not to say anything. I feel the same as you. I don't want people to know about us until we are both ready. I kind of like what we have going at the moment, feels a little bit forbidden.' The chef looked at Ben shyly, 'Thanks that would mean a lot. Want to at least have a date with you first before everyone finds out.' Callum bit his lip and handed Ben a newer draft of the tasting menu. Ben took the sheet of paper, ensuring a lingering touch of hands occurred, 'Oh babe you put the dishes back on it ... the ones from our first day together.' The chef bites him lip, looking delighted with the reaction from Ben, 'Yeah ... should have never taken them off should I?' Ben is delighted, happy that that first day together obviously meant as much to Callum as it did to him. 'The other dishes look amazing Cal, do you think I'd be able to try them before we send this to the printers.' 

'Of course ... tell you what we'll arrange a staff tasting for everyone. Sound good?' Ben tries to hide his disappointment but fails, 'Don't worry Ben, I was thinking I could cook you something for just the two of us soon enough but lets get the bowling out of the way first. Want to make sure you're a decent shot don't I.' Ben opens his mouth in mock surprise and adds salaciously, 'Oi cheeky ... I always hit my target.'

At the moment everything seemed to moving in the right direction for Ben. Work was going from strength to strength, his daughter was spending more and more time with him and his new 'relationship' with Callum was moving in the right direction. Another huge plus was that Liam seemed to have disappeared from his life altogether, it was almost like he never existed. The only remaining issue that irked Ben was that some of the decor of the flat was still more to his ex-boyfriend's taste rather than his own. He really wanted to add more stuff of his own choosing and remove some of the tackier items but he hadn't had a minute to think lately. 

However no matter what he did or how good his life felt at the moment he still had a feeling of uneasiness in this own home. He just couldn't shake that sensation that someone was watching him. Every night he returned from the restaurant as he settled down with a beer before bed he could feel the hairs on his neck prickle. And so began his nightly ritual - looking behind curtains, under the bed, checking two .. no three times that the windows and doors were locked. The odd night when the sense of creepiness got too much for Ben, he succumbed to spending the night at his mum's, technically still Ian's, to try and get a decent night's sleep. He'd had conversations with Callum, his family and his friends and all had come to the same conclusion - Ben just wasn't used to living on his own. The feelings would go away eventually. He just smiled and agreed but deep inside knew something just didn't add up.

Finally it was Monday evening! Ben had somehow managed to spend all day getting ready, eventually settling for black jeans, a maroon shirt and grey jacket. He arranged to meet Callum at the bowling alley so they wouldn't bump into any nosy parkers, it was only two bus stops away but Ben could feel his nerves build on the short journey. As he makes his way to the front door of the bowling alley he can make out Callum nervously pacing in front. His breath gets caught in his chest - Callum looks so handsome in black jeans, a grey shirt and black bomber jacket and as always his hair is quaffed to perfection. Ben smiles to himself, looking forward to messing up the hair do later. Callum looks up and almost runs to meet Ben, enveloping him in his embrace. They kiss chastely until Callum takes Ben by the hand and guides him into the bowling alley.

The bowling turns out to be a brilliant idea. Both men are ultra competitive, although Callum is definitely the more skilled player, but a couple of lucky shots mean they are almost neck and neck nearing the end of their allotted time. 'I can't believe how many jammy shots you've managed!' Callum swots at Ben's arm playfully. Ben artfully grabs the other man's hand and pulls him into a quick kiss. 'Natural talent babe. Just can't help it can I.' They've both had two beers, not wanting to go too mad, what with the early start the next morning. 'How are feeling about staying in the house alone now?' Callum holds onto both of Ben's arms, game momentarily forgotten, as he stares with concern at him. 'To be honest it still feels weird. I know that everyone keeps saying it will get easier but it just doesn't feel right. Ah maybe I'm just being overdramatic.' Callum holds him close and looks at him, slightly chewing his lower lip, deep in thought.

It's not long before they have to end their date, both knowing that tomorrow brings another busy day for the restaurant. However Ben invites Callum over to his the next night after work for another movie night and Callum offers to cook them both a meal. They both agree that they have trained the staff so well that they can take advantage of being the bosses for the evening and slink off a little early. In his mind, Ben is hoping they can escalate their burgeoning relationship to the next stage if he plays his cards right. Both are yawning by the time they return to Walford, exhausted from their exertions and from the marathon snogging session at the bus stop after they alighted from the bus.

Both men are almost skipping with delight through the square, despite their exhaustion, despite the odd curious glance thrown their way. As they near Ben’s, Callum pulls him into a sweet delicate kiss, ‘Thanks for an amazing date. See you bright and early in the morning?’ Ben smiles, utterly charmed by Callum’s gentleman-like behaviour. He grins shyly, ‘At the crack of dawn babe ... can’t wait for tomorrow night already.’ He winks cheekily at Callum, who heads back across the square to his flat, throwing the odd glance back at Ben, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. As Ben arrives at his front door there's an unmarked brown envelope on his doorstep left. He checks it from all angles but there are no markings, not even his own name. Glancing around the square, he rips open the envelope, finding A4 photos within. Confused he tries to make out the photo under the dim light on his doorstep.

It's some grainy photos a migrant camp. It looks like there are some mercenary types taking medical supplies from the camp and selling them on the black market. He looks through the series of photos evidencing the obvious activities of the mercenaries. As he’s trying to figure out why someone would leave these on his doorstep he spots someone familiar.....

One of the mercenaries is Callum!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum's point of view from their first meeting up until the envelope!!!

_Choking on smoke! Feel something hot in my side .... oh no there’s so much blood .... the pain .... the pain._

_I’m nearly there, I’m almost there. I can reach them. I just have to be stronger. The woman she’s trapped ... oh no .... I can’t move the rubble. Her face ... Oh my god her face .... there’s so much blood. I can only take the child. I need to run. Run ... faster ... run ... need to get out._

_Screaming ... it’s getting louder ... crying ... the child is beating my chest and sobbing ... trying to run back to his mother. More smoke .... gun fire .... explosions .... and a river of blood._

Callum wakes up in a pool of sweat. It’s that dream again. When he closes his eyes ... all he can see is blood.

Callum stood nervously outside of Chez Benjamin. He didn't know what to expect and had been ridiculously early in getting here. Mick had even took the piss this morning at his eagerness to get started. 'Alright son, ya do know I've heard ya up since the crack of dawn. You've got nothing to worry about. Ben's a good bloke, bit complicated but ya know underneath it all a good sort. He's really come through in the last couple of years.' Callum had looked at him curiously, 'What do you mean complicated?' He was worried this guy mightn't be serious about running a top restaurant. Callum had aspirations and he wanted to put his name firmly on the culinary map before he was thirty. 'You know you both probably have a lot in common actually come to think of it .... eh how do I put it ... difficult fathers.' Mick's words stayed with him as he crossed the square ... difficult fathers ... that was definitely a polite way of describing Jonno!

As Callum stood outside, pretending to nonchalantly look down the road while waiting for his watch to turn six, he glanced up and saw who he assumed was Ben staring intensely out the window at him. Staring in such a way he could feel a blush start to creep from his neck upwards. He waved and received a tentative one in return. He was reluctant to admit to himself as he neared the restaurant and could see Ben much more clearly he liked what he saw - short, square-jawed, smattered with stubble with slightly pouty lips. He tried to quash the sensation but he couldn't help but feel physically attracted to his new boss. To distract himself he concentrated on the job at hand and decided to at least provide a sample of his work, trying to be as professional as possible. The menu was uninspired but that was not surprising, he had eaten in some of the other Beale restaurants and thought - style over substance. He's had far nicer meals in much cheaper and less lavish surroundings. Ian Beale had not impressed him either when they had chatted, a bit of a blow-hard, but he needed the head chef job. He couldn't be a sous chef forever if he wanted to work his way to the top. This was just the next rung on the ladder and if it didn't work out at least he had a head chef position on his resume. Throughout their chat in Ben's office Callum tried to present an air of professionalism, even if deep down inside his heart was thumping and he was worried Ben would think he was bluffing. As soon as he got into the kitchen he could feel his confidence grow. He liked the whole set up and was itching to get started. He was sure that the menu could be easily fixed and was ultimately motivated by Ben's enthusiasm.

As he cooked lunch he could make out some of Ben's phone conversations. He liked his manner; forthright, a little bit cheeky, really flirty and not afraid to be tough if he needed to be. He found himself chuckling at his bolshy attitude, caught himself and turned on the radio to further divert himself from Ben in the office. Soon he was cheerily singing along until he caught Ben looking at him smiling. He could feel a tightness in his chest. He could also feel this hunger grow deep inside him. _What the hell was happening_ \- be thought to himself. Callum could find himself beginning to get lost in Ben's striking blue eyes, they were incredible, so inviting, he was so tempted to step closer. He distracted himself further by hurrying Ben out of the kitchen so he could compose himself a little more. As he brought dish after dish out to Ben, hoping he hadn't been too big headed, he was charmed by the other man's encouraging reactions. He hadn't felt so valued, so praised in such a long time. Sure his mentors and his fellow chefs had been supportive but there was always a sense that they thought Callum was too big for his boots, oblivious to the fact that they were simply jealous with how Callum was surpassing them all ... easily.

Callum felt incredibly proud of himself. Ben was bowled over with how he had turned the menu around and it was delightful to swim in his praise. Callum watched as Ben tucked in to all the dishes, transfixed by his mouth as he licked his spoon clean after eating the soufflé. They had chatted like old friends, immediately comfortable in each other’s company and then Ben had asked the question - _why has no one snapped you up_? It may have been incongruous to an outsider but it utterly flummoxed Callum, how could he answer without revealing too much of himself. He knew from Mick, and from just this small conversation, that himself and Ben had so much in common but he knew he didn't trust him enough to reveal his real reasons as yet. He managed to bluster his way through and soon they were back to the easy to and fro. Ben intrigued him, his company was charming and Callum continually found it hard to deny an attraction. As they clinked glasses he felt like they were in their own little bubble, cocooned from the vagaries of the outside world. If he was honest with himself, he had to admit that this 'tasting' was becoming more and more like a first date. 'So I think I'll take the job so,' he quipped to Ben as he made to leave for the afternoon. 'Oh really now ... I like your confidence Cal ... definitely helps that it's backed up with some serious skill.' Callum blushed pink, partly from the wine but mostly from the flirting, and tried to hide the beaming smile he held as he made his way across the square. Unbeknownst to him, Liam was stood watching his every move, the green-eyed monster having consumed him. 

‘So how it go Highway mate?’ Mick slapped him on the back and guided him to a bar stool, bottle of beer already laid out for him. He finds it hard to hide his joy, he’s beaming from ear to ear, ‘Yeah it was great ... amazing. The place is really cool plus the kitchen is perfect. Think it’s going to be the one to make my name.’ Mick looks overjoyed, ‘Ah mate I’m made up for ya, you deserve this ya know. And we get to have ya stay. L is going to be made up.’ Callum quirks his head and smiles wider, ‘Don’t worry Mick I’m on the lookout for a flat nearby. I think if Shirl has to see me in me boxers one more time she’s gonna deck me one.’ They both chuckle. ‘Ben’s ... he’s pretty .. eh ... decent isn’t he. Nice to see someone so ambitious but he’s willing to listen to my opinion which is amazing. Think we work really well together ... can’t wait to meet everyone else as well obviously.’ Mick looks at him curiously and Callum recognises the look, and feels himself clam up. ‘Yeah he’s a good bloke despite everything he’s been through. It’s nice to see how he’s turned his life around.’ Before Callum can delve any deeper Mick is called away by Tina to replace a barrel. 

The opening night was a blur to Callum. After a quick friendly introduction to his team, they went straight to work prepping the whole menu, his team adapting to the menu changes easily. He was so busy during the morning that he had barely time to take a breath, but he was loving every minute of it. The kitchen was flowing, the banter between the brigade keeping everyone in good spirits. The encouraging words of Ben during the staff pow-wow buoyed everyone and they were all on the same page, desperate to make the night a success. Earlier in the day he could see that Ben's nerves were building and he had to fight the growing need to comfort him, to hold him close. What the hell was going on with him. He could find himself seeking Ben out at every moment of the day, delighted when he appeared in the kitchen or ecstatic that he could provide some calm to him when he looked ready to panic. When tasting Honey's dessert he couldn't fight the temptation to touch Ben's lip and remove that small film of ice cream that lay across his cupids bow. He had to fight the desire to lick it away with his tongue. Ben looked as delectable as the ice cream tasted and Callum wondered what he would look like with ice cream decorating his body and Callum using his tongue to clean it all up. Once he thought Ben had left the kitchen, he brought his thumb to his lips and delicately tasted the cream mixed with the scent of Ben, it was intoxicating. Quickly he got back to the food prep, throwing himself back into work. 

Throughout the night compliments were flying into the kitchen and Callum and his brigade felt on cloud nine. Ben was right about this team, they were capable and very professional. He was especially impressed with young Keegan and could see that he was made for more than just pot washing. He had made the decision already that he would make a good apprentice, that he would provide the mentorship that he had always craved when he was starting out on his culinary adventure. He also couldn't wait to meet Ben's family and the thought of that made him miss his own brother. Sure he had a surrogate family in the Carters but he missed his brother Stuart, although he was really happy to hear from him lately and hear the positivity in his voice. He seemed to have turned a corner and was sorting himself out. 

His only major error of the night was when he called Ben’s boyfriend his dad. Inwardly he felt his whole body cringe but there was also a small feeling of devastation that he was definitely trying to ignore. Since that moment for the rest of opening night every time he was within a few metres of Liam he could feel his eyes bore a hole in the back of his head. Otherwise he was completely charmed by the rest of Ben's family and friends. His mum, Kathy was especially ebullient about the menu, which delighted Callum. They had all welcomed him with open arms and he instantly felt at ease in their company. The night was a roaring success and for Callum it was only a mere taster of what he could achieve at Chez Benjamin. 

Since opening night he threw himself into work at Chez Benjamin forming fast friendships with the rest of the staff. He feels like he's been a supportive head chef, listening to his brigade and providing guidance when needed. 'Heya Bobby what's up?' Callum was prepping for the evening service while the remainder of the brigade took a quick break. 'Hey Callum, I couldn't have a chat with you about something?' Bobby looked nervous, picking at his fingers and nervously stepping back and forth. 'Sure go ahead mate.' Bobby looked up and took a huge breath, 'Well I heard you might be looking for a new pot washer .. eh. .. now that Keegan has been promoted. Tiff told me I should ask if I could do the job?' Callum smiled slowly regarding the young lad, 'Are you sure Bobby? It'll mean you won't get as many tips. Some would see it as a demotion.' Callum was trying to hide that he was impressed with Bobby's wishes, wanting to test how much Bobby wanted the job. 'My dad wants me to go to his culinary school, said it would easy for me to do well there ... but the thing is I don't want an easy ride. I want to work my way up from the bottom. I want to earn my way ...properly. Plus I think I could learn so much from you. I've seen what Keegan has achieved in the short time you've been here and I'd like a shot if you'd take me?' Callum couldn't hide his smile any more. 'Clear it with Ben first alright Bobby. But I'd be delighted to have you in the kitchen. I'm not going to lie Bobby, pot washing is a hard job. But you pay your dues and I'll teach you .. alright.' Both shaked hands and Bobby skipped out of the kitchen and straight into Ben's office. Callum couldn't but chuckle at his enthusiasm ... it was funny but Bobby reminded him so much of himself at that age.

'Quick everyone the review is out,' he hears Ben's distinctive voice from the restaurant floor and everyone legs it out front to hear the verdict. Callum feels the butterflies in his stomach. A bad review could spell disaster for them ... and his career. As he listens to Ben read it out, the elation he feels is phenomenal. They all hug and high five each other, each feeling a small part of the night's success. Finally Ben and Callum hug and Callum can feel himself relax completely into the other man's embrace. Before he does something he regrets he quickly retreats to the kitchen to throw himself back into the evening's prep. It becomes a familiar trend, Ben and Callum have a moment, Callum catches himself and then quickly absconds to the kitchen to distract himself with a shellfish stew or a goats cheese mousse with beetroot foam. The more complicated the better, the more it will help him push those feelings and emotions to the very bottom of his heart. Work ... work ... forget about everything else.

That evening Callum could feel how uptight Ben was all of a sudden. He was confused as the review had been amazing and the lunch time service had been a success. He found out the reason why shortly thereafter. At around nine when he poked his head out from the kitchen to the restaurant, he was disappointed to see Liam and Ben having dinner together. He knew that they were a couple but this was the first time they looked like proper boyfriends. Each time he glanced out at them he couldn't help but catch Liam's eye and every time a smug little smile would appear on Liam's face. The last time he glanced he nearly tripped up Chantelle, 'Sugar sorry Chantelle, in my own little world there.' She just smiled forgivingly at him, 'It's all right love. Ah Liam's in is he. Trying to score a free meal again no doubt.' Callum quirked his head enquiringly at her and she further divulged more information. 'He has a little tendency to order the most expensive items on the menu in any of the restaurants Ben is working at, including booze, and then expecting it to be gratis. Ben is the one that ends up paying though because obviously it embarrasses him and Ian always makes a big deal of it. He's apparently this super hot shot solicitor who gets paid a tonne but you know what I never see him put a hand in his pocket.' Callum just shakes his head, grimacing at the tightness of the solicitor. 'Why does Ben put up with it?' Chantelle frowns, 'I ask myself that all the time ya know. Ben deserves better that's all I'll say.' Chantelle quickly runs to table number nine to take their dessert order, leaving Callum mystified by her assertion. 

Soon the kitchen was closed and spotless thanks to the efforts of the team. All are managing to leave together bustling through the near empty restaurant on the way to the exit. Callum notices Ben sleepily sitting beside Liam, whose arms are wrapped possessively around the younger man. As usual Liam is full of his slimy charm when he congratulated the kitchen staff which Callum can see right through. He could see Ben trying to make eye contact with him, but he bit his lip and attempted nonchalance, trying to hide his jealous heart. Meanwhile Liam was trying to cosy up to all the kitchen team, but all Callum wanted was to get home and get a good night's kip. Then suddenly Liam starts making odd comments about closed cases and private security firms. The panic begins to build in Callum, white spots appearing in his vision ... he needs to get out of here .... needs to get somewhere safe to calm down. With that he is off like a shot out of the restaurant and straight home to his bedroom in the Vic to practice his relaxation exercises before he blacks out from the stress ... _but .... why the hell would Liam make such a strange statement .. no .. no ... there's no way he'd know_.

As the weeks progressed Callum could feel that restaurant kick into the next gear, managing to put Liam's strange statement to the back of his mind. The menu was being constantly improved and the reviews were off the charts. There was a definite buzz in the air around Walford and the East End as well. Chez Benjamin was the hottest new spot, more and more coming through the door week on week. He'd been getting to know Ben's friends and family as well, they were constantly in and out visiting. He was shocked to learn that Ben and Lola had a daughter but when he met Lexi he was utterly charmed; she was the perfect blend of father and mother .. confident, a little bit bolshy, cute as a button but not annoying in any little way like some confident kids can be. As they had cooked in the kitchen together that lunchtime, Callum had almost felt like part of a family, a thought he tried to quickly dismiss. It was hard not to be charmed by both daughter and father, and together they were formidable. Soon himself and Ben were planning the new tasting menu as well the Taste of Walford festival. Ben was so driven and its constantly inspired Callum to think of new ideas. Ben kept him on his toes .. he always wanted to amaze him .. to surprise him. The first iteration of the tasting menu was a real rough draft but front and centre were versions of the first ever dishes Callum cooked for Ben. The pistachio soufflé held a special place in Callum's heart, the memory of Ben licking the spoon stood out in his mind. There was also the chocolate tart with the vanilla ice cream, an ice cream that now Callum could not taste now without remembering the distinct flavour of Ben Mitchell. There were new additions trialled here and there but the core dishes were still those first day plates. 'This is my favourite part of the week ya know,' Ben shyly says to him. Callum feels his heart leap, 'Here look at this idea for an amuse bouche - it's a beetroot sorbet with some sorrel and a parmesan tuille.' Callum had managed to ungracefully change the subject, but Ben just smiled, chewed on his thumb and continued reading through the menu. 

It was after one of those sessions when Callum was heading home for the evening that he bumped into Ben's brother, 'Heya mate, how are you getting on? Heading back to the Vic I see. Must be a bit crowded there at the moment?' Callum smiles at Jay, 'Yeah it is a bit. I'm looking for my own place though but can't seem to find somewhere close to work.' Jay stretches out his hand and slaps Callum vigorously on the back, 'Well, well, well have I got some good news for you then Callum! The flat above my place of work, the undertakers, is up for rent. It's fairly reasonable too. Do you fancy it? Pretty much available as soon as.' Callum let out a little whoop and brought Jay into a big bear hug, 'Mate thank you so much, that would be amazing. Think Shirl is only a few more days from offing me and hiding my body!' 

The staff night out came around in a heartbeat. Callum was a so nervous and had downed one too many in the staff pre-drinks but not as many as Whitney! 'Schmallum, sorry ... Callum ... heehee, you are super cute you know. We should totally head out for a drink together sometime. I mean you don't really go out much do ya? It's all work work work.' Callum tried not to look terrified but Whitney was leaning on him heavily. He had tried to back out of coming to the Albert, saying he should see Bobby home but unfortunately they had all passed Bobby's house on the way to the club so that excuse would't pass muster. And now Whitney had her arms wrapped around him and he didn't know how to extricate himself without being rude. Luckily Chantelle was his knight in shining armour in the end, 'Come here Whit, please save me from Tubbs will ya.' Whitney quickly went to her friends aid, oblivious to the fact that Tubbs was throwing some dubious shapes on the dance floor with a short blond wrapped around his neck. He looked gratefully at Chantelle and mouthed a thank you. She smiled at him and gestured over to Ben who was sitting on his own. He looked at her curiously but she just mysteriously winked. As soon as he sat beside Ben he felt comfortable in his own skin again. He always seemed to have this effect on him. He just knew there would be no awkwardness, no pretence and absolutely no bullshit. 

They chatted amiably, Ben probing Callum's relationship with the Carters and Callum could feel himself open up about how they were his surrogate parents but how he was happy to be finally moving into his own place in Walford. 'It's just above the undertakers but at least that means it'll be dead quiet.' Ben guffaws at the terrible joke. Callum loves how Ben always seems to actually enjoy his terrible puns, always laughing, his crystal blue eyes sparkling and luring Callum closer. Callum could feel the warmth of Ben's body against his own, just by their thighs simply touching, the heat radiating throughout his whole body. He could feel himself move closer to Ben, happy to be enveloped in their own little bubble, oblivious to their surroundings, deaf to the shouts and whoops of their cohorts. They talked about their families, their dads especially, and Callum could feel their bond grow tighter and his attraction to the younger man grow exponentially. As he talked, Ben had laid his hand on his knee, a simple act to provide comfort to Callum when he chatted about his absent father. But unconsciously Ben had started to rub small circles on his leg. As Ben's finger traced his firm thigh, Callum could feel his groin tighten in response. He felt mesmerised by Ben, feeling himself fall closer to the other man, eyes firmly looking at his soft inviting lips. And then suddenly Chantelle was there dragging them both up to dance ... 

The dance .... oh how that dance had ignited something deep within him until the arrival of Liam had brought him back to the harsh reality - Ben had a boyfriend and how can he be certain that he really is gay. It’s not like he’s had any experience with either sex is it? It was obvious that Whitney was interested in him, she constantly paid him attention and had tried to be his company the whole night. She was a lovely girl, really sweet and with a razor sharp wit. Any guy would be made up if she showed any interest in them but Callum felt nothing ... no excitement, no butterflies. But get him within ten metres of Ben Mitchell and his stomach was doing cartwheels. The dance ... well ... that was something else. Callum Highway had never done anything like that before. Normally his idea of dancing was akin to a an octopus on fire ... nothing as deeply sensual as what he just experienced with Ben Mitchell. As he legged it across the square to the Vic, he kept reciting the mantra in his head .. _It was just the booze, nothing more. It was just the booze_. 

He ran home to the Vic and threw himself on the bed burying his face in the pillow. He tried in vain to get Ben out of his head. As he stood to get undressed he couldn't help but think of how Ben's body felt against his own. How natural they had felt together, how Ben's hands had grabbed at his ass, how his had felt in his own grip. So many images flickered through his mind. Within minutes of entering his bedroom he found himself completely naked lying on the bed running his hands up and down his body, imagining they were Ben's hands, his cock aching with the need to be touched. He visualised Ben and imagined what he must look like naked above him. He pictured Ben biting his thumb and running it down his torso as Callum took his own leaking penis in hand. He got himself off thinking of how Ben would feel inside him, how he would feel inside Ben and everything in between. As he stroked himself faster the images became vivid and his moans became louder and deeper. As he came closer to climax he imagined being enveloped by Ben's sweaty body, both writhing against each other, and with the image of Ben's face brimming with ecstasy he came all over his stomach. His dreams didn't help him much either .. they were filled with naked images of himself and Ben dancing and swaying in time to music - adding fuel to the fire of his desire for Ben.

Callum woke early the next morning. He tried in vain to forget the dance floor dalliance the previous night with Ben, along with his nocturnal transgression when he returned from the Albert. He just hoped that he had been quiet, he wasn't too sure as he did have a skin-full the previous evening. 'Alright Halfwit, try to keep it down when you're spanking the monkey alright. I had to shove the pillows into my ears to drown ya out.' Callum felt his whole body cringe and felt scarlet with embarrassment. 'Mother will you leave the lad alone, what he does in the privacy of his own room is his business.' Mick just grimaced at Callum, while Callum quickly backed away out of the kitchen with excuses of having to pack for the move. He rapidly got out his running gear, hoping the jog would calm his nerves and quash the heat of his embarrassment. 

As he was returning back to the Vic from his morning run he ran headlong into a clearly disturbed Liam. He was taken aback by the other man's appearance. Normally so put together and suave looking but now he appeared almost feral with agitation. Callum tried to nod curtly and run past him quickly, but it seemed that Liam had other ideas. In an instant Liam grabbed him by the hoodie and violently pushed him against the wall. Callum froze in shock, not suspecting him to accost him so viciously. The first thought that came to him mind was - _he must of seen us dancing together._ 'You think you're something special don't you. I must admit you are a bit delectable, very pretty, a bit too old for my tastes but I'd say you taste divine. I wonder what you'd look like with my cock rammed down your beautiful throat. You act so innocent don't ya CAL! I know your game mate!' He was practically screaming in Callum's face, his inner self finally on show. Callum pushed him back and punched him in the stomach to wind him. He wasn't as dim as Liam seemed to think he was. 'I know your game Liam, try to taunt me into punching you. I have no idea what your thinking behind that is? I don't know why you've taken such a dislike to me but I think you should do one.’

Liam was doubled over and proceeded to vomit profusely in the middle of the small green. 'You'll regret that you little prig.' Callum just smirked him, 'Settle down pint size and jog on.' Callum watched as the creep made his way across the square to the tube station, trying unsuccessfully to control his breathing. He could feel a panic attack come upon him and he knew if he didn't successfully control it, he could end up passed out in the middle of the square. He hated to feel so vulnerable but his new flat wasn't so far away, he had the keys, and if he could get inside he would be able to sit down and try some breathing exercises. Somehow he made it to the flat without drawing attention to himself and he settled down with the exercises the counsellor had given him. Within an half an hour he was back to himself and he congratulated himself on managing to deal with the situation. He'd been going to a few sessions a month now and they were paying dividends. Now that he was settled after the incident with Liam, he began to wonder why the hell he had been so confrontational. He slowly made his way back to the Vic, hoping for no further run-ins and let himself in quietly. As he started to organise his meagre belongings he managed to put it all to the back of his mind, throwing himself into packing.

It didn't take long to pack so Callum further distracted himself by ensuring that the room was spotless. He was so grateful to Jay for organising the flat. Sure it was a bit morbid - a flat above an undertakers - but he was used to morbidity since his army days so it didn't bother him in the slightest. As his grandfather always said to him sagely - you have nothing to worry about from the dead. It's the living you have to worry about. He smiled wistfully thinking about his dearly departed granddad. He was everything good about his younger years, he only wished that he could have lived to see how well he was doing now. Thinking about his grandfather made him wonder how his brother Stuart was doing and having a chat with him was a good way to distract himself further so he sent him a quick message to check whether he was able to talk.

'Alright bruv. I miss you so much but I just wanted to see your face. Ain't technology amazing.' Stuarts large bald head filled the phone screen and Callum had to hold back a giggle at the absurdity of it. He had to admit to himself that his brother looked good, the colour had returned to his cheeks and he had put some weight back on, a very good sign that he was recovering. 'How are you getting on Stu? You're looking great.' His brother smiled, delighted his baby brother could notice the change in him, 'Oh mate, I'm feeling good you know. For the first time in ages I'm feeling good about myself. I've been able to work through some stuff about ya know the stuff that happened when I younger. The anger I have with dad and mum. Yeah I'm not there yet bruv but I'm getting there.' Callum could feel the guilt build inside him. Stuart had provided so much protection to him when he was younger, at great cost to his older brother, 'I'm so proud of you Stu. I'm always here for you mate. No matter what alright?' His brother beamed, the call lifting his spirits. 'That means so much Cal. I've read all the reviews for that place your cooking for by the way. Amazing. Congrats bruv.' Callum grins widely, delighted that despite everything that has been going on in Stuart's life, he has being keeping abreast of Callum's career. 'Thanks Stu, that means so much ya know. Have you heard from dad at all?' Stuart grimaces, 'Nah, not a dicky. Better off though ain't I?'

After the conversation with Sturt, Callum had the bright idea that maybe it might be a could idea to reach out to their father. To let him know how well Stuart was doing in rehab and maybe to fill him in on how Callum was doing in the restaurant. He moved into his new flat in record time and made his way to the station. It was only a few stops to his dad's place although he hadn't seen him in a few years. He opened the door to his dad's flat, unlocked as usual, although there was nothing to steal anyway. It smelled of stale beer and sweat. Nothing unusual for Jonno Highway. Callum could feel his stomach sink. 'Alright prissy pants. Wot you doing here. Going to disappoint me some more are you.' Instantly Callum regretted his decision, Jonno was laid out on the filthy couch surrounded by empty beer cans and mouldy food. There was an unhealthy sheen on his face, a yellowish tinge, that hinted at the damage he was doing to his liver. 'When are you going to be a real man and bring home a girlfriend. Even a dog would do at this stage.' Jonno laughed at his own joke, trying unsuccessfully to move himself up to sitting. Callum stayed silent taking in his surroundings wondering how himself and his brother managed to survive being brought up by this man. No wonder Stuart had suffered so much with addiction issues. He takes a big breath, 'Thought you might want to know that Stu is doing really well in rehab.'

'Oh that dolt. Better off putting him down. He's almost as big a disappointment as you. At least he knows how to get his end away though.' Yet again he leaves his dad's feeling like a mistake, like something his dad has stepped in. Callum feels stupid, why did he think it would be any different. He tries to tidy the flat a bit, listens to his dad's diatribes about him being a sap, a div, soft, not a man, a disappointment, a mistake ... and then leaves feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. Just this small conversation with his father is enough to eradicate all the hard work he done with his counsellor over the last couple of months. On his way back to his new abode he decides that he better grab a few essentials in the Minute Mart. He drudges his way around and as he's paying up he's jumped on by an excited blond seven year old. She instantly improves his mood and he looks around for her mum Lola but is met with the charismatic blue eyes of Ben. Raw from his run-in with Liam and his visit with his father he makes his excuses and legs it as soon as he can, not confident enough that he maintain the facade of happy-go-lucky Callum Highway.

As always he throws himself back into work and as a result of his experience with Jonno he tries to ignore Ben as best he can. He makes sure they are never alone together again, even bringing Keegan along to a tasting menu session. He notices Ben's devastation, he thinks that look will stay with him forever. In fact he feels it too, even if he is the person causing it. As they had gone through the menu in their meeting the guilt overwhelmed him, especially when he showed Ben the revised menu. The quiet devastation in Ben along with his kindness and politeness made Callum want to embrace him. He could feel himself start to sink into a pit of despair, a pit of his own making, the panic beginning to build ... the mask beginning to fall. However as always Ben centred him ... made him feel balanced and calm. At the end of the meeting as himself and Keegan left, he mentally made a note to himself to return the original dishes to their proper place on the tasting menu.

Whitney is hanging out around the kitchen again, constantly throwing doe eyes at Callum. Tubbs corners him one day as he's filleting the plaice for the evening, 'Mate seriously what's taking you so long? Ask her out! She's constantly making excuses to come into the kitchen.' Callum mind whirls, trying to think of an excuse, any excuse. 'Nah mate, why would she be into me. She's beautiful.' He knows it's weak. Even a blind man could see how into Callum Whitney was. On a whim Callum engages in a conversation with her, spurred on by the talk he had with his father, 'Whit do you fancy a drink tomorrow, just you and me, in the Vic around six?' She looks at him elated, 'Oh Callum I'd love to, I can't wait!'

The day of the date arrived and Callum woke up incredibly nervous. He headed to the Vic around five so he could have some Dutch courage and a chat with Mick to allay his fears. 'Halfway my son, we haven't seen you in a bit. How ya getting on?' Callum nods at Mick and makes his way to the bar. 'Great thanks Mick. Can I have a pint please and a whiskey chaser?' Mick could see something wasn't quite right with Callum, it being unusual for him to drink anything but beer. 'Ya alright Highway? Not like you to have whiskey this early in the day.' Callum feels exposed, like Mick can see right through him, but he still attempts a mask of joviality. 'Yeah just a bot nervous ain't I, I've got a date with Whit in around fifty minutes. Lucky me ay?' The landlord looks shocked and quirks his head at the chef, 'Halfway are you sure this is wise. She's a cracker girl mate, don't get me wrong. But I feel quite protective of the lass since everything that happened with Lee and well don't get me wrong or anything ... thing is she doesn't seem like your type.' Callum knocks back the shot and most of the pint, 'Why wouldn't she be? She's a lovely girl and we get on. Pop another pint on will ya Mick and another one of these?' He waves the empty whiskey glass in the air. Mick shakes his head sadly, worried for his surrogate son and for Whitney's happiness.

After another thirty minutes, Whitney arrived and she looked stunning. Well he assumed she did, she looked nice, immaculately put together, everything in the right place. But his heart wasn't jumping out of his chest or anything like they say it should be. He'd had a few by this stage so he just smiled and nodded in the right places in the conversation, letting Whitney take the lead. He managed to get off the stool without falling over, giving Whitney a chaste kiss on the lips. She smiled but couldn't help but notice that Callum seemed the worse for wear. They sat down in a nearby booth and made small talk, Callum trying desperately to be interested in Whitney's conversation but finding it increasingly difficult as the effects of the alcohol began to make themselves known. He tried to mostly stick to talking about work, hoping he could loose himself in his passion for his craft. Normally this worked but tonight a spanner was to be thrown into the works ... Ben Mitchell. 

As soon as he saunters into the pub Callum feels his throat go dry, his heart began to thump and as usual feels incredibly drawn to him ... his magnetism evident immediately. God, he looked good. He looked pissed off as well ... _why does he look even hotter when he's annoyed_. Callum couldn't stop staring at him. He tried not to be noticed looking at Ben, but Mick and even Whitney could't help but notice. He kept trying to glance surreptitiously but the more the alcohol pulsed through his system the more obvious it became. He was aware that Whitney was talking to him and he hoped that he was smiling and nodding in the right places but from her arched eyebrows he knew that he most definitely hadn't. 'Ah so do you like waitressing?' Callum sputtered. 'Eh no I was just saying I thought waitressing was alright but long term I wanted to get into fashion design. I'm going to try and get a pitch on the market when I've got enough stock made. Were you listening to me at all in the last ten minutes Callum?' He feels mortified but before he can explain himself Ben is walking past then, 'Blimey Whit not your usual type.' Once he's thrown the insult, Ben is off like a rocket, straight into the toilets. Whitney pales and tries in vain to laugh off the comment. 

She begins to softly sob, 'He always knows where to hit where it hurts the most. He's alright most of the time ya know, he's a good boss, but he has this mean streak. Ha ... the patented Mitchell charm.' She places her face into her hands and her embarrassment is palpable to Callum. He feels for her, he also feels guilty and there's something else building .... anger ... anger towards Ben at his obvious attempt to disparage her and make her feel small. Callum takes her hand and rubs his thumb over her knuckle trying to soothe the hurt Ben had so obviously caused. Whitney begins to lean towards him and he knows what's coming. He quickly takes his pint and downs half of it, 'Right so I'll have a little chat with him. We can't have him saying stuff like that and getting away with it. It's not on!'

Callum jumps up and marches into the toilets. As soon as he sees Ben he wants to either punch him or rip his clothes off. Ben stand there cockily but Callum can make out the slight vulnerability beneath the mask. It confuses him. He feels so many conflicting emotions; mostly anger and horniness. He keeps glancing from from Ben's lips to the toilet stall, shocked at the thoughts that are now swirling in his mind. 'Can't stay away from me can you,' Ben smirks at him and his blood begins to boil. In his mind he's shouting - _oh course I bloody well can't, you're all I think about!_ \- but all he does is try to let the anger win over his lust. His lust and his deep-seated affection for Ben almost wins out when Ben's shows his vulnerability - but Callum Highway's stubborn and he just wants to bolt. This was a mistake - he was in the lions den and temptation was almost winning out. The sadness on Ben's face is drawing Callum towards the shorter man ... he must resist.

He eventually manages to leave, pushing past Ben seeing the obvious hurt in the other man's eyes, and moves back to sit with Whitney. He feels so worked up, his blood is boiling so he downs the rest of his pint. 'Hey Mick you wouldn't stick another one on for me, would you .. ta?' Whitney sits confusedly in front of Callum, 'You didn't have to confront him Callum. He's obviously upset you. Sorry that you had to see that side of Ben. He has gotten better over the years ya know. Liam's been the making of him.' While Whitney is trying to calm Callum down, he can make out from the corner of his eye the younger mans exit from the Vic. He feels devastated as he sees Ben struggle to control his emotions. Suddenly what Whitney had said makes him bristle, 'Eh Liam's a total controlling prick Whit. That's completely obvious to anybody who has been in his company for more than five minutes. Plus Ben sorted himself out by all accounts. So it was nothing to do with Liam. In fact in my opinion, Ben has managed to do all this despite Liam.' Whitney just sits back with her palms raised out towards Callum, 'Alright sorry. Liam just seemed like a great guy to me that's all. Where's all this coming from anyway. A minute ago you were ready to knock Ben into next week and now .... Oh no ... I'm an idiot ain't I?'

Callum felt the air leave his body and the beginnings of a panic attack starting to build, 'What do you mean Whit?' His eye began to dart to and fro, looking for any escape but the pub was quiet and Mick had disappeared to the other side of the bar getting Callum his pint. 'How haven't I seen it sooner ... I should have bloody realised. You were just too good to be true. You .... Ben .... obviously both like each other.' Suddenly Callum feels ok. Whitney isn't shouting at him. She's not disgusted with him. Sure she looks disappointed but she doesn't hate him. What the hell was he doing here? Things were slowly beginning to become clearer to him. The obvious attraction to Ben and the complete absurdity of the charade that he was currently trying to pull off.

'You're not an idiot Whit. You're amazing actually. You deserve the world. You deserve much better than this. I'm so sorry .. I shouldn't have dragged you into this .... act for want of a better word.' Callum begins to cry, letting all his pent up emotion out. It's funny but it feels cathartic, like something he should have faced sooner rather than trying to allow the wicked brew of toxic masculinity of Jonno Highway prevail.

'It is Ben isn't it. I've at least got that right? That's why he's so annoyed and said what he said. Bloody hell, that's why Chantelle tried to warn me off ya. Thought she was just paranoid about me jumping into a relationship with my ex-husband's best friend. And you know when I say that out loud ... doesn't sound good does it. Ha.' Callum chuckles along with Whitney. They may not be in a 'relationship' but he thinks they are developing an amazing friendship. He says simply, 'Yeah it's Ben ... well and plus I'm pretty sure I'm gay.' From the other side if the bar, Mick cannot help but overhear their conversation. He smiles to himself, delighted that Callum has finally found the strength to say it out loud. Whitney holds him as he sobs and she kindly strokes him back, 'Best friends though yeah,' she smiles, 'Look I'm gonna get you a pint of water instead of a pint of beer and then once you've settled a bit you can decide if you want to go talk to him or not ... alright.' He smiles slightly and nods in agreement. 

It's two hours later as he makes his way across the square, the guilt of how he treated Ben begins to weigh heavily on his mind. He decides he needs to talk to him, to apologise. As he crosses the square he nearly walks into the path of a BMW that luckily was only crawling along the road. He waves an apology and quickly he runs to the front step and knocks on the door, scared if he procrastinates any longer he'll bottle and leg it home. The door is opened slowly, Ben's pissed-off face clearly evident. Callum gets the apology in quickly and nervously, hoping that Ben can find it in his heart to forgive him. And Ben being Ben, forgives him instantaneously, making Callum feel comfortable despite everything. The alcohol was still firing in his system and he could tell that Ben was in a similar situation, so was happy of the offer of coffee. The simple gesture was enough to settle some of Callum's nerves. Then they settled back into what had been their 'thing' before, easy conversation with a hint of something else underneath it all. They chatted about the break-up, Callum's run-in with Liam and some guy called Paul. In the back of his mind Callum knows the name is familiar but he cannot quite place it. Soon the subject of the staff night out reared it's head and Callum could feel his anxiety build again. Deep down he knows Ben is right, that moment was special and they probably should have been dowsed in ice water but after years of being told who he truly was inside was wrong, it's hard for him to be himself still. Ben makes him feel alive inside, he can't deny that no matter what. He wants him, plain and simple, mind, soul and body - the whole package. And before he knows it, oiled by the alcohol, the words slip out - I just want to rip your clothes off and fuck you against that ridiculous counter top.

He doesn't know how it happened, how he, Callum Highway ,said that. But a huge part of is delighted, mostly because of the look of pure happiness on Ben's face. Slowly, inch by inch, Ben is coaxing him out of his shell. Shortly thereafter they are kissing and grinding up against each other by that ridiculous countertop and Callum feels free ... finally free. He's not ready for the whole 'package' as yet but for the first time in his memory he is sure of who he is and who he wants. In his mind he thinks back to so many missed opportunities from his youth, and he is somewhat regretful, but if it has all led to Ben, it has got to be worth it. He is nervous about his inexperience but Ben makes him feel confident and wanted. The effects of the alcohol begin to slowly wear off as he sits on the couch with Ben watching some ludicrous action movie, that he secretly loves. They are draped across each other, kissing gently and enjoying each other's company. It feels like everything he has ever been missing and part of it scares him. If this is how it feels without even going on a date, what happens if Ben suddenly decides he's not worth the hassle. But Ben's warm body and kisses make him forget his fears .... momentarily. By the end of the night both men reluctantly part but before Callum leaves they agree to a date for the next Monday. Already Callum can feel his excitement build. They kiss chastely at Ben's front door and he makes his way back to his flat.

The night is crisp with a cool breeze hinting at the beginning of autumn. Callum wraps his jacket closely and rams his hands into his pockets to keep them warm. The square is silent, save the odd person leaving the Vic to make their way home. In the distance he spies his flat and as he nears he feels the exhaustion beginning to build. He can barely stifle his yawns as he nears his destination. As he struggles to find his keys he hears something from down the alley beside his front door. The alley is pitch black. He stares into the dark, trying to focus enough to make out if there is anyone there. He can hear a strange noise, a scraping against the bricks of the building. The scraping seems to be getting closer and Callum can feel his heartbeat begin to thump. He quickly fumbles with his keys trying to get his tired fingers to work. Scrape ... scrape .... scrape. Then he can hear the wheezing ... someone breathing deeply and harshly. The noises are nearing ... scrape ... scrape ... and clumsily in his panic Callum drops his keys. He drops to his knees to grab them and as he does the beast from the alley appears. A mangy looking dog holding a half empty food can in his mouth - the scraping coming from him hitting it against the brick wall. Before he can see if he can check the dog for a collar, he runs off across the square out of his sight. As he looks in the direction of where he's run off to, wondering if he should take off after him, he spots a strange lanky man dressed in black staring at him. The man is young, thuggish looking, and as he smiles at Callum he notices a missing tooth. Callum feels his agitation begin to build again but manages to find the right key and quickly gets into his apartment. Before he heads upstairs he ensures everything is locked up tight. His heart is thumping, panic still crawling under the surface of his skin, threatening to spill over and consume him. Callum sits down on his bed and begins his breathing exercises and soon he is relaxed enough to get ready to sleep for the night.

The day of their date arrived after a long week punctuated by hot make out sessions and one particularly steamy session in Ben's office. Callum finds himself smiling to himself as he gets ready for their date, smiling at the memory of the their antics in Ben's office over the week. It was a shame they were caught by Chantelle but she had taken him aside later in the day, 'Don't worry mate I won't say anything about earlier. But maybe next time lock the doors right.' She laughs and Callum felt his face go crimson with embarrassment. She stroked down his arm smiling gently at him, 'Look Callum I'm so happy for both of you. It's nice to see Ben with someone like you.' Chantelle's reaction to them both seeing each other buoys Callum, and makes him feel even more confident. For the fourth time since he's stood in front of his mirror, Callum changes his outfit yet again.

For the first time in his life, he gets what people are talking about when they talk about first date nerves, when they talk about the honeymoon phase. Finally he gets to experience it all, and if it ignores the tiny voice in the back of his head telling him he doesn't deserve this happiness, he can enjoy himself. He can loose himself in the while amazing experience. Being with Ben is everything he thought it would be, and it's only been a week. He was already looking forward to their second date and this one hadn't even begun! He loved how Ben was happy with taking things slowly at Callum's own pace. It made him feel comfortable and was helping to build his confidence.

As usual he arrived ridiculously early for the date. He spies Ben in the distance jumping off the bus and he feels deliriously happy. The sun is shining bright in the sky and it's the absolute mirror of how he feels. As he watches the other man almost jog towards him he feels incredibly lucky. Ben looks incredibly sexy, dressed in maroon shirt and tight black jeans, Callum feels lucky and can't wait to gets his arms around him. He jogs towards him and dips down to kiss him on the lips, savouring the woody scent of Ben's cologne. He grabs his hand and pulls him towards the bowling alley.

'Strike! Yes! Talk about natural talent eh?' Benn says smugly strutting confidently towards Callum. He's not sure how he's managed it but Ben is almost on the same score as him despite being absolutely terrible at throwing the bowling ball. Callum cannot believe his luck or his arrogance, both of which make him even more attractive if that was possible. 'You are such a jammy git. How the hell did you manage that! By rights the way you threw it, it should have ended up three lanes down. So lucky!' Ben beams at him, wrapping his arms around Callum's waist and staring up into his eyes, 'You better believe I'm lucky. Look at the lad I've managed to bag. Fit as fuck!' He enunciates the last word slowly, pulling Callum down into a deep passionate kiss. The date is filled with moments like this; good natured banter, some deep and meaningfuls and lots of serious necking. To Callum, it's all amazing, the experience he's been missing out on all his life finally a reality. 'So about tomorrow. night, why don't we get off early from work and I can cook ya something for dinner. Couple glasses of wine, maybe a cheesy movie and then well .. then ... maybe I could stay the night? What do ya think?' Callum feels nervous, and excited. Ben pulls him into a tight embrace and whispers up into his ear, 'I'd love that Cal. Tonight has been amazing. Best. Date. Ever! Can't wait for tomorrow night already.' They make their way across the square, blind to their surroundings, eyes only for each other. Callum's escorts Ben to his door and kisses him gently on the lips, lulled by the softness of Ben's lips and the woody aroma of his scent.

He feels enveloped in a warm cloud of joy as he crossed the square, throwing quick glances back at Ben, who looked similarly delighted. For the first time in his life he felt like himself, finally in the career he adored and he was pretty sure he was falling in love. Being with Ben made him feel whole, as well as incredibly turned on. Once inside his flat, he was shocked to spy a brown envelope on the table. No markings, not even his own name. He opens it slowly confused about how it managed to land in his coffee table. Out falls on piece of paper with one word typed neatly in the middle - Hercules. The envelope flutters to the ground and he crumbles the paper into a ball in his hand. He closes his eyes and it all comes back to him .... 

Callum can feel the blood pulsing in his skull, can feel cold sweat dripping from his brow. He rushes to find a paper bag and begins to breath in and out trying to soothe his nerves. As he managed to control his panic attack, gripping the paper between his fist, he hears pounding on the door below followed by the buzzer being pushed manically. He mutters, ‘No it’s not possible .... they can’t be here ... no ... please ... please ... god no!’ 

He buzzes the person in and waits sitting down, hand on the baseball bat he keeps hidden under the couch, trying to look calm. He looks from the side of eye as the person bursts open the door and breathes a sigh of relief. It’s Ben! He steps up from the couch, about to run to Ben and gather him in his arms, until he spies the photos he is holding. Ben is looking at him, tears in his eyes, ‘What the hell Cal. These are war crimes! Who are you?’

Callum collapses on the couch, head in hands. He feels the tears fall through the cracks in his fingers. Eventually he looks up at Ben, heartbroken to see such anger and disappointment in his face. He must explain. He has to, so he begins, ‘Sit down please and I’ll tell you everything. I’ll tell you everything about Hercules Security.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this chapter but I had so much to try and fit in to get it make some sense. Hopefully it won't take as long to post the next update.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hercules Security

_'I'll tell you everything about Hercules Security'_

Time ticks by slowly. It's been over five minutes since Callum made his mysterious statement and so far hasn't been able to add anything more to the so-called Hercules Security. Ben can feel his patience begin to wear thin, 'Look Callum can you please tell me what the actual fuck is going on! I'm about to lose it here and to tell you the truth the longer you're taking to explain, the more I think you're just coming up with an excuse. I'm not gonna be some mug.' He rubs his eyebrows to try and ease the stress headache that's building.

Callum looks up at him, his eyes raw from tears, 'I'm an awful person Ben, you deserve better than me. My dad was right, I am pathetic ... a mistake. Because if I was a better person I wouldn't have made such big mistakes with my life.' Ben stands rubbing his temples fervently trying hard to keep his cool, but feeling on the edge, one short step from legging it. In his mind he thinks of all the times he made excuses for Liam and he'll be damned if he makes the same mistakes again. He's nobody's fool no more. 'Callum I'm going to be generous and give you fifteen minutes to explain what the hell is going on in these photos. I'm your employer and want to make sure that I haven't hired a psychopath.' It feels cruel to make such a statement but Ben is trying desperately to maintain his cool.Â Callum shoots Ben a look, obviously pained by the statement, and Ben needs to step back, his face the picture of devastation and despair. 'Ok ... I suppose I always knew this day would eventually come. But please let me explain from the beginning. Maybe it might explain where my head was at ya know. Would that be ok?' Ben nods his agreement but he feels numb.

'Ahem ok well I suppose it all started when I was a teenager. I joined the army straight out of school. For lots of reasons but mostly to try and prove to my dad that I was worth something. I always felt like I didn't fit in ya know. Not just because of my sexuality but there was other stuff. My mum, well she left when I was barely out of nappies, and I always thought it was my fault ya know. No matter what my brother Stuart said, I let my dad get into my head, and blamed myself for everything; mum leaving, dad being a mess, Stuart having to give up everything to look after me and even my grandad getting sick.'Â 

Ben moved closer to Callum but still remained standing. His anger still boiled under the surface but a small part of him couldn't help but feel for the man in front of him. He knew the effect of a disjointed upbringing but still something nagged him, 'Eh that's well and good Callum, but that doesn't really explain the pictures does it?' Callum looked up at Ben, his eyes brimming with tears, 'I know. I know it doesn't. I'm everything you think I am and worse. But please let me tell you everything. I owe you that much ... please?' Ben swallows the lump in his throat ... terrified of the truth but unable to leave without knowing everything. He nods his agreement.

'As I said, when I joined the army I was young and inexperienced ... inexperienced at everything. I was running away from so much in my life, my dad, school bullies and my sexuality. I always thought I had to prove myself. I trained as a chef because underneath it all that's what I wanted to do with my life. At least that way I would be doing something I loved and I could still try and prove that I was a real man. That was the mantra my dad used to beat into me 'Be a man!' And I mean beat, sometimes daily whenever my brother wasn't around or whenever I couldn't hide at my grandad's. Even my poor grandad, he unwittingly did the same but in a nicer way I suppose. He was a war hero ya know ... loads of medals. Haunted by what he saw but a hero nonetheless. He saved so many lives during the war and he was just so lovely. I wanted to be exactly like him. Everyone thought he was a diamond geezer and he was, but he got sick and then I didn't have anywhere I could hide anymore.' Callum snuffled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He slouched further and put his head between his knees. A part of Ben thawed at seeing the obvious pain the other man was experiencing. He fought back the urge to go forward and hold him. Out of the corner of his eye, under the couch, he noticed a baseball bat. He stepped back a little, shocked and curious about what Callum needed a concealed weapon for. He stored away the information for later not wanting to disturb the flow of Callum's story.

'Army training was surprisingly great. The routine, the drills and the banter were what I needed. I never had that stability growing up and suddenly I had it every day. Get up at 6, run, drills, lunch, arms training, run, dinner and then bed. It made ignoring my inner demons so much easier. The only problems I had were when I had to pretend to fancy lasses ... then it got difficult .. trying to pretend I was into them too when I was still a virgin ... and ya know gay.' Callum chuckles lightly to himself, the laughter devoid of joy and filled instead filled to the brim with sadness. Ben can feel the ice melt a little more but still holds himself back. He needs to know more. He has to know more. He remains stern and locks away any emotion behind a facade of disdain. Callum takes a deep breath and continues.

'Basics flew by and then it was culinary training. And things got even better. It made me feel alive and finally not just good .. but great at something. The people I met ... I just clicked with them and I didn't have to pretend to be something else. Not that I could admit who I really was .. but I didn't have to lie about sleeping with girls or having a girl waiting at home for me. We talked about food, about new recipes .. about Anthony Bourdain and how cool he was. Just chef stuff ya know. It felt nice.' For the first time since Ben barrelled into the flat Callum is smiling and Ben feels his heart ache. Despite this happiness, he knows soon he will know the awful story behind the pictures in his grasp.

'While I was there I briefly met this guy called Chris. He taught us desserts one day, but I could feel a connection. The connection. Hmmm and it .. well and it turned out we both would be sent out to Afghanistan together which I was so excited about.' He huffs a laugh and rubs his hand over his hair trying to work it back into a wilted quiff. 'So we're out there and it's mostly fine ya know. You get close to people ... people you normally wouldn't. Cos you're all in it together. It's claustrophobic ... no matter how quiet it is you still feel that tension in the air. Like anything could happen and there's nothing that can prepare you for it. No amount of training can prepare you for life out there.' Callum bites his lips and for the first time looks at Ben directly in the eyes. He looks haunted and Ben can't look away from him. He stares deeply at him and Ben can feel a shiver run up his spine. For the first time since he's gotten here, all Ben wants to do is kiss Callum. Kiss him and tell him everything is going to be ok. He shakes his head ... no ... no ... he can't forget the pictures. Callum licks his lips, bites again at the lower making it rosy and inviting. Ben can't stop staring at the other man's mouth, his own watering at the thought of just taking those first few steps and ... , 'Ahem, ok ... still how does that lead to uhm .. this', Ben flashes the photos in front of Callum's face and watches as he pales at the images. 'I know it doesn't sound like it yet but it will make some kind of sense .. I hope.' Callum clears his throat and begins again.

'He was amazing, Chris. He took me under his wing, taught me the ropes ya know. Fancied the pants off him to be honest but I was in so much denial it never went anywhere. I was lucky ya know. I spent most of my time in the kitchen and loved it. The banter was great and the troop were amazing. I really felt part of something important. You know the old adage - an army marches on its stomach - well, it's true. Just seeing someones face after a long patrol after they taste a little bit of home .... well it stays with you ... Â makes you feel important. Well he worked in the kitchen with me as I said and we were a great team. The tension was still there in the air .. Â day after day ... tour after tour ... it never goes away. And sometimes .. well sometimes things go wrong and we have a bad day. Most of time I got lucky .. what with being in the kitchen and that. But once ... well one time is all it takes to change your life forever.' Ben doesn't realise he's been holding his breath until he feels the tightness in his chest begin to build. He catches himself and quickly recomposes ready for the Callum's next onslaught on his emotions.

'OneÂ day I volunteered to help cover a detail, something we were trained for and told might happen. We were on a small base so it was expected but rarely happened. Just had to help do a simple sweep of a nearby area, nothing too crazy and normally danger free. But something was building, everyone was feeling it. Things had being going too smoothly ... too easily for a while now. It was a small market, Â mostly food and stuff, just a small number of locals. Â Mostly women and children. It happened so quickly ... one moment we're walking by a car and the next minute it's exploded. I could feel the heat straight away but I didn't notice the huge hunk of metal sticking out my side. Think adrenaline was getting me through. I was paired with a guy called Rob and uhm .. sorry just give me a sec.' Callum brought both his hands to his mouth and rubbed them up and down, tears streaming from his eyes. 'One second we're joking and the next he's lying there with no legs. I can't get that image out of my head Ben ... no matter how hard I try and that's not the worse part of it. So I run to him and try to tie a tourniquet on his legs .. . ya know ... keep him talking and Rob is completely lucid ... don't know how but he is. He keeps pointing to the car and the building beside it which is in flames. I keep trying to get him to keep still but he keeps gesturing.' Callum stops again and Ben cannot help himself any more. He moves and kneels down in front of him, both hands laid on his knees. Callum smiles gently down at him, grateful for the gesture.

'I looked over and there was a woman and young child trapped in the building. Even with what happened to him, Rob was always thinking of others. There was so much smoke and I noticed that the building was about to collapse. The woman was trapped ... there was no way of getting her out on time. Her eyes ... they'll stay with me. The resignation. In that brief moment I have never met someone braver. Her child was clung to her, sobbing. The girl she must have been 3 or 4, hard to say, but young. The woman gestured to her with her eyes and I knew what she wanted. I picked up the child and ran, I couldn't look back. The child tried to wriggle out of my grip and it was only then I noticed my injury. When I heard the building collapse ... the child she screamed ... it was unearthly. I fell to the ground then and I blacked out. Next time I opened my eyes I was back at base in the hospital tent and bandaged up. Rob had been flown out to a hospital nearby.' Ben slowly rubbed circles in Callum's knees, tears streaming down his face at his story. Still, he knew there was more to this tale of woe.

'I got home after I got injured after a few months of rehab and I felt adrift ya know. The army was all I knew for so long. I moved back in with my dad ...didnâ€™t really have much of an option at the time cos my brother Stu was awol. Or thatâ€™s what I thought. I was caught up in this cycle of guilt and shame. Dad was constantly in my ear asking me when was I going to re-enlist. When was I going to man up. Eventually I recovered from the injury but when I went to the army doctor he couldnâ€™t sign me off - too much nerve damage. I felt like such a failure. My dad well he was drinking more and more ... becoming more unpredictable. I stopped eating ... started to drink a bit too much myself to be honest. My mate Chris was still on tour at the time but he had some time off and we arranged to meet. The look on his face when we met for a drink. Don't blame him ... Â I must of looked a right picture. He sorted my head out a bit. Told me to get my act together so I started to cook in a local pub and I started working out any other minute of the day. It worked. Well, it helped me put back on the mask. But I still lived with my dad and every day with him was torture. Just words but poisonous.' Ben nodded knowingly, remembering his younger days when he struggled with own identity. Remembering the digs; both verbal and physical, from his father. He understood Callum in so many ways but was still blind to how all this led to the barbarity of what he saw in the pictures.

'Before he went back Chris convinced me to visit Rob in the hospital. He was back in for another op and more physio. I dreaded it. ... the visit. I felt culpable even though I wasn't the one who planted the bomb in the market. I just blamed myself for not being a better soldier. I remember the day so vividly. I didn't sleep the night before and I think I must of stood outside the hospital for an hour before I could muster up the courage to go in. When I got there Rob was surprising. He looked amazing. In much better shape than me. He was sat up in the bed, flirting with all the nurses and I felt so guilty for wasting all my time feeling sorry for myself when Rob was obviously not. He was just getting on with life. Now I know different if you get me ... you see now I know how long it took Rob to get to that point from talking to him more recently. I just saw the end product of a lot of work, a lot of therapy, both mental and physical. At the time though I was still so immature, so naive. I couldn't see that other people wore a mask too ... it wasn't just me that needed to.' Ben moved up and sat next to Callum, placing one hand on the other man's leg. With each reveal Ben could feel they were nearing the truth. He couldn't help himself .. the need to touch Callum. With anyone else he would have told them to do one but this man in front of him made him feel things he had before felt in his life. Callum continued buoyed by this small piece of affection.

'I visited Rob a couple of times while he was recouping from his op. Chris had gone back to Afghanistan for his final tour of duty at that stage. I missed him and I could feel myself slide back into old habits once his good influence was gone. The Carters had moved years ago so I no longer saw them and my brother was deep in a very bad drug addiction. I only had work, Rob, the gym and dad. Now I know that I needed to have counselling ... something I do regularly now. At the time I thought it would be wussing out, more words of poison from my dad. Well the last time I visited Rob, another ex-army mate was there, Smithy - David Smith. We weren't super friendly in Afghanistan but ya know when you see someone from back then ... well you have a tenuous bond sometimes. He was a tosser to tell you the truth ... Â a homophobic, racist, misogynistic piece of shit. Honestly he actually reminded me of my dad. I wasn't too sure why he was visiting Rob because when I got there he looked like he wanted the bed to swallow him up. Smithy was bragging about a new job. He'd been discharged dishonourably from the army ya see for something pathetic I think - stealing a laptop or some shit. But here he was acting the big man talking about how him and a few of the others got hired by a private security firm and the money was amazing. I just sat on the outskirts of the conversation barely taking it in until he asked me if I wanted in. I just said yeah ... without thinking .... without really thinking anything at all ... I just agreed.' Callum stopped talking and began to breathe heavily. Ben could hear the breaths becoming shallower and more erratic. Quickly Ben jumped up and opened a window, stopping in the kitchen to grab a glass of water. 'Ok Cal love please concentrate on me. Look at me ok. Breath with me.' Slowly and together they began to mirror each other and Callum could feel himself begin to settle. 'Here have some of this Cal.' Ben watched as the other man gulped the whole glass down.

Both men looked at each other, knowing that this was it. This was either the beginning or the end of them, both professionally and relationship-wise. The flat was steeped in a tense silence, Â the lights from the square flickering against the living room wall. Ben took stock of his surroundings for the first time since he entered the flat. The decor was the same as he remembered; pink with a garish floral wallpaper, in stark contrast to the seriousness of the current conversation. He briefly remembered times he spent here in his deceased friend Paul's company and how the friendship was cut short so cruelly. He shook his head at the memories and concentrated back in on Callum, readying himself for the next part of the story.

'My dad was over the moon and I hightailed it out of that flat as soon as I could for the 'training' prior to assignment. When I got there - some beaten up farmhouse in the middle of nowhere in Scotland - the training was brutal, like something you'd see in the SAS. There were times I was tempted to quit but that voice in the back of my head telling me what a loser I'd be was always there. And I got through the four weeks ... battered and bruised but I got there. Some of the training was bizarre, like something you'd see in a schlocky spy movie; sweeping for bugs .. shit like that. But it kind of made sense when I got there.' Callum took another gulp of water and ran his fingers through his hair again.Â 

Soon we were all sent out to Libya.... I mean like right in the middle of nowhere. Even now I think I'd have difficulty locating it on a map. Everything seemed alright at first, nothing out of the ordinary for a country that was in transition but how was I to really know. I had no experience in this field before. It felt just like the army really. But the other blokes that were already stationed there ... well they were proper hardcore ex-military. Like guys you'd see in an Arnie movie ya know. We were based in this run down mansion, apparently some old army general's before the revolution, and it filled with top line technology as well as gold gilt toilets. At first we were contracted to mind local big wigs, normal security detail. The people in control were under constant threat from rebels so it wasn't out of the ordinary to be playing minder. Hmm .... but I often wondered how the hell they had so many guys for just security detail. Sometimes we'd be contracted also for surveillance but I was never part of any of that ... was still being trained in some of the new tech ... god knows what they were doing there. Let's just say as time went on I was beginning to suspect the company had a finger in a lot of pies, some of them definitely a little dodge but I didn't think it was anything so horrific.' Callum glances up at Ben and seems to steel himself further.

'One day we were tasked with covering a delivery of equipment from a settlement to a market, or at least thatâ€™s what they told us... they were really vague on specifics. It normally wasn't something the newbies did but a few of the tough-nuts were out of action with a stomach bug. The first indication something wasnâ€™t right was when we turned up to the settlement. It wasn't a town at all ... it was actually a migrant detention centre. It was colossal, much bigger than I expected one to be. The first thing that struck me was how the hell were you supposed to monitor a camp this size. It was vast ... and everyone there looked so resigned. I mean these people had trekked so long and the journey was so arduous and they ended up here. Everybody in this place was running from something awful and they ended up in these purgatories. You see there's load of these camps in Libya Ben ... I just never thought I would end up inside one doing what we were doing. We all alighted from the vehicles and our bosses disappeared into a big tent and it was then I noticed what we were actually doing.' Callum turned and looked at Ben, staring directly into his eyes. Ben could see the effort this was taking and was on tenterhooks.Â 

'The equipment, well it was actually medical supplies. I recognised the logos on the packages ... all aid from NGOs. They had waited until the charity had distributed the supplies and were now assisting a local militia who were going to sell the supplies on the black market. Basically we were guns for hire ... hired to protect the gang and transport the medical supplies to their depot. I felt sick ... and terrified. I knew then that these guys couldn't be completely legit and I'd gotten in bed with them. I'm an expert on putting on a show so I managed to hide my feelings about the whole thing. As we left the camp I looked back and I just saw all those faces looking at the packages leave ... I mean we stole people's lives. That's what those pictures are from.' Ben could feel his stomach turn. He looked at the front door and wondered should he leg it. As he looked back at Callum, he felt like he owed him another ten minutes before he made his final decision. There had to more to this story ... he hoped there was.

'We got back to base. Everyone delighted with the good job we did. I spent the evening vomiting from the vulgarity of it all. I didn't know what to do but I managed to make some excuse up of having to call home to check in about my brother and they bought it. I found a space and checked it for bugs and rang Chris, hoping he'd know what to do. God knows how he understood me .. I must of been a mess. He calmed me down and told me I needed to get out of there as soon as I could. I knew what I had to do but I had no idea how to escape. For the next couple of days it was back to the usual protection racket. In my head I was trying to work out an escape route but I didn't know the lie of the land. I could see it in the faces of a couple of the other rookies, that it didn't sit right with them, but I was too scared to sound it out. What if they told someone else ya know?' Â Callum huffed out another breath and stood up and started to pace the small living room.Â 

'So I spent the next few days researching the area and looking at maps, trying to figure out a route out of this mess. Then suddenly luck was on my side for a change. We were being moved to the main office in Tripoli for a few weeks. This was my opportunity. I managed to contact Chris again to let him know and we came up with a plan. He managed to get in contact with an aid agency in Tripoli and some human rights lawyers. He told them my story. The aid agency were going to help me out of the country and I was going to tell the lawyers everything I could about Hercules.' Even though he could see the man pacing before him, Ben's heart was in his mouth. There was also a huge part of him that was beginning to realise that perhaps Callum wasn't the villain the photos made him out to be. In fact Callum was soon appearing to be the exact opposite. And even though the man was pacing before him, his heart was still in his mouth at the excitement of the tale he was being told.

'Long story short we finally arrived in Tripoli to the main office and my plan kicked into gear. We were contracted to do some scouting for a rival militia in Tripoli in one of the slums. Somehow I managed to get word to the contacts Chris had found, using my brother as the excuse again, and then just waited for an opening. Â When we got to the slum I managed to break away from the main group and leg it to a waiting van from the aid agency. With every step I expected to hear that shot .. ya know. I kept expecting it, still do to be honest. A part of me thinks I deserve it. Â Anyway it happened so fast and they got me to the local airport and flew me out to Italy within a couple of hours. After that they put me in a safe house in a small town near Milan in northern Italy. It was more than I deserved. Before I got out ... in the last few weeks I was with Hercules ... I managed to gather a lot of intel and take pictures of a any documents I laid my hands on.' Ben finally found the strength to speak, astounded at the fortitude of the man before him, 'They could have killed you. Why did you take such a risk? If they had caught you taking those photos ... 'Â 

Callum stops pacing and smiles grimly at Ben, 'I had to ... I just had to. It was the only way I could make it up to those nameless faces. I had to help stop Hercules. I know they were just one small cog in a massive machine of corruption but I suppose in my stupidity I thought if we took Hercules down then it would all tumble down. But nothing's that simple is it?' Ben stood and guided Callum to sit down beside him again. â€˜You tried Cal, thatâ€™s what matters most. You could have just ignored what was happening but you risked your life as far as I can make out anyways. What happened after that?â€™

'Well the intel I gathered was really helpful in the end. They managed to build a case and things were looking good. I was kept in hiding until the court case and that was when the calls started. It would be the middle of the night and I would get the usual threatening calls ... threatening to kill my family. Thing is my mum has been gone since I was a kid, my brother was killing himself anyway and well ... my dad ... maybe a part me wanted them to follow through. Isn't that awful ... I thought Â was untouchable. Why would they even bother ... my family was basically a lost cause at that stage anyway. I was so stupid.' Tears stream down Callum's face, a look of pure devastation enveloping his whole body.

'It was night before the trial when I found out what they did. I didn't know it at the time but Chris had been home on leave, staying with his sister. He was driving on a straight road with no other traffic when he veered into a ditch. I knew ... I just knew straight away Hercules were responsible. At the time I had no idea how they found out about him. I still went ahead with the trial, it was the least I owed Chris for everything he did for me. Funny thing was the only person we could send to jail in the end was the accountant. He was their patsy. They got theirs though ... at least that's what I heard a few months later. They were in the process of trying to extort money from some traffickers when there was an artillery attack on the camp. All the bosses were killed ... at least that's what they told me. Smithy was with them apparently and he got killed in the explosion as well. I felt guilty about that until one of the lawyers told me that Smithy had risen up the company ranks quickly and had been involved in some arranging some seriously dodgy crimes ... human trafficking. It was then that I realised that's how they found out about Chris ... it had to have been Smithy who told them ... he was always taking the piss out of us.' Callum takes a moment and leans against the wall allowing the tears to flow .. allowing himself to mourn the loss of a love that never reached its potential. Ben feel his pain deep within him and cannot hold back any longer.. wanting to provide some kind of assurance to the brave soldier slumped in front of him. He walks towards him and gently rubs his hands down Callum's arms. He takes Callum's chin in his hand and tilts his head to get his attention.Â 

'I wish I was half the man that you were Cal. Those guys were animals. You were so brave ... like properly heroic. I don't know if I could have done what you did in that situation. I think we both know who's responsible for this little attack on us and I don't think it's the ghosts of those cretins. Is that why you've got that baseball bat under the couch ... you thought they were still kicking about?' Ben strokes Callum's jaw, trying to soothe the pain he is feeling, trying to make the taller man see how truly amazing he think he is.

'Yeah I think you're right. Liam made some glib remark a couple months back about human rights trials. I was just a bit preoccupied to think too much about it. The legal firm involved in the human rights case seemed to think the top brass were all pretty much wiped out after the attack on the camp but I always have this fear that there's still one of those assholes that managed to escape. The accountant ... he ended up 'disappeared' just before he was due to start his sentence. The firm thought he might have been involved in other scams with other criminals as well and those other players wanted to keep him quiet before he struck a deal ... but you never know do you ... ' Callum tailed off, looking into the distance, his mind obviously preoccupied with his past. He had a wistful look on his face and Ben felt he must have been thinking about what happened to Chris. A selfish part of Ben felt a little jealous at the reaction the deceased soldier was causing in Callum but he quashed all those unbidden feelings, 'It's not your fault what happened to your ... err .... 'friend' Chris. He obviously cared about you and if I was his shoes I would have done the same. Hell sounds like if it was you, you would have gone full on Jack Ryan.' Callum smiles and Ben feels delighted that he has broken some of the tension .. even if it is just for a moment. Callum's face suddenly drops, a look of sadness and loss suffusing his whole demeanour.

'You're being kind but ... god I'm such a fool aren't I. I keep messing everything up. I really understand if you don't want to see me anymore. I'm such a mess. I'll try and find another job if you could just give me a couple of weeks. It might be for the best. I'm bad luck to anyone who falls for me.' Ben shakes his head with incredulity. Callum really is the most modest and humble man he has ever had the pleasure to meet but he needs to make him see sense. He grabs Callum's hands, wrapping them in his own, drawing their faces and bodies closer together.Â 

He sniffs out a laugh, 'Fuck's sake Cal, after telling me you are basically a real life hero, you expect me to let you go. Not going to happen babe. I used to get in trouble all the time Cal ... serious trouble. I understand the pressures of parental expectation, especially when you're dad is acting like a homophobic prick. Although I must admit your dad makes my dad look like parent of the year. We're a lot alike aren't we. I think that's why we have such a connection. You get me ... and the thing is ... I get you too. You're not a coward. You're not a fool. Far from it. We make mistakes ... everyone does. But it's how we deal with those mistakes ... how we try to correct them ... how we ask for forgiveness ... that's what makes us who we are. And you Mr Highway did everything in your power to take these guys down. Chris did too. He knew the risks and he must have loved you to help you the way he did. I'm so lucky to even have met you, let alone have the possibility of a relationship with you. I came in here all gung-ho nearly fooled by another one of Liam's manipulations. I should be begging you for forgiveness ... for ever doubting you.' Callum looks up at him smiling, his first proper Callum, Â ray of sunshine smile, since Ben's been in the flat, 'Hey don't be silly. The photos are pretty damning. I wonder how the hell he managed to get hold of them and how the hell he managed to get into the flat though.' Ben taps Callum's hands with his fingers as he thinks, 'Hmmm think Liam has met plenty 'contacts' through his association with my dad.' They both stay silent, mulling over the reality of Liam intruding on their burgeoning relationship; Callum thinking of how he could protect Ben and Ben thinking of how he could get him out of their lives for good.

The flat fell silent save for the odd yell of a reveller outside the window but as the minutes ticked by the air grew thick with a different type of tension. Both men shook their heads out of their reveries and stared at each other. Ben licked his lips, transfixed with the way the streetlights played over Callum's face.Â He pounces on Callum pulling him into a deep and passionate kiss, hands exploring his entire body. Callum begins to laugh uncontrollably. 'Seriously Ben, after everything I told you, you still want to see me?' Ben looks down at Callum, 'Babe you are amazing and what's even better is that you don't even realise how truly astonishing you are. I mean you're pretty much like a real life Jason Bourne ya know. And that is really fucking hot.'Â 

Both men stumble into Callum's bedroom pausing briefly to passionately kiss outside the door, demolishing a table lamp in their fervour. Laughing they push each other onto the bed delighting in exploring each others mouths. Ben marvels at the feeling of Callum's body pressing up against him, revelling in the feeling of someone so tall and strong taking control. Callum holds Ben's head in both his hands and he feels rapt in the taller man's attention. They kiss deeply, tongues sliding against each other ... lips becoming swollen from the other's stubble. Even though the kisses become more frenzied and bruising, Callum is gently caressing Ben's jaw, Â coaxing him deeper into each kiss. Both men are still lying side by side, legs entwined and arms carressing every inch of the others body. Slowly they slow their kisses down each becoming more lingering and meaningful than the last. Eventually Callum is just stroking his face and Ben can do nothing but stare, hypnotised by the soothing motion and by the chasm of Callum's beautiful eyes. Callum gulps deeply and wets his lips, which are already blush pink from their kisses, 'I feel so much lighter Ben, didn't realise I needed to get that all out. Since I've met you ... well you've made me feel so much braver. I hope you know what effect you have on me.' He blushes lightly before he adds, 'Not just physically.' Ben giggles and brings his hand up to Callum's face cupping it gently, 'I've never had this ya know. It's not just a new experience for you. With you I feel like I could take on the world. Even when I saw those photos ... deep down inside I knew that the man I met was more than that. I've never done this with another man.' With that Callum quirked his eyebrows, 'Ahem Ben you've been out a lot longer than me. And plus well what about your dickhead ex?' Ben snuffles a laugh at Callum's description of Liam, 'Yeah yeah I know I've been out longer and all that. Plus my 'dickhead ex' as you politely put it. I guess what I mean is this ... what we're doing now ... just kissing and talking. And the other night when we just sat and watched tv and held each other. When I'm with you I don't have to put on a show or be all bolshy. There's no pretence ... it's just us .... just us together.' Callum smiles and kisses Ben gently, nipping softly on Ben's lower lip, causing the shorter man to groan. 'I like bolshy Ben. I love hearing you barter with vendors ... it makes me smile. This side of you ... I feel like I get it all to myself. I think I revealed more of myself to you than to any other person in my life. You're beautiful Ben ... inside and out. I don't think there's a part of you I'd change.'Â 

The kissing begins again in earnest. Soon clothes become slowly divested, each men adoring the slow reveal of the others body. They both still lay side by side, the dim light from Albert Square illuminating their bodies. Ben caresses his hand along Callum's side and as he reaches his hip his fingers find the tangle of scar tissue. Callum gasps and visibly tries to hide his embarrassment. 'Hey .. hey Cal. We've all got scars ... it's what makes us who we are. Sometimes they'e visible ... sometimes they're not. I think it's beautiful.' Ben lightly pushes Callum back so the taller man is lying on his back. Slowly Ben peppers light kisses down his torso delighting in the warmth of the other man's body. He stops as he nears Callum's hip, pausing to look at the man lying still on the bed. His fingers softly stoke the bumps and knots of the scar, 'This is you. This is what you'd do to protect a friend. This is what you'd do to help a stranger. You don't know how special you are Callum Highway. You don't know how beautiful you are.' Ben lowers his head and begins to press deep kisses to Callum's hip, nuzzling his nose and lips along the faded scar tissue, becoming intoxicated by the scent of Callum. Below him Callum gasps and groans, reacting pleasurably to Ben's ministrations. Ben takes a pause to look down at Callum, biting his lip, taking in the full view of the naked man before him. Every inch of the man below him is perfect in his eyes ... even the knot of scar tissue ... and especially the rather large erect cock that lies snuggly against the unscarred hip. He looks at Callum through hooded eyes, 'May I?' It comes out like a whisper ... as does Callum's reply, 'Please ... yes ... please.' Ben licks his lips and slowly strokes Callum's dick in his hand. He remembers from their office frolics how surprised he had been at the size but in the flesh it's even more beautiful. It feels rock hard in his hand ... the skin is like marble. Callum's aroma is intoxicating him more and more. Everything about him is inviting Ben to taste ... to succumb to temptation. He takes the head into his mouth for the first few minutes, gently pulling it in and out of his mouth, revelling in the taste and texture. The older man writhes on the bed, becoming more and more vocal of his approval of Ben's actions. Smiling at his effect Ben takes Callum deeper in his mouth, swirling his tongue along the length, leaving trails of saliva at the base of Callum's cock. Callum's hips begin to buck up, forcing his cock deeper down Ben's throat. Ben's able to take it, he delights in the burn, tears coming to his eyes from the feeling of Callum thrusting into his throat. Before Callum can come Ben pulls off his cock with a load slurp letting the other man's member flop against hs belly. 'Hmm you taste too good Cal.' He drags his body along Callum's stomach up to his chest. Their cocks align perfectly, the friction being eased by the trail of saliva left by Ben's mouth and the pre-cum leaking from both their cocks.

'That felt amazing Ben. Bloody hell, you felt so good going down on me.' Ben smiled and kissed Callum lazily allowing the other man to taste himself on Ben's lips. Both were soon lost in each other again, the room being filled with a litany of groans and gasps. Eventually Ben extricated himself from Callum's embrace and pushed himself up so he was straddling the others man's lap. He grins down at the other man, taking in the firm body beneath him glistening with sweat in the sparkling midnight sky, ' I could stay like this forever ... with you naked beneath me.' Callum smiles back at him, 'The views not bad from here either ya know.' Ben feels Callum's hands grab his ass cheeks and he cannot help but giggle like a schoolgirl as Callum gives them a cheeky squeeze. Callum stares intently at Ben's groin and Ben is transfixed by the hungry look that appears on his face. 'What would you like Cal? What do you want to do to me babe?' Callum blushes and smiles down into his chest and Ben is turned on even more by the subtle shade of pink Callum turns. His lover looks up at him through hooded eyes with a mischievous grin on his face, 'I want to suck you off and then I want you to fuck me.' Ben eyes go wide and his mouth forms a perfect 'O' in shock, 'Woah babe .... yes please ... but only if you're ready because you know the first time can be a bit overwhelming.' Callum smiles as he licks his lips, slowly beginning to toy gently with Bens cock, 'Yeah I'm sure. I've been ... uhm .... reading up and stuff about how to prepare. I've been thinking about this for a really long time, Â especially as soon as I met you. I'd kinda like to try both ways but I've been fantasising about this for a long time.' Ben leans down to capture Callum's lips in his and in this movement not a part of them is separate. They are as one body and mind, building towards something ecstatic. Hands wander and caress every smooth surface, lips suckle on tender crevices and the air feels rich with desire. Ben feels Callum's hands on his ass again and they push him firmly up the other man's chest. He looks down open-mouthed, struck dumb by the look of want of the man he is straddling. Soon he is sitting on Callum's chest, hands gripping the headboard for support. Staring intently at Ben, Callum begins to lick teasingly at the head of Ben's penis, the simple tender act almost instantaneously becoming Ben's undoing. Ben is unable to form words and can only arch his back, hoping that Callum won't tease him for much longer. The man beneath him is kind and takes the entire length into his mouth, claiming the entirety of Ben's cock with his soft tongue. Slowly he moves himself in and out of Callum's mouth, the other man's hands cradling his ass and controlling the pace. The whole act was slowly causing Ben to lose all power over his body, eventually only being held in place by Callum's hands. Eventually he managed to gasp, 'Cal ... Cal... I'm not going to last ...'

Callum stopped his ministrations and smiled up at Ben, 'Was that ok ... you felt amazing in my mouth.' Ben shuffled back down his body and snuggled in close, 'It was divine. You looked so hot sucking me off.' Ben's hands trailed down Callum's body, first starting with his nipples, then along the knot of scars, along Callum's penis and then finally tracing a line up and down the perineum. 'Have you got anything we could use. ... hmmm ... ya know condoms and lube.' Callum was biting his lips, distracted by the trail of Ben's fingertips, 'Oh yeah ... yeah I do. Just in the drawer beside you there ... second one down ... near the back.' Ben rolled to his side to root through the drawers, finding the necessary accoutrements for their next endeavour. Â He squeezed out some lube onto his fingers and warmed it up gently. Lying down beside Callum he ran his fingers down the other man's penis again, loving the feeling of it twitching as he travelled closer to hiss prize. Slowly he circled Callum's hole, making sure he looked at the other man for reassurance. As he circled more and more, relaxing the muscle to allow more access, Callum kissed and sucked at Ben's neck. Soon Ben managed to work one finger into his lover, enjoying the reaction that it stimulated in the other man. 'Yes Ben .. that feels so good.' As Callum became more comfortable Ben added a second and then a third finger, taking his time and adding lube when needed.

As he scissored Callum open, their kisses were becoming dirtier and Callum was stroking Ben's penis along with his own. Groans and gasps filled the air. 'I think I'm ready Ben ... please ... please take me.' As fast as he could Ben sheathed himself and motioned Callum to straddle him, 'You'll be better able to control how much you take this way ... you'll be in charge of how you like it.' Callum clambered on top of Ben, his meaty thighs squeezing Ben firmly. Ben was enraptured with Callum ... Â the vision above him was glistening with sweat and his quiff was in artfully dishevelled. As Callum lowered himself down on Ben's cock he felt almost undone by the warm feeling that engulfed him. Callum took his time and held the tip of Ben inside him and as he got used to the sensation lowered and writhed himself slowly. Ben almost choked on the pleasure that was building within him. He had so rarely had the chance to have sex in this way ... Liam having denied his desires for so long. With Callum the sex was already feeling reciprocal ... both men's pleasures and desires were equal. There was no control ...it was two people fusing together to become one. The light from the square danced all over Callum's skin, mesmerising Ben. Each flicker highlighted the other man's beauty as he rode Ben's cock. Ben could start to feel the pressure build in his stomach and he could recognise that Callum's movements were beginning to falter. He took Callum's cock in hand and began to stroke in time to his movement. With a delicious groan Callum came all over Ben's stomach and quickly leaned down to kiss Ben passionately. The sight of the man above him coming in such ecstasy caused Ben to follow suit and litter the air with a cacophony of groans and expletives. Callum kissed Ben tenderly and rolled to cuddle into him on his side. He closed his eyes, a look of contentment evident on his face, 'Yeah I think we'll be doing that again.' Ben giggled at the simple statement and cuddled in closer to Callum, peppering the other man's shoulder and neck with delicate kisses. 'Hell yes. Plus ya know I'd like the same in return if you'd like to try?' Callum opened his eyes and stared deeply at Ben, 'Definitely babe, I'm up for that ... just maybe not tonight,' he giggled and pulled Ben into a passionate embrace. Soon fell asleep, entangled in each others arms.

In one short night both men felt like they had reached the next stage in their relationship. Both men had the same feeling ... both too scared to admit that they already felt it to the other ... that simple four letter word ... LOVE. As dawn rose over the square, they both were in a deep slumber. Ben feeling for the first time in ages completely fulfilled, with no guilt after a night of passion.

As they slept both men remained unaware that outside in the shadows stood a familiar figure, Liam. Hours earlier he had watched with satisfaction as Ben had ran up the stairs to Callum's clutching the pictures he had planted on the doorstep. He had expected to see his former lover storm out a short while after his entry but was intrigued when that did not happen. He was filled with anger ... a rage so terrifying and all-consuming ... when he had seen not two hours later the dance of shadows in the bedroom that confirmed that his plan had not worked. He ground his teeth and slowly made his way to his dark car, plotting his next plan ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally managed to get the chapter up - sorry for the delay. It took a while to hopefully get it right (fingers crossed).


	10. Chapter 10

Ben awakens to the sound of the market out in the square, everyone busy setting up for the day's trade. He cannot contain the deep feeling of contentment within him, he feels positively effervescent. Beside him Callum snores softly. In this golden moment Ben takes the opportunity to study every feature, every freckle, every chickenpox scar - committing every detail to memory. Cheekily he lifts up the blanket to sneak another look at Callum's impressive package. He giggles at his own audacity, acting like a blushing school girl and loving every minute of it. He suddenly has a brilliant idea on how to wake the other man.

Slowly he carefully removes the blanket bunched around their waists. Thankfully the room is warm so Callum barely moves. First he imparts a gentle kiss on the other man's lips, chaste and delicate, a preamble to his other filthier intentions. Callum snuffles gently but remains resolutely asleep beside him. Ben smiles to himself and captures Callum's earlobe and gently nips keeping one eye on the other man to gauge his reaction. Another breathy moan .... but still Callum snores gently beside him. Ben spends the next five minutes pressing gently kisses and nips to Callum's nose, cheeks and neck but still no response. Ben feels a fit of giggles beginning to take over him, never has he been so playful and romantic in the bedroom and he's enjoying every moment of his game. 

Steadily Ben moves down Callum's torso taking his time with Callum's nipples, nipping and swirling his tongue around each. Callum is beginning to stir beside him so he stops momentarily. As soon he settles he kisses him way down the other man's stomach and pauses when he reaches his cock. It's already rock hard and straining to reach towards Ben. He stifles a giggle and peppers soft kisses along the length. When he looks up towards Callum he sees that the man has finally awoken and is sleepily taking in the scene below him. He chuckles and bites his lip, spurring Ben to take his whole length in his mouth, 'Fuck Ben this is definitely a great way to start the day,' he gasps. Soon their early morning is lost to exploration and discovery of each others bodies.They become so enamoured with discovering each other that they find themselves having to hurry showers so they can both make it to the restaurant on time to start their working day, giggling as they sprint across the square to make it to Chez Benjamin on time.

During lunch service both men manage to somehow successfully put on a show of professionalism, despite the fact that they both think of every excuse under the sun to spend time in each other's company, to touch each others arms or sometimes a cheeky pinch here and there. Chantelle keeps sending them knowing looks and winks throughout the day and Ben doesn't know how everyone else hasn't figured out what they've been up to. Miraculously the day flies by and both manage to leave the rest of the crew to look after the evening's service, a little bit nervous but confident in their ability to shine without the watchful eyes of the head chef and owner/manager looking over them. As they cross the square, Callum quickly glances round and steals a quick peck before it hurries across to his flat, 'Don't be late alright. I'm going to cook something special for us both. Just give me an hour.' He beams from ear to ear as he runs backwards into Mo as she carries a cardboard box full of candy heart thongs. 'Oi Big Bird watch where you're going, you're gonna damage me merchandise.' Ben breaks out in fits of giggles while Callum apologetically tries to clear up the mess he's caused. He's crimson as he gingerly holds one of the gaudy thongs at arms length. 'Uh here you go ... eh sorry bout that, seems like the wrong time of year to be selling these though. Valentine's day is not for ages.' Mo smirks up a Callum, 'Sure Halloween is only round the corner.' Ben nearly chokes with laughter at the incredulous expression on Callum's face as he slowly backs away from Mo. He still forgets that Callum is a relative newcomer to the quirkiness of the characters on the square.

Soon the hour passes and Ben finds himself walking across the square to Callum's, excitement thrumming though his body due to the slap up meal he's about to receive as well as the possibility for more bedroom antics later. The air is warm and his skin prickles with nervousness as he nears his destination. The market has long since been packed up and local residents fill the streets chatting and catching up with the latest gossip. He loves this time of year, summer is nearing its end and the autumn air is beginning to weave its magic. As a kid he enjoyed the efforts his mum made in getting him dressed up for the occasion. Later, when he was under the care of his father he had remembered with an ache in his heart the joy he used to feel. His father believed such activities were too childish for a 11 year old and had tried to make him watch movies that were much too mature for his years. He still sometimes remembered Phil laughing at him when he woke up terrified. But still these later experiences had not dulled his love of the slow move towards the Halloween season and he already had great plans for the couples costumes he would force Callum to wear. Lost in his reveries as he crossed the square, he did not notice the black car slowly following his progress. As he rang the buzzer on Callum's door, the faint click of a camera could faintly be heard in the background. 

As he made his way up the step stairs to Callum's flat he could discern delectable aromas wafting down to welcome him, 'Hey babe something smells divine. What did you rustle up?' Callum enveloped him in a deep hug and proceeded to kiss the top of his head. Ben could feel himself melt into the other man's embrace. 'Hmm I missed. you.' Ben giggles at Callum's admission, 'It's not even been an hour Cal ..... but yeah I kinda missed you too. So come on tell me what amazing dish have you conjoured up for me this evening.' Callum smiles and takes him by the hand to lead him into his small kitchen. 'It's just a simple dish really, tortellini en brodo.' Ben peers into the large pan in front of him. It's full of a clear chicken broth that smells divine. In the fragrant liquid dance little delicate parcels of pasta shaped like nun's hats. 'Wow this looks amazing. What's in the pasta?' Callum approaches behind him and wraps his arms around Ben's waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. 'I messed around with it a little. Normally you have pork, prosciutto and mortadella in the tortellini but I stuffed it with some really good quality chicken from a supplier I want us to use. So basically it's chicken pasta.' Ben smiles as Callum hands him an ice cold beer and holds it out to clink their drinks together, 'Well chef this looks like the fanciest chicken pasta I've ever seen. Definitely excellent perks in dating a gourmet chef.' Callum chuckles and grabs Ben by the waist pulling him into an easy embrace; their bodies falling each other with ease and no awkwardness. It's in moments like these that Ben feels like they are made for each other, each moulded to fit the other perfectly. As he relaxes into Callum's embrace, the older man skilfully stirs the pot while peppering the top of Ben's head with kisses.

In time they sit down and tuck into their meal. Silence fills the air, not stilted or unwelcome, the silence of companionship and of understanding. Soon Ben has finished three quarters of his meal, each bite more delicious then the last, he feels full but also unable to stop because of the morishness of the pasta. 'Well Cal babe I must say this is the best chicken pasta I have ever tasted.' Callum smiles and as always it takes Ben's breath away. 'I love that about you ya know.' Callum quirks his head, 'What do you mean?' Ben smiles and shyly dips his head, 'Well you're an amazing chef and you get compliments daily about your craft but every time someone points out your talent you blush. It's ridiculously sweet and endearing.' They hold hands across the table and Ben marvels into the natural rhythm they have fallen into. He feels like he's known Callum forever and his previous relationship with Liam feels like distant nightmare. Callum strokes the top of his knuckles and again they fall into a gentle silence that is neither awkward nor strained. Ben feels soothed and all the stresses from the days work leave his body. _This is how it should always be,_ he thinks to himself. Outside a nearby car alarm breaks their reverie and both smile knowingly at other, both seemingly thinking the same - _this is wonderful_. Callum is the first to break the companionable silence, 'So I had a call from my landlord Pam, I think you said you knew her didn't you.' Ben nods and is instantly intrigued. 'Well anyway she called and asked if it was ok if she popped in some time. Seems like she has to come to do the accounts and she thinks herself and her husband ... Les I think she said ... left a box of their grandson's in the attic space. She forgot about it when they were moving and just want to obviously bring it home with them next time they're hear. I think I might see if I can drag it down for them just so they don't have to climb into that dusty space. Do you think that would be alright ... they wouldn't mind me touching their stuff would they?' Ben chuckled, 'You're always thinking of how to make someone else's life easier ain't ya. Bet you were a Boy Scout and all.' Callum blushed crimson. 'Haha I was right. Dammit that's so cute. Look I think that's a great idea. Wonder when she'll be round, would love to see Pam and have a proper catch up. Last time I saw her was Paul's funeral. God that was a tough day. Sure next time she calls just double check with her and I'm sure she'll agree.'

As they tidied up after their meal they drifted into talking about other things; mostly the upcoming Food Festival and how they were going to tinker with he tasting menu so it would be ready in time to showcase. 'Well Cal, we've got a bit of time to finalise so I don't want you to stress too much babe. So far the couple of drafts and tests we've done have been pretty close to the mark. Keegan's been a godsend ya know even just with helping me out with the marketing side of things. Ya know everyone at the restaurant is behind it which helps and we all believe in your vision for the menu. I certainly do anyway... although I may be a little bit biased ... what with your impressive package and that.' Ben giggled as Callum swatted him with the tea towel. 'Oi cheeky!! It just feels like we're missing a dish you know, something that on appearance just looks normal but once you bite into it ... well you know it blows your mind. The sort of dish that ten years down the road people are still talking about.' Ben smirks, a quip already on his lips, 'Like me you mean,' he dodges another swipe of the tea towel. He retreats to Callum's bedroom to grab pillow to counter attack but Callum is on him like lightning, pushing him on top of the bed.

Tea towels and pillows forgotten, they dive into a passionate kiss. Soon lips part, tongues begin to explore and their bodies are grinding against each other. Callum trails kisses across his jaw, travelling to the weak spot behind his ear making him come undone with the sensation. His mind begins to swim and he loses himself to the feelings that envelop him. Before he can mutter a word of encouragement or satisfaction, Callum has somehow quickly divested him of his trousers. He opens his the eyes to the sight of Callum mouthing at his cock over the tight material of his boxers. His mind becomes drunk with the excitement coursing through his cock. Soon his boxers are removed too and he notices that as Callum is sucking him off, the other man is ensuring that he himself is not left out. Ben concentrates on the feeling of the other man's lips and tongue swirling around his member but he also focuses his eyes on the sight of Callum fisting his own cock in his hands. Ben feels himself stutter, 'Babe ... babe ... I want to go down on you while you're sucking my cock ... please.' He stifles a giggle when he sees Callum's eyes almost pop out of there sockets. Quickly and clumsily Callum removes his pants and boxers. While the other man is removing his clothing, Ben moves so his body is covering the bed but his head is touching the side. From this vantage point his mouth began to salivate at the sight looming large above him.

Callum has stilled unsure of his next move and yelped with shock as he felt Ben's hands reach up and pull his thighs towards him. The scent of the man above him was heady and inviting but he could still sense Callum's wariness .. knowing that he was worried about hurting Ben. This encourages Ben to envelop Callum's cock with his mouth ... nearly becoming overwhelmed at the sensation of Callum filling his mouth, the other man's cock sliding further down his throat on each thrust. Above him Callum has still yet to venture closer to his own member, so Ben begins to knead the taller man's ass with his hands ... hoping the action would spur Callum to travel the small distance to his aching cock. His attentions are rewarded when shortly he feels Callum's tongue tentatively lick along his length. At this he groans heartily sending a palpable shiver down Callum's body. Soon all nervousness and trepidation are forgotten as they lose themselves discovering every inch of the other's throbbing member. As Callum comes down his throat minutes later, Ben reciprocates and feels himself pulsate deep within his partner's mouth. Soon both men fall asleep together ... exhausted from their exertions and wrapped up his others warm embrace.

Over the next couple of weeks as they begin to near the food festival their relationship begins to steadily build. Neither had mentioned the 'B' word, although to all intents and purposes they had fallen into a serious relationship quite quickly. However in the background a few incidents begin to knock Ben's nerves. He still can't get rid of the feeling of being watched and soon he starts to receive calls from a unknown number. It's beginning to irk him but otherwise his new relationship and his business are going great. And then things begin to take an unwelcome turn.

The first major incident that occurs is that a large party books a table and then cancels at the last minute. Whitney had taken the large booking a month earlier, just before his break-up with Liam, for a Friday evening ... typically their busiest period. The party numbered twenty and Ben was reassured as the booker had left credit card details to cover some of a special order that they wanted to arrange; a large specialist cake, expensive bottles of champagne and Callum had ordered in beluga caviar for some of the au d'oeuvres the party had requested. All the prep had been arranged and a large section of the restaurant was closed off for the party. He had had to turn away a few reservations a result but Ben was excited as it seemed like they were finally attracting the clientele he always hoped for. Soon eight o'clock arrived and the crew were buzzing with excitement at their first big event, 'Alright guys we should be expecting that party shortly. Do we have the champagne on ice and the canapés ready to bring out.' Ben is running about with Chantelle checking everything is perfect for the night while ensuring that his regulars are still treated like royalty. 'Whit any sign of them arriving yet,' Ben asked as he neared the front of the restaurant. Looking out across the square there's no signs of any possible partygoers and a feeling of dread begins to build in his stomach. The phone suddenly rings in the reception and Chantelle picks up. He makes out bits and pieces of the conversation and slowly his dread builds. 'Hello Chez Benjamin, Chantelle speaking ... Sorry what? Eh I don't understand you'd like to cancel. Ok sir but unfortunately we've gone to a lot of trouble for your party and have ordered in a lot of extras as per your request. We'll have to charge you for the extras you requested. Oh ok well that's very generous of you ... eh hello ... hello .... he's hung up on me.'

Ben rushes over to Chantelle just as the call ends, 'Eh was that what I think it was?' Chantelle gulps and nods her head. 'Well look we'll have to charge him for the caviar and the au d'ouevres anyway but this isn't going to look good for us.'

The next day is when they all realise that the credit card they had been paid with had been reported stolen so now they were out of pocket a couple of hundred quid as well. Everyone was devastated and Ben could feel waves of guilt wash over him. He chastised himself for being 'greedy', of trying to get too big too soon .... of being too like Ian. Callum was a godsend. He kept reminding Ben of how it was totally normal for a restaurant to want to take a big party booking like that. It helped a lot but still Ben could feel a bitter taste at the back of his throat. Luckily the restaurant had been doing so well of late that he was able to absorb the costs. Callum's ingenuity also helped as he put on a special on the menu to use up the expensive caviar which proved to be such a massive hit with the clientele that they had to but it on the permanent menu due to repeated demands. Callum also reminded Ben that champagne doesn't go off and that they could use it for the food festival. That just left the massive specialist cake that the staff just drowned their sorrows with the next day after service ended - ending up so hyper on sugar that they all hit the club after they closed for the evening dancing until the break of dawn and further cementing the close bonds that were being developed.

Soon however there was another dark cloud on the horizon. A few days later the 'reviews' started to appear online. All bad and all obviously fake. It didn't take Ben and his team long to get them taken down but he worries that the damage is already done. Plus now he has to be extra vigilant on all the review sites to make sure more fake reviews don't appear. It's one evening as they are sitting in the office before service that Ben breaks down in Callum's arms as he reports the appearance of some more fake reviews. 'This feels never-ending Cal. What are we going to do? As soon as I get rid of one, another three pop up. I fell like I'm spending every waking minute removing these.' He snuffles into Callum's shoulder trying to breath in the other man's scent to calm him. Callum pushes him back gently, 'Here look at me love. Please Ben.' He snuffles again and looks up into the azure eyes of the love of his life, 'You keep focusing on these fake reviews but you've forgotten to focus on the good. Here look at this one.' Ben smiles weakly at him but proceeds to read the review that Callum's clicked into:

_'Last night I just had the best meal of my life. Went to Chez Benjamin's on the 8th of August and had the most amazing dinner. The starter was out of this world - had the special of the langoustines with a generous dollop of beluga caviar and it was just divine. I mean they had me at the starter alone. The main course of the rack of lamb just melted in the mouth and the lemon curd tart was the best I've ever had. I've eaten in a lot of Michelin starred restaurants in my time and they just don't come close to the standard here. The thing is it's not just the food. Before the meal I had a quick cocktail at the bar and instantly I felt welcomed and comfortable. The bar men were excellent and the easy banter between them and the customers shone through. The waiting staff were professional and always at hand .. but never in your face. Nothing felt stilted or awkward about the whole evening. Even the decor is perfect. I mean I'm seriously impressed. We never felt rushed and as soon as I woke the next day I made another booking for another meal in a weeks time.'_

'The thing is Ben is that there's more reviews like this one here than there are fake reviews. And these well ... these shine through. These are locals who know us now. We're part of the surroundings. We prove ourselves day in, day out with the fantastic job that we do and the excellent service we provide. Fuck those assholes who think they can break us. Let's show them we don't give a damn and just make sure each service is better than the last. The staff are up to it and so are we.' Yet again Callum surprises Ben with his mettle and his determination. Instead of pulling him down, Callum always spurred Ben on ... reinvigorated him. 'You're right Cal .... Fuck those bastards. Let's show them what we're made of.' With that they both jumped up and got back to pulling the troop together, putting the effects of the fake reviews behind them and refocusing on what mattered most.

But then just as Ben is shaking off the effects of the cancelled booking and the bogus reviews, the next incident occurs which leaves him indignant with a rage he hasn't felt since he was a teenager. It was a Wednesday morning and unusually for Ben he was travelling to work alone, having spent the night separate from Callum. Callum had spent the previous evening out with his army mate so for the first time in 3 weeks they hadn't spent the night together. As he crossed the square his phone buzzed with a message from his man - _Get here quick Ben, we've got a bit of a problem!!!_ Panic building he sprints across the square. Callum has never been one to freak out about the restaurant. He's always been the calming, level-headed one of them both. As soon as he enters the restaurant he heads to the kitchen. 'What's up babe? I got your messa ...... oh sweet fuck!!!!' The kitchen was an absolute mess, which was a shock as the previous evening Honey and Bobby had scrubbed every inch before closing. There were smears of food and grease everywhere and even more horrifically there were what looked like rat or mouse droppings littered across every surface. 'I just got in around ten minutes to this. It's obvious that someone did to us but why the hell would they do this.' Callum was pale and look panicked. Callum was a stickler for the health and safety rules and had instilled in his brigade the best of habits. Every evening without fail the place had to be sparkling before they left, no surface unwashed. Not only could this destroy Ben's restaurant but this could ruin Callum's reputation in the chef world forever. In the background Ben could hear his phone ring, but decided to let the answer machine pick up the message. As he tried to calm Callum by holding onto the other man's arms and stroking gently he could somewhat make out the message in the background, 'Answer your fucking phone Ben. I've been trying to get through to you all morning. One of my contacts has tipped me off that there will a surprise health inspection today at yours. Just make sure that the place in spic and span right. Should be alright if you follow the Beale empire procedures. Right I better be off I'm in important meetings all day. Let's just say you'll be seeing my lovely mug on some top of the line gourmet frozen meals very soon.' Ben grimaced at his brother Ian's message until the horrific reality kicked in.

'Shit! Shit! Shit!' Callum quickly leapt out of Ben's embrace, shaking himself out of funk and sprung into immediate action. 'Right I'm going to start cleaning. Ben ... Ben .... look it's going to be ok. Ring Chantelle, tell her what's happening and get her to organise the troops.' Ben snapped out of his shocked state and joined Callum in getting down to business. Running to his office he picked up his phone and called Chantelle, who luckily answered on the first ring, 'Heya Ben, what's up?' Ben took a big breath and explained everything as quickly as he could ... 'So that's the story. Can you organise everyone as quickly as possible, although I'm not to sure how we'll deal with the rodent issue.' Chantelle cut in, 'Don't worry about that .... I've got a plan. I'll be there in 15 alright. Chin up mate, we're going to sort this.' 

In the fifteen minutes since his conversation with Chantelle, himself and Callum have worked a minor miracle in sorting out the majority of the mess but he still has a sinking feeling about the location of the infestation problem and who the cause might have been. As he scrubs the work surfaces and Callum gets rids of their supplies, he hears the front door of the restaurant open. Quickly Callum and Ben run out front to be greeted by the entire workforce, all bleary eyed from being woken so early but all obviously eager to help. Callum takes the lead in getting them all to task, 'Right Keegan get on the blower to our suppliers, I've left a list of everything. Bobby here's your list, head down to the market and get all the fruit and veg we need. I've already organised the dry goods to be delivered, called in a favour and Bert should be here any minute. Look we're lucky as we were low on most stuff anyway so this should't cost us too much. Whit and Tiff, can you clean every surface and glass front of house. Tubbs and Honey can you finish off the kitchen. Billy can you scrub the toilets and around reception.' Callum took a big breath and looked at Ben. Then he looked at everyone else who were still taking in all his hurried instructions. 'Fuck it! I need this. Come here babe.' In the blink of an eye he crossed over to Ben and locked lips with him. Despite his shock, Ben melted into the kiss and returned it just as eagerly. A chorus of whoops filled the air just as Chantelle entered the restaurant with a tall handsome man following behind her. 'Eh finally I was getting sick of having to keep your secret. Alright everyone this is my .... uhm .... this is my friend Kheeret. Luckily he owns an extermination business. He's gonna sort out our problem aren't ya love.' 

Somehow they manage it. The restaurant is back to being spotless, the kitchen restocked with new produce and the pesky rodents have been found and desposed of by Kheeret. Lunch service is upon them but somehow they also manage to be prepped and ready for the onslaught of diners. As if on cue a curiously smug Liam appears at the door. 'Oh hello Benny darling, I have a table booked, party of two please under the name of Dmitry Medadov. Accompanying him is a young man of no more than eighteen. Beautiful, dark-haired and completely enamoured with Liam. Ben feels sorry for him, knowing how it felt to be once in the same position .. of being paraded like a prize pony. It all comes into focus as soon as the health inspector makes his appearance at the exact same moment. 'Sure Liam please come this way, Whitney will sit you. I just have to look after this gentleman here. How can I help you sir?' Liam looks at Ben quizzically as Whitney guides him to their seat. 'Hello, Mr Mitchell. I'm Dean Stanley, the health inspector, there have been reports of some sightings of rodents on the premises.' Ben smiles and guides him to his office by Liam's table, 'Well I do wonder Mr Stanley who would think such a thing. I think you'll find Chez Benjamin is virtually spotless.' 

As Mr Stanley makes his way into the kitchen, Ben can see Whitney seating Liam and his date at their worst table by the toilet door. It's not normally a table they use for customers, normally using it as a temporary stationing point for trays and bottles of plonk. He can make out Liam trying to persuade Whitney to seat them elsewhere but she sweetly informs them that would not be possible they are booked out for the evening. Over the next two hours everyone is on tenterhooks as Mr Stanley completes his inspection. In that time Ben successfully manages to avoid punching Liam's lights out. Mr Stanley becomes him over as he completes him notes. "Absolutely spotless Mt Mitchell. Think whoever made that report needs to have their eyes tested. That kitchen should be in a manual it's that clean. Very impressive sir. Don't think you'll be hearing from us for some time young man.' Ben shakes Mr Stanley's hand enthusiastically. 'Thank you so much. My head chef has very high standards and he's rubbed off on me,' Ben winks cheekily at the oblivious health inspector but out of the corner of his eye he can see Liam's face turn red with fury.

It's nearing three o'clock and lunch service is well over, but the only diners that remain are Liam and his date ... hanging around like a bad smell. All the tables have been cleared from around them and the staff are already setting up for dinner service. Despite the repeated coughs and hints from Tiff, Whitney and Billy, Liam and his date are still slowing feeding each other dessert. Ben feels himself sicken at the display, mostly because it brings back memories of his time with Liam. Memories he would like to push to the back of his head. As if on cue, Callum appears from the kitchen ready to take his well-earned break. He looks shattered but still incredibly handsome. He strides over to Ben and grabs him by the waist, planting a loud kiss on the centre of his head. Ben can feel the attention of Liam, Dmitry and the entire staff on them. Callum smiles devilishly and says loudly so everyone can hear clearly, 'Gonna head back to mine for an hour's kip before the next rush. Was thinking my hot boyfriend could join me for some snuggles.' As Ben chuckles at Callum's cheekiness, he can hear a loud crack and the shouts of the young Russian boy, 'Ty che, blyad! Liam why did you do something so crazy. Your hand, it bleeds. Sorry can you get us something to stop the bleeding?' Tiff quickly runs over with a first aid kit and looks at the wound. 'Just a scratch. Here put this on it. Try not to bleed on the linen sir.' Liam seems to gather himself back up and blusters, 'There was obviously a crack in the glass. That's not god enough Benny. If it was anyone else they would probably put a claim in.' Dmitry obviously was not on the same page as Liam and in his innocence adds his two cents, 'Oh no Liam, the glass is very strong. You were holding it too hard and it shattered in your hand when I said that the taller man with the beautiful eyes was very sexy.' Tiff cackles, quickly covering her mouth and retreating to the kitchen. A few seconds later Ben hears a cacophony of laughter from the kitchen. Ben tries to cover his smirk, taking Callum by the hand and pulling him towards the door, 'Come on sexy. Let's take a break and some shut eye.' As they cross the square it's only then that Ben freezes, the enormity of the situation suddenly making itself apparent. Callum turns to him concerned and rubs him hands up an down his arms, soothing him, 'It'll be ok Ben. We're not going to let him get the better of us.' Ben just looks up at him smiling, 'I know that. He won't get the better of me ... not anymore. No it's not that'. Callum looks at him quizzically, further confused with the shy look on Ben's face, 'So what's up?' Ben smiles and bites his lip 'So I'm your boyfriend am I.' Callum blushes and attempts to restrain the grin on his face, 'Yeah if that sounds alright to you ... Ben Mitchell ... will you be my boyfriend?' Ben pulls Callum into his arms and leans up for a quick kiss, 'Of course Cal, now let's get that peachy ass back to yours so we can celebrate the occasion.' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay. This chapter has been rewritten countless times and may yet be edited again at some point because there's probably a mountain of typos but I wanted to get something up so it would encourage me to finish the story. I've had to split this chapter and I'm hoping the gap won't as long this time before I get another up!!!


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